A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of one year and three months just broke up with me because I tried to discuss my feelings.He has a past of cheating with me and after the incidents it left us with the problem of me not being able to trust him, that was back in September and since then I thought we were moving on, but then around two months back the signs started coming back that he was cheating, strange text messages/phone calls, so instead of just sitting there I decided to tell him about how I felt.The moment I said it, he said 'maybe we should just break up then' and I said 'are you dumping me..' and he said 'Yeah'So I feel like basically a year and three months of my life has gone down the drain. he said we were going to 'see how things go' and he will see me soon, but now im wondering, is there a point? I love him so much and I do want to be with him but after he said he was leaving me he refused to talk abut it. He said he needed to think and I asked him about what, and he said he didnt know? Is this just an excuse?How do I deal with this I feel totally heartbroken
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 June 2009): I went through this a couple months back except, the relationship I was involved in was a little over 2 years. After I caught an extremely disrespectful video in his phone he dumped me. Even though I had already forgiven him for cheating on me several times with four (thats all he admitted to) other women. I forgave him, so I thought and chose to take him back although I had suspicions that it was more than a yr ago. Sure enough that video confirmed everything. Shockingly enough I wanted to take him bk even after that. I thought that I would never want him if i ever found out it was more than a yr ago, but I was bullshiting myself. Love is not black and white. However I have learned so much. It still hurts even though its been a lil over 4 months, but it has help me evolve so much with songwriting etc. Everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that his purpose in my life was to break my heart to show how vulnerable I was and lead me on a path to greatness.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2009): oh!
Preety lady ,dont be upset,if he dosent care or he dosent allow you to discuss about the thing ,than you should think that he is not your type,love means to take and to give and to listen everything and to take out solution,u dont care or think about him because he dosent care u.U know that when u clap both hand should use only one hand cannot be clapped.So in love both should be understanding and both should share every thing they should be like a mirror,ok.But in your case .....dont be upset forget it as a bad dream and start a new day its waiting for you see around u there might be someone searching for u....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009):
IMO...
he is a stupid worthless shallow selfish insecure (yes selfish and insecure are actually very closely related)hateful pricky heartless loser who doesnt deserve you in the slightest and you should be glad to be rid of him.
right now you might feel that you loved him- but later you will come to realise that what you do love- is the idea and feeling of being loved (in a relationship) which you associated with him and thats why you 'love' him even though he CHEATED ON YOU and BROKE UP WITH YOu when you tried to DISCUSS YOUR FEELINGS- which every person SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO with their partner.
Don't waste your thoughts and emotions on him. Don't even hate him- take a moment to feel sorry for yourself and heavily regret and resent him- and then MOVE ON its the worst thing ever to hold grudges- and if you do, you will just make life sad for yourself.
Talk about him with your friends. Your parents too- if you can. Have a 'getting over my stupid worthless cheating dumping ex' party. have a 'now im free and am not dating that pathetic cheating loser' anymore.
Enjoy FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF- but in a GOOD, POSITIVE, BENEFICIAL way.
Treat yourself- you have just had to deal with this horrible pathetic creep who treated you horribly by cheating on you and not caring about your feelings and dumping you so unfairly and breaking your heart- you DEFINITELY deserve some some GOOD TREATMENT.
Relax with friends, go out with friends, give yourself a spa, eat GOOD FOOD, play fun sports, get involved in things- take up extra curricular activities that you would find fun and you can gain skill from- e.g. dancing, drama, a sport, a youth group, an animal rights club, karate, chess... (whatever floats your boat)
go to parties, out with friends- that's important spend more time with your friend-
meet a new guy- one that isn't pathetic enough to cheat and will truly love you and make you happy :)
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A
female
reader, gemmaxx09 +, writes (21 May 2009):
 i know how u feel to be heart broken, its the worst feeling in the world, my ex deeply hurt me, after being with him for a year, his parents didnt like me so they told him to end it and he txtd me one day saying we have different views and its over, my whole world fell apart, the only thing tht will heal it is time, tbh im still hurt over it 4months later, i kno he didnt cheat but he still lied to me for wks, actually god knos if he did ill never find out, but ull will be ok, its still very fresh, just be around ur friends and family for support, its easier said than done tho i know,
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): You are bound to feel sad about the breakup but you were not happy with the relationship because of the cheating. Congratulate yourself that you were brave enough to bring up the topic. If the man isn't willing to consider your feelings and stop cheating then he isn't worth your love. You haven't wasted your time because you have learned from the experience and this will help you think again before getting involved with another cheat or anyone else who doesn't consider your feelings. There will be someone better out there for you and now you have the opportunity to meet them.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): well id say let him go (oh and don't be surprised if he comes sniffing back), i hope you are over him enough to say 'get lost' when that time comes. Because if he loved you he would not have cheated.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2009): Hi,
Consider yoursel blessed. He wants to break up now, not later. He sounds like a real jerk to me and the cheaters usually never get cured unless they really regret what they did and want to be good. So, waste of 1 year and 3 months in MUCH BETTER than wasting your entire life with this person. I know it must be very very hard, specially since you love him a lot. but believe me, it will get better with time and soon you will thank yourself for taking the best decision. Let go. And concentrate on yourself, rather than the relationship. You desrve to be happy and deserve the best as much as any other person in this world.
I did not listen to my heart when my boyfriend had strange text messages, phone calls and photos in the computer. He is now my husband and continue to do the same, not even 6 months in to our marriage. I live a life of pain and regret and have the feeling that I made a wrong decision. I wasted 9 years with him and now its too late. He does not let me talk about my feelings. he has an excuse for everything he does. All his acts are justified. If you knew what I was going through, feeling so low, it would be so much easier for you to make a decision.
Don't settle yourself for a cheater. You desrve to be loved and respected. And you desrve to feel your partner is only yours.
God bless you and make you feel happy.
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A
female
reader, niki20  +, writes (21 May 2009):
 ok, move on. hes not worth it, you try and talk about your feelings and he dumps you? thats not a relationship. he doesnt want to be w/ you if hes cheating,but thats my opinion. what makes you not good enough for him? you deserve the respect you give. dont put up w/this. you dont need this. i think that you should find a man that treats you w/ respect and dignity. this could be an on going thing if you guys do decide to get back together. what will it be like if you guys decide to get married?? will you ever be able to trust him? hes does sound like he is making up excuses. thats not right. you need to find someone who you can trust but give it time and dont get right back out and date. he seems like a mean person. find someone who makes you happy and makes you smile,
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A
male
reader, GrimmReality +, writes (21 May 2009):
 Oh young lady,
It always takes the heart time to catch up with our heads. they always tell us it's a mistake, or just one time...but you've already heard that.....
Please go out and find someone that cares enough to be faithful. There is simply no excuse for it and you are doing yourself a huge injustice by remaining with this tool. No one deserves to be cheated on and then made to feel like you are at his behest. why subject yourself to these feelings any longer?
You may think you'll never get over him, but you will. It may take awhile, but it will happen
This guy has some nerve. trying to dictate to you! Get away from him and let him screw up someone else's life! You'll be glad you did!
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