A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few weeks ago my friend introduced me to the guy she's dating bestfriend. The 4 of us ended up chillen together. Drinking, playing games, just enjoying ourselves. At the end of the night me and the friend ended up sleeping together, unprotected. And it happened again 3 days later. After the second time I didn't hear from him. Then one day while I was walking home with my son, I saw him. We live in the same neighborhood, but I had never seen him before the day we first met. So I see him and we don't really say much but he tells me to hit him up (call him). I text him a few days later and he's being real short with me as if I'm bothering him or something. So I tell him that I'm just going to leave him alone becase he doesn't seem very interested. He says ok. I'm pissed but I keep it to myself. So after that conversation I seem to see him every other day. But I never speak I just keep walking. He'll stare me down, but never say anything. Now I find out I'm pregnant. Now what? Do I tell him, or how would I tell him. I don't know if I'm going to keep it, but is this something he needs to know?
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female
reader, Nitru  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I read the answers here, there are good reasons why you shouldn't tell him, but i recommend you do tell him. Not because he will want to know hes a dad but because if you keep the child, he/she WILL want to know who the dad is so dont hide it if your keeping the baby. If your going for abortion then you don't have to tell him, but if you tell him before you decide he might help you decide. Then again he might be a total jerk. Talk to your best friends and your family, people who know you best because we do not know you.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (14 April 2010):
 I would tell him. Why should you go through this alone. Why did he not think of using a condom, one cannot just assume a woman is on birth control. I am not supportive of abortions as its a life and will not comment on what you plan to do. He needs to know to stand up to his responsibility and make it very clear you have no interest in a personal relationship with him as the ship has sailed. Be prepared for the fact that he might insist you have an abortion and want nothing to do with the baby. He might also contest whether its his.
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A
female
reader, RoseyPosey +, writes (14 April 2010):
I understand what u are going thru because I have been in a similar situation. You both are adults who made the decision to have unprotected sex and everyone knows there's a possibility they could get pregnant. He is just as responsible as you are, so you should tell him. It doesn't matter what his reaction is, he's still responsible whether he wants to be there or not.
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A
female
reader, sweetspicy +, writes (14 April 2010):
 wow! I dont think you will like what I have to say but I'm going to say it any ways. My thoughts tell me that he isn't interested in a relationship and just saw you as a good time. When he gave you his number and said hit me up sometime, chances are he thinks your easy and is not going to respect you. This is the exact reason why in some countries woman get killed for having children without being married. I know it's hard but don't tell him anything for a few reasons:
-chances are if he thinks your easy to sleep with (name calling) then he doesn't respect you
-He will think you are tring to trap him into a commitment that he doesnt want
-you might get him mad especially if you forgot to tell him you weren't on birth controll
-He might make the situation a lot worse for you by telling you how he feels
He doesnt need to know anything IF you decide to keep it chances are he will find out anyways, mostly becasue when you keep a child and are not with the partner they ask A LOT of questions in the doctors offices. Belive me you will have alot of doctors appointments and they will constantly ask who's the father? Do you want support? How do you plan to pay the babies health insurance? and if you get anything on state they might even harass you with dcf workers because you are single. In the future ware a condom it protects against diseases and children that you're unsure of.
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A
female
reader, Auntie E +, writes (14 April 2010):
 To answer your question. No don't tell him. He doesn't care about you and the fact that you are pregnant and telling him it's his baby will not change that fact. He will care even less and probably be pissed. You do not have a relationship with him. You only had sex with him twice without the benefit of a relationship. Go to the clinic for some advice on what to do about the pregnancy. Leave this guy alone - he does not and will not care about you - he has already demonstrated that. Understand? And please get on some birth control - you have a son to raise - you don't need another baby by a guy that you don't even know! Ok?
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