A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:started seeing a younger guy recently, he is 24 and I am 30 everything seem's perfect, but he still likes to spend a lot of time with his mate's, I would spend every availible minuite with him, we dont have much time because i have two children, but when I dont have the kids I want to be with him.But he still divides the time between me and his mates, should I be worried? could his mean he is not as keen? please help Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007): Thank you all who answered, I have taken all the advice on board, it's good to know it's not just me going through this!
A
female
reader, flyingskirt  +, writes (8 July 2007):
he would have never spoken to you (as an older woman with kids) in the first place if he wasn't interested in you, so strike that from your thoughts. you will definitely chase him off by pressuring him to spend more time with you, however. i'm not saying you two won't be a good couple, but stay mindful that you're in different life stages. he's in his early 20s and almost ready to complete that stage of finding/asserting himself as an individual while you have two lives to look after. you're going to have to give him space or he'll accuse you of smothering.just don't take his actions personally, be nice and friendly when he comes around and give him space he should have. also don't focus too much on him and date other people (even casually/friendly). either he'll come around or you'll meet someone else in the meantime.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2007): Be careful. When I was 30 (last year), I started going out with a 22 year old who told me all the things I wanted to hear. He had been a close friend and I thought because of the fact that even at 22 he was capable of a long term relationship having just come out of a 5 year one, that he would be a safe bet. How wrong was I! It quickly became obvious that he wanted to play the field and who can blame him really after all he had been through (his fiancee was cheating on him), but I felt totally duped by the whole thing.
I think he is in a different place to you because of the ages. He understandably wants to see his mates as often as possible at his age. I think try to talk to him, but don't push him to spend more time with you as he could come to resent you for it.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 I think you're not in the same situation. You have responsibilities, but, apparently, he doesn't have as many as you do.
I think you feel unappreciated in the sense that he doesn't seem to reciprocate the commitment. Maybe he is unaware of what a minute of your time means. Try to get him to see this.
However, I need to tell you that he will still want to have time with his mates, and he has the right to.
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A
female
reader, Ask_HanBan +, writes (8 July 2007):
 there are two possible reasons; the age could be something to do with it, hes in hos early 20's so he lives young
yet he could be living 2 personas, his caring side with you and his lads lad side with his mates
talk to him,
gd luk Hannah :)
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