A
female
age
51-59,
*isey
writes:My husband had an affair January 2006 which went on for 6 months and I found out about it when it finished. We tried to make it work but he lied and cheated again and in Janaruy 2007 he left. He then started seeing her again I really thought it was over but about a month ago we started talking and realised we both still loved each other. Tonight he is finishing with her for good. How can I trust him again, I so want too.
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female
reader, Mariab +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Everybody deserves a chance. What people choose to do with those chances is up to them. This guy it seems believes that he will always have another chance. Thats why he can come and go all the time. So we won't talk about him and his needs... Its you we have to worry about!The hardest thing here is forgiveness. If you can forgive and forget (not live with resentment and fear all the time) then I would recommend trying again. But if you feel that you will constantly be looking over your shoulder then let it go. Its not really about him at this stage, its about finding happiness for yourself. I would go out a lot more and see if its possible to fill the gap that he holds and find out if I really do want/need him in my life. Good luck hun just remember you deserve to be happy with someone you trust. x
A
female
reader, pooh69  +, writes (16 November 2007):
 Its worth a try, changes do come they don't come easy but they do come . I was in the same boat as u I forgave my husband 3 times , he gave me his word that he will never do it again.its been 4months and things have been better than ever b4. Follow ur heart.
P.s take care of ur man any means nesccery if u don't someone else will !!!!!!!
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (15 November 2007):
 Hi there,
I think sometimes relationships go wrong, and can break down completly, but there's nothing to say they can't be rebuilt.
I feel that when trust has been broken and a partner has been unfaithful that the forgiving is sometimes much easier than the forgetting......
If you are considering giving this relationship another chance, firstly you must make sure you know everything you want to know with regard to how the relationship faultered in the first place. What made your partner feel the need to cheat, if it was the only time and whether or not he feels there is the chance it will happen again. To feel secure you will need assurance that you will not have to go through the same heartache again.
Take things slowly, trust takes time to build, but you will need to trust your partner again for the relationship to repair. Water will have gone under the bridge by now and it is a different relationship you are trying to build, it will have changed, as no doubt you and your partner will have to some degree.
Don't feel guilty if you want to rebuild this relationship, it doesn't matter what others think, just make sure you talk your feelings through with your partner, try and put the past behind you and start afresh. For your own good, make sure your partner understands that this is his last chance and that if it ever happened again you would never look back. Say it and mean it! You will at some point need to close that chapter in your life, no point throwing it in his face everytime you argue. You will never forget his infidelity, but to go on you will need to put it all behind you.
I would add though that if this was not the only affair he's had and it has happened before, don't waste your time, chances are he will stray again, some men can't help themselves....
Good luck and keep us posted.x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): You CAN'T trust him again. I bet you a million dollars he will cheat on you again and leave you again. He likes this girl enough to leave you for her. The only reason he came back is because they probably had a fight and since he can't be alone for one second, he knows that you will take him back at the drop of a heartbeat, so he came back to you. You are his backup.
He really is a jerk. This is all going to come back to him. I mean you don't use people like that and take advantage of people's weaknesses the way that he is taking advantage of your availability. You just don't do that. He should just be upfront with you. But he is not. He would rather lie to you and give you false hope. Cause that's all it is, false hope.
As for you, you can either forgive him and be with him for as long as it takes him to reconcile with the other woman and leave you again. Or you could try to find some dignity within you and kick him out forever and move on with your life with your head held high.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (15 November 2007):
 He cheated on you once, then he cheated on you a second time, so what makes you think he is not going to do it a third time. You say tonight he is finishing with her for good, but is he?. Is he just saying its over to keep you sweet like he did on the other two occasions. I just think once a cheater always a cheater, it will always be on his mind to do it again. As for trusting him again, well most people would draw the line at being cheated on once, but twice, well it speaks for itself. Personally i don't see how you can trust him again, or if he is telling you the truth, and it is going to be constantly on your mind when he is away. If you are strong enough to cope with it then good luck to you, and i really do hope you do not find out he has cheated on you a third time, for if you do you should most certainly out him.
All the best x
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A
female
reader, lilgirly  +, writes (15 November 2007):
 hey,
i think people have to learn from there mistakes ,didn't you learn from yours?he has cheatted on you twice and played with you to get you back!
we all love someone who turns out to be such a loser! but that doesn't mean that we have to let him play with our feelings!
and if you are thinking about getting back with him don't until you are sure that he loves you and won't do it again( i doubt that). good luck.
byeXXX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2007): First of all, once a cheater, always a cheater. How can you really know for sure that he is finished with her? Can you trust him that much????
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