A
female
age
36-40,
*ittle_laura0
writes:I've recently started seeing someone for two weeks. It felt like we relly clicked and had alot in common. We spent alot of time together and opened up about our past to each other, including our past relationships. I found out he is a very insecure person, who has had all 7 ex girlfrinds cheat on him. Last week, i lied about who i was with when going to a night club as i went with lads from work, that way i would stop him worrying. he found out i lied and went through my phone revealing texts between me and my manager. now he says he can't trust me and feels the need to go through my phone all the time and questions where i am and who with. He has been causing arguements on purpose, critcising me for everything, the way i talk, my music taste, the fact i wear nail varnish and make-up.2 days after, i noticed his ex girlfriend had been calling him. i confronted him about this and he said they still talk. A week ago he had said that they hadn't spoken since the break up.Yesterday he tried to break it off with me and said that he's confused and needs his space. I've stopped contacting him but i really miss him and want to make a go of this relationship, even though its only been 2 weeks, i felt like there was a big connection. Is there anything i can do to try and make it work again?
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male
reader, Kawika  +, writes (13 February 2008):
 I can't understand why you would want to be with him. Let him go...you are obviously better without him. He does not respect you. Respect is 1/3 of what a loving relationship needs. I am sure one day you will come across someone who will adore you for the person you are...not what you should be. In the meantime...let him deal with his own insecurities. There are a lot of unfortunate things that happen to us in life. The way we internalize and respond to these things will ultimately reflect our attitude; whether positively or negatively. It's a personal choice. A real man would rise above the occasion. Sorry this is nothing against you...I just hate it when people treat others the way your ex-boyfriend does. Tell him to grow up.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2008): Ok so how long have you knowen this guy? Longer then 2 weeks and you have now started seein or you only met him two weeks ago?
Either way should this guy really have a say in your make up and if you wear nail vanish? No!
You feel like you have to lie to him, Your arguingand
You look at each others phones.
If you haven't got the trust at the start you will never have it.
My advice move on!
Good luck xx
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A
female
reader, sugar_sugar +, writes (13 February 2008):
 Doesn't seem like it's going to work at the moment.
You should have been honest about going out with guys at work, by lying about it you're suggesting you have something to hide.
You're also allowing him to project his past experience into your current relationship.
If he is going through your phone TWO weeks into a relationship he obviously shouldn't be in one!!!
He needs to work out his issues on his own accord if he ever wants a functional relationship again.
The beginning is the easy part of a relationship, if he is already behaving this way then the future does not sound promising in the slightest.
He sounds very controlling, and while I'm sure he has many good qualities if you seriously want this relationship with him to work, allow him time to get some help!
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