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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: At first he asked for space, then he wrote me this after I wrote and told him that I was not handling the break-up well after he had kept blaming me for everything going wrong and wripped me down to shreds. I told him that no one had ever cut me down to the size like that and I needed some answers. This is what he wrote...Im sorry this has come to this. Im not calling you evil or devious, I dont hate you, im not disgusted with you. I just dont want to continue the relationship we had. I never meant to hurt you and thought i could keep things that were festering inside of me at bay and always enjoy our time together but it did not work and as a result i ended up hurting you and myself. Im sorry but now is the time where we need to be strong. IM sorry your not handeling this well. Its not easy but this is my decision and it is what is happening. This sucks but all I ever wanted was truth, and even I was deviating from that by not trusting you and looking at your phone. So I fucked up too. You just need to calm down. please. emailing me everyday and texting me is not helping things. After I broke up with you you expressed that you didnt want this to end. Then you flipped some switch and dug into me about how awful I am and what a peice of shit ...just horrible things were said that night, you cant just flip a switch and make things better and act like these things werent said. Im sorry this is so difficult for you but you need to take some time and be strong please. You just have to respect my decision that we need to be away from each other.Is this really over and will he ever come back??
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male
reader, SamuraiRick  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 He doesn’t exactly make it clear, but what he wants is a break up. So give him the space he needs. This may be temporary, but give it some time. He doesn’t like your sudden change of character and the insults you gave him. I’m sure he’s hurt you too in the same way. If you two are fighting to the point that things are this heated up and he’s telling you he can’t forgive you for the things you said…then you have to understand that this is the end...or the end for now.
I personally never liked fighting with my ex…and when we did get into fights I can surely say she was the instigator. Do you see yourself as the one who started trouble? I’m not saying he’s right and you are to blame…but look at this more closely…ask yourself what you could have done differently, and then adjust and make the changes you think are in order. If he takes you back it will be with time, and you have to prove to him that you have changed on the matters that concerned him. I wish you the best. Write me if you would like to. I am curious on what his big issues were.
A
male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 It is a convincing break-off letter and it sounds final I am sorry to say. You obviously are having problems dealing with this and it's not hard to see why; this whole situation sounds messy and obviously you will be emotionally all over the place. I can understand the need for answers but right now he is not in a position to provide them and you do have to try and begin the process of moving on.
You dont need counselling; having a hard time with rejection especially in these complicated circumstances. You do however somebody to talk too; to start expressing and sorting through these feelings, maybe they can help you find your own answers. Try not to text him as it wont help you or him, although I know this is hard, it doesnt make you a bad person that you want answers and need them for closure. Good luck :)
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A
female
reader, TasteofIndia +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Hey sweetness,
Well, it sounds like things are pretty much over. I doubt he's coming back anytime SOON. If you'd like him back, the best thing you can do at this point is to completely let go of him. You know how that phrase goes: if you love it, set it free. Create your own life and happiness and find someone who wants to be with you. There is someone out there who can fulfill everything you need and who will love you back like crazy. This particular guy was just not the one.
No worries. Be strong and independent.
Good luck, sweetness!
xx India
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (12 February 2008):
 Hi,
sorry to say but that sounds like a pretty convincing break off letter to me.
If you can't see that by reading it I suggest you make an appointment with a counsellor - especially if its true that you are harrassing him. He may get a restraining order taken out on you if you continue. You dont want to suffer that embarrasment.
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