A
female
age
36-40,
*mailey2005
writes:Last summer my 22 yr old fiance cheated on me with a 28 yr old whore i say that because she screwed him on a couch with a 4 yr old watching. my fiance and i have a 2 yr old and 5 days after i found out he was cheating i found out i was pregnant again. they started a semi relationship he stayed out with her 3 nights thats it but would hang out with her at nigth after work and then come home to me. he told me he did not love her and when she got pregnant told me he used condoms and it was an accident when she was 16 weeks pregnant (6 weeks behind me btw) she had a miscarriage she hadthem fill out a death certificate and everything and had the remains cremated and that was a little much i know that is not common procudure but she knew he would not stay with her.. i have asked him since the day i found out about her and her wanting to buy a house if when she got one he would move in with her and he always told me know. He was always coming home to me until the woman got a house then he started staying out and telling me he was staying at her house working on his car which i know he is actually doing bc hiscar is crap but when our baby was a week old he started never coming home he leaves all weekend long bc she doesn't work he doesn't call doens't anything and he tells me heloves me and is not sleeping with her and is sleeping on her couch and they have no had sex i want to b e with him i mean we have 2 little girls but why the lies? why tell me he loves me does he want both i gave him until Fathers day to make up his mind but i am s scared he will choose her she knows all about us and doesn't care and i am falling apart the love of my life is out with this whore and i know that bc she has been with 9 guys and that is coming from my "boyfriend" i just don't know what to do anymore i wish he would choose us we have a happy life but some things happened with him he couldn't deal with and i had to be a mom i couldn't run around with him so he could deal we choose to have kids and now i am doing all the work..i just dont know how to get him abck and right now yes i do want him back for now wat do i do?? Who will he choose do you think. we have had 5 yrs her and him 10 months!! come on
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2009): My god...stop ruining your life and DUMP HIM!
Seek your parents' help, friends, whatever you need to be strong in this moment and dump him!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): from a guy...
I know you probably only want to keep him around so your children will have a dad. But you wouldn't want them to learn anything from this guy. His specialty is lying and cheating.
It may take some time and patience, but after you rid yourself of him, then you get to choose a "dad" for the kids. Remember, the children had no say in this so they should not bear the responsibility, you do. J.K. Rowling did okay by herself, before the books and money.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): I seriously am dumbfounded and completely confused.. because I don't understand WHY you are "with" this guy and why you WANT him??!?! Turn your brain on girl.. You know you have to get rid of him. How can you sit around and degrade yourself by waiting on this asshole to choose between you and the woman he cheated with? You gotta have more self respect. And if you can't do that.. if you can't stand up and get rid of this loser for yourself, then at least think about your children. NO WAY would I let this sort of man around my daughter. Children should not be raised around this sort of behavior or around this kind of guy. Some people think it's more important for the kids to have their father there, but honestly: if the father is a lyeing, cheating, lazy scum bag, then it is REALLY best for them to be spending time around him? I don't think so. We all need to eliminate the negative influences in our lives, but especially kids. They are way too easily influenced and the more you're letting this man hurt you, the more you are also letting him hurt your kids. I would rethink your priorities and toss your "bf" out of your life with the exception of making him pay child support. Put your focus on your kids for right now. Get over this guy, and when the time is right, find a new one.
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A
female
reader, asian tealeaf  +, writes (7 June 2009):
 sorry dear. i think u know what needs to be done here. he will reoffend sooner than later, if not with other girls. u can stay and be miserable, for the sake of the kids or break free and make ur family of kids and u happy once more, full of sunshine and brightness in ur life. and smiles.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): You really know what you should do - dump the no good, good for nothing cheating scum.Sorry but truth hurts!
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A
female
reader, SJ_ninety +, writes (7 June 2009):
 This situation sounds a little like mine. However, there were no children involved and we were not married, but we were together for two years and then some slut just had to come and distract my now ex. He cheated on me several times with this woman. I don't see how any woman can think it's okay to BE 'the other woman' and I don't see how men think it's okay to cheat on their girlfriends/fiances/wives. I find it entirely disgraceful and honestly, it just bloody hurts.I would say f**k the ultimatum and go straight to leaving his sorry ass, but you've already set it for him so you should probably follow through with it so it doesn't make you look like the bad guy when it comes to your children. If he does choose you and by some miracle you believe that he will change his ways, try to make it work. It's the least you could do considering there are kids involved. If he chooses the other woman, move on. He obviously does not deserve an incredible woman like yourself.Of course, you have to keep him in your life in some way or another because of your kids, but that doesn't mean making amends will be any easier or if you will even do that in the first place! It's obvious he doesn't know boundaries, so if the new ones you set don't keep him home and faithful to you, you have the absolute right to leave an emotionally destructive relationship. We here on DearCupid trust that you will make the right decisions.Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2009): dump this LOSER guy cheating on you like that, seriously!it makes me sad,i really feel for youxx
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