A
female
age
41-50,
*sma_asd
writes:Dear CupidI am in love with a guy younger to me by 3 years. We are together for 1 year. I am crazy about him and he says he feels the same way. So i brought about marriage few days ago and he says he cannot marry me since his parents wont accept me. The reasons he says is 1. i am elder to him 2. i am an divorcee. 3. Not of same caste as his.I asked him to give it a try and talk to his parents and try to convince them, he doesnt want to do that. He says he is going to marry a girl of his parents choice and says i can be with him till he gets married or else he can break up with me now itself. Someone please advice about what i should do. I am really really crazy about this guy. Please someone help me. Feeling very depressed
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (5 November 2010):
Im sorry to hear you feel like that. Give yourself time to heal and then maybe in the future you can meet someone new. I do not think he is using you. Now that you say you are from India I guess maybe he does not really have a choice. I wish things were different for you. Try to enjoy life soon. It is precious.
A
female
reader, asma_asd +, writes (5 November 2010):
asma_asd is verified as being by the original poster of the question Dear Cupid
Thanks for your answers. Even though i know that he uses me, i couldnt stop him doing so. Its like i am addicted to him. I am so scared to be alone all my life. In India its not that easy for an divorcee to get married again.
I am too scared to die old without anyone to share my life with. I really wish i could die now so i dont need to experience anything anymore. I dont have the guts to end my life, so i am praying everyday that ill have a natural death soon.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): he's using you.. he prolly does not want be to alone.. so he wants to be with you in the mean time.....
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 I agree with the others...this guy does not respect you. If he WANTED to marry you, he would have convinced his parents in every possible way, but if he doesn't want it, then, he wont. Its as simple as that. He wants to have all the fun he can and then just be a good Indian boy and marry the girl his parents choose for him...someone younger, who fits the bill. Where does that leave you? Absolutely nowhere.
You have to be very strong and leave this man. Sure it'l hurt now, but think of how much more it'l hurt in the long run if this continues and you keep getting more and more involved, and then maybe 2 yrs down the line he suddenly dumps you and decides to move on with his life.
Leave with your head held high and with your dignity intact. You dont want to cry over a creep who doesn't honestly give a damn about you. How dare he say that either you be with him till he gets married or you leave him now? Thats unbelievable!! Trust me honey...the spineless not worth it. Call the shots. Dump him. You deserve SO MUCH BETTER!!
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A
female
reader, ClassyWoman  +, writes (4 November 2010):
Oh I feel for you. You are in love with this man and he is being so cruel to you.I am sorry but I think he is using you but probably does love you but obviously not enough. What is dissappointing is he let you into his life knowing full well he was to marry another. That tells me he is very selfish and is only thinking about himself. You sound like a lovely person and it is usually these types that give the most and get nothing back. Your self esteem must be low to let him do this to you.Honey move on and do it fast, Keep your self respect and walk away.There are lots of nice honest men out there and you will find one soon.
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A
female
reader, PatientlyWaiting1 +, writes (4 November 2010):
You may hurt worse in the future so maybe you should leave now. He is being honest. If you want to take a chance then stick around.
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A
female
reader, juicy lucy  +, writes (4 November 2010):
If i were you i would dump this guy now! i know its hard but he is being really heartless, he has told you he will stay with you until he meets another girl?! This guy has got no respect, he has already told you that he is going to marry a girl of his parents choice.
I know its really hard to leave him , but staying in this relationship is just a dead end, and the longer you stay with him, the harder its going to be to leave him, you need to walk away now with your head held high, obviously he does not deserve you, dont waste another minute of your precious time on him.
I wish there was more i could say but that is really all you can do, i really do feel what you must be going through, but remember there are people out there who will appreciate you and treat you with respect, you deserve so much more than this treatment, i wish you all the best :)
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Yeah, if he can't make his own choices about who he is going to marry by the age of at least 23, you're better off without him.
Listen, it's not his parents who are at fault. *HE* does not respect you. It's HIS choice to look down on your caste, divorcee status, and age. How do I know this? He has the audacity to tell you that you can stay with him until he marries someone else?? What a crock! He wants to have sex with you and use you until he finds someone he respects.
If that doesn't piss you off enough to drop him like a rock, I don't know what will. Make no mistake - he does NOT deserve you.
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