| A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Yesterday I found out that my ex cheated on me last Thursday. He said nothing, he made me believe we were fine. But a friend told me he saw my ex with another girl. One of his slut friends... you know, the typical girl who hooks up with all guys in her group, who hooks up with guys she knows have girlfriends (like she knew my ex was dating ME)... but most of all, what makes me feel the worst.... is that she's typically hot, and I feel so ugly and gross!!!! She's gorgeous, big boobs, etc. My face is ugly, I have thin hair, small boobs and thick thighs. I HATE HOW I LOOK! And now even more! :( Especially because I always knew he preferred big boobs. I know that's not why he cheated on me, he cheated on me 'cause he's an insecure d-bag. But still, I feel so gross and disempowered. The problem is he denied everything, but several of my friends saw him. I was always a good, faithful and selfless girlfriend. He always doubted of my fidelity, but I was SO FAITHFUL! Why do these things happen to good people like me? I am smart, nice, kind, faithful, sweet... of course I'm not perfect, but I'm great inside... but this makes me feel like the inside doesn't really matter. It doesn't. So what if I'm smart and faithful? In the end it means nothing because well... it got me nowhere with him.I hate myself. I feel destroyed and gross. I never want to date again!I want to feel pretty again, at least. I don't know how to do that. I can't stop comparing myself to the girl he cheated on me with. It also doesn't help that lately he'd started watching porn again, which also makes me feel so ugly and gross. How can I feel pretty even though I'm really far from being "typically hot"? I feel so down. So, so sad and devastated.
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female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 Gosh, he sounds swell. Cheats, lies, hits his friends. I can see why he's such a catch.
You are basing your self esteem on losing a loser like that?
SERIOUSLY?
You need to respect yourself. This has NOTHING to do with your looks or being attractive to anyone else. If you were Angelina Jolie - this guy would still be an asshole.
Don't date guys who disrespect you, and the only person allowing that is YOU because you are not demanding them to respect you. Stop whinging about this ex - he's a loser.
Take a break from dating and do something POSITIVE besides dwelling on the break up. Out of shape? Work out. Don't like your looks? Get a make over. Lousy job? Get a new one or go back to school. Lousy ex? Get a new one who will treat you right.
Whine and he wins.
Living Well is the best revenge.
Go get 'em Sweetness.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 July 2011): just leave him and let him go. think about stds. you dont want to risk getting sick. its not worth it. there is more men in the world, nicer ones who wont cheat.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2011): OK this is what happened, on Monday I broke up with my now ex because he started complaining about my past, telling me I'm not trustworthy and that I've probably cheated on him (ironic, huh?). I dumped him because it's been years that he's accused me of cheating when I never cheated nor intended to cheat on him. Later that day I ran into a male friend who was the one who told me he'd seen my then boyfriend with some slut on Thursday. He said several other friends saw that too, but I haven't spoken to them yet. They have no reason to lie to me.I haven't asked my ex about it because I know that he will call my friends liars and will probably go after them insulting them and maybe even hitting them. He'll deny everything, he's that kind of guy, my friends' words have no weight to him, even if my friends are right. Unless I get proof from someone other than my friends, he'll just deny everything, so I can't really confront him with no evidence. 'Cause he'll deny everything.I just feel so damn ugly.
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums +, writes (20 July 2011):
"Yesterday I found out that my ex cheated on me last Thursday. He said nothing, he made me believe we were fine. But a friend told me he saw my ex with another girl."
I'm thinking that you don't know the truth because you haven't talked with him about it and you only have your friends word on what she saw - and she could be right... Or... she could be wrong about that. She could even be not telling the truth or shit-disturbing, stranger things have happened between girlfriends and all you have now is what she said - not what he said. Go talk it out with your boyfriend until you know exactly what happened.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 July 2011):
I'm not sure I understand this - How long has your boyfriend been a ex boyfriend?
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