A
female
age
30-35,
*twinklex
writes:I started talking to this guy on the internet a few years ago and we've gotten really close, though we've not met in person. We've always flirted etc but lately we just got closer and shared how we really feel for each other. However, he said this made him feel bad because even though he wanted to, he couldn't cope with another long distance relationship (6hrs drive) so that was that. Then things got weird between us, and we stopped talking because I was too shy and embarrassed by my weight to go see him. Now we're back to before, flirting and joking and him still asking to see me but... He's got a girlfriend.. Who lives 7hrs away.. I'm so confused. Was he just using me to cure boredom, did he ever like me and is there any point hoping something might happen? :(
View related questions:
flirt, long distance, shy, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, xtwinklex +, writes (23 December 2009):
xtwinklex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionDenise32, you're right.
In a totally irrational way, I'm hurt that he has a gf even though I have no real right to be. But more so, I'm angry at myself for chickening out and not doing something before it's too late.
---
We've been in contact via email, IM, text, webcam and phone and I know nothing compares to in person. Thing is, I love him dearly as a friend (regardless of the fancying part) and don't think I could just cut him out - I do still want to see him, but I know I need to be sure I can trust myself to stay friends.
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (22 December 2009):
 xtwinklex,
You've been in touch with him through what - email, text or phone calls - for several years without ever meeting in person.
The thing is, no matter how much you talk on the phone, you cannot really get to know another person. It's true that you can get to know something about him, but it is very easy to daydream and build a fantasy of what might be.
Perhaps he was put off by you refusing to meet. I know you were apprehensive because of your weight, but, nothing risked, nothing gained. A lot of time has gone by, without any progress - what I'm trying to say is that acting sooner, rather than later (and "sooner" - meeting) just didn't happen.
Not only that, he now has a girlfriend, long-distance, yes, but I'm inclined to think that if you had met him, he might have been very happy to date you. Sorry!
...............................
A
female
reader, xtwinklex +, writes (22 December 2009):
xtwinklex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know, I'm worried I ruined any chances we had by being so darn stubborn in my belief he'd be disappointed in my appearance..so now he's moved on.
Thing is, I've never felt for anyone like I do for him and it's a hard thing to get over. I just didn't want to lead him on, saying I was going to visit then keep not.
...............................
A
female
reader, xtwinklex +, writes (22 December 2009):
xtwinklex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI don't know, I'm worried I ruined any chances we had by being so darn stubborn in my belief he'd be disappointed in my appearance..so now he's moved on.
Thing is, I've never felt for anyone like I do for him and it's a hard thing to get over. I just didn't want to lead him on, saying I was going to visit then keep not.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2009): People are allowed to change their minds about things, and maybe he just wasn't feeling strongly enough for you to feel that a long-distance thing with you would work? I think it'd be a bad idea to see him now, because you KNOW he has a girlfriend, but he still flirts with you? He doesn't sound to take either you or his current girl seriously, and could break your heart if you start to feel for him and try to engage in a relationship.
...............................
|
