A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My man who has been living with me for 11 months is a bit different from your regular guy. He loves shopping, furniture,shoes,bags,womens underwear and clothes. He is always saying oh that would look good on you or you should buy this....... His own daughter calls him gay!! In the bedroom he is not so good. I do not think he actually comes, like ever. He almost seems to be in pain when we do it.... He is on medication - prednisone for his health problems and he says this is what causes the problems in the bedroom. He is very affectionate, holds my hand and cuddles me heaps but never seems to want to go that extra step. I find myself getting upset and frustrated and he does not seem to understand how hard it is for me too. He is happy just cuddling but I want more.I love him and I know he loves me but...today I asked him if he was being honest with who he really is and he exploded..Our relationship is falling apart because of the lack of action in the bedroom but why does he make me feel like I should get over it.He has admitted there have been complaints before but he does not think we should allow this problem to ruin an otherwise great relationship.
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male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 Its hard to say what to exactly do to get around the medication. Maybe you can try other things besides sex to keep things going until there is a way to make you both comfortable with sex.
As for the gay part I wouldn't say gay at all. I love to shop and and I'm always getting my gf to try things on, mostly dresses. He was probably always a more sensitive guy and I can imagine having a daughter would make you a more sensitive person especially because I don't know the situation with her mom. He sounds like the type of guy who would be willing to work with you to make sure that your happy once you sit down and talk to him. Just try to be nice I'm sure he wants it but it might just have been painful for so long that he is almost fearful of it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2010): Have you tried dressing sexy for him? Maybe buy some lingerie and model them for him, I think that would turn on a lot of men ;) just an idea...
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A
female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (4 November 2010):
 He is right about the prednisone, it causes weak muscles, decreased sexual desire, and extreme tiredness...Just because he likes shopping and he sucks in bed doesn't classify him as gay. So it's not fair to make that assumption, you'd need more evidence.
Now, a healthy, satisfying is impertinent to a relationship. If your sex life is less than pleasing then of course you're going to experience problems in your relationship. You can put your heads together and come up with a solution to better your sex life, maybe introduce more spice, maybe the doctors can take him off the prednisone or lower his dosage and intake...Although if it's really that hopeless and he doesn't seem to care to work at it then I would break it off because you're not sexually compatible.
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