A
female
age
41-50,
*gm
writes:Hi I am married for 11 yrs and my husband cheated.I gave him 2nd chance but he decided to leave again. After 6 months he came back and wants another chance. I told him about divorce and suddenly he wants another chance. What is yr advice???
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Have him go into therapy/counseling and when he has made some improvement... if you are interested... go to couples counseling. He needs to get his crap together and I'd let him know that...
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): Are their children involved?
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A
male
reader, TimmD +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Divorce.
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A
male
reader, steph007  +, writes (28 December 2010):
Always forgiving.
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A
female
reader, AuntyMaur  +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Ask yourself - what do you want ? do you want to live the rest of your married life sharing him with others? Should you always be the one waiting around for him to decide wether he wants to stay leave come back- piss him off you deserve more.
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A
female
reader, xanthic +, writes (28 December 2010):
 I agree with the others, how do you know he didn't come crawling back because he was dumped? I don't believe cheaters deserve a second chance, and definitely not a third or fourth. He cheated on you and was taken back in spite of that, which means he'll probably do it again thinking you'll stick around no matter what he does.Lose him, find someone else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2010): I would ask him why he deserves another chance. I would really ask him what does he get out of the marriage? Marriage is about respect, about love, about a bond between a man and woman, to talk things through and to be there for each other through thick and thin. Now when I say thick and thin, I mean when you have problems, you don't go out and have an affair with someone else...you talk it out and work it out. What happens if you do take him back and then he goes off on a limb and says some expletive and decides he wants out and has an affair with some passing fancy only to do his deed and come back to you because you are steady and willing and you love him because you are the woman he married? Can you see yourself with this guy in the next five years still together and him having his affairs? Does he make a wonderful husband? Is he your best friend? Does he love you for who you are? Put your foot down and tell him that you are sick and tired of his shenanigans. You deserve a man who deserves the title "Husband". What do you think the job of a "Husband" entails? Are you tired of what he's doing to you? YOu must be considering otherwise. If you decide to go through with divorce, then stand your ground. Believe in yourself and thinka about where YOU want to be in the next 5 years. What do you want for yourself? Think about it....
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 December 2010):
 Jonas is right on the money! I was going to say that he was being dumped by the other woman!Don't let him come crawling back to you as his "backup plan". The trust is destroyed. He now has a taste for cheating, and the damage is pretty irreverseable now.You need to find a new guy to establish trust with, as trust is an irreplaceable part in a relationship.
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A
female
reader, Tutti  +, writes (28 December 2010):
I am in the same boat as you. My husband cheated on me 2 weeks after we got married and I gave him another chance. It has barely been 8 months later and he is treating me like dirt, going out with his friends on date nights and not doing a single thing to earn a place in my life.I am not suing for divorce because this man obviously takes me for granted and from what I can read, yours is doing the same, too. Gone are those days when we had to "stick it out". I don't see too many men doing the same.God wants you to have joy in your life. If he does not bring you joy, let him go. It will be hard, no doubt, but you won't be opening yourself up to any more hard break from your husband.The fact that you did not cheat once on him in retaliation makes you precious. Don't be a hard rock when you really are a gem. Respect is just a minimum - your man does not deserve you.Move on.
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