A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:In a month me and my boyfriend would have been coming up on our two year anniversary. I found out he was lying to me about basic things, so I got friends involved and they did a little intervention. He admitted to them that he has thought about other people sexually when he told me he wasn't, I broke down crying in the next room, cause I feel like I've been living a lie, almost like a fantasy world. We've talked about a future together, and they're trying to tell me we cant just be each other's first and not want to experiment, or we'd both just be old and miserable. I cant stand even the thought of him doing anything sexually with another person, and they're telling me it's normal. He broke up with me saying He couldn't give me what I want, and that he does want to experiment when just the night before he swore to me he would never let go. I cant eat, I cant sleep, We've both become each others lives. I'm being torn apart from the inside cause this just might be the final break up, but why would someone do that when they said the night before that they do indeed want to spend the rest of their life with you. I don't know what to do. It's hard to do nothing, knowing that he would have tried to save us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): As you get older you ger wiser.Your past relationships will help you in your next relationship. When you go through bad things it teaches us what to look for or different in the next man. It took me five years to get over my ex, so no doubt it will take a long time to get over him. Lose his number and tell him you dont want to see him no more. Because he is going to hurt you over and over. Let go baby girl.
A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 this guy obviously doesnt understand wat it is to be in love with someone. he cant understand that sex is just sex whereas sex with a loved one is the best you'll ever have. he is probably too young and to immature to commit to you properly and you have to let go of him. you deserve someone that will commit to you and know that wat they have with you is more important than random sexual encounters. he says he wants to experiment - he could have done that with you and it probably would have been better - but he has made his decision and now he must go out on his own looking for sex!! move on honey - your better than this, xxx
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): I don't understand how someone can tell you to your face that they love you, and refuse to let go. But then tell you the past few break ups dated you out of pity, and now as the end result he's not talking to me.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): this would have become an issue eventually whether you had intervened or not. he obviously is childish and not ready for committment. as donna said love is hard to come by- sex is not and if he's willing to give you up for some casual sex then you deserve better. that might not make you feel great now but in time you will believe it and you'll find someone else to love, someone with a mature and committed attitude
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): You should not be regreful of making a big fuss about something that affects your life. Perhaps you wish you hadn't said anything so it would not have come to a head. But it would have anyway. If he wants to date other people so that he can have sex with them why would you do "anything" for him? He will not respect you if you make yourself a martyr. Tough love, self respect, this wins love wars.
When I was young I had a boyfriend who still now regards me as the love of his life, but he lost me because he had to have sex with other women. It hurt more than I can say at the time because I loved him dearly. In fact, I forgave him a couple of times until the betrayal just got too much. I had an awful time trusting anyone later, I let myself get betrayed later again in fact, and I still carry the scar. Protect yourself and your mental wellbeing against this damage if you can.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): He said he only wants to have sex with someone he's dating, I want to make this work with all my heart, I'm prepared to give anything for this person, and he put up with a lot from my side too. We both wanted a future together, but now he's saying after talking with our friend that he cant see himself with me in 10 years. I just want him to be happy, I really do, and I regret making such a big fuss about it, but who would want to see the love of their life having sex with another person.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): Sweetheart, I know exactly how you feel but there is nothing you can do about this. He is too young to settle down, too young to know the value of love. Sexual encounters mean nothing, they are an itch that must be scatched and if it is more important to him to do that than be with you, you are going to have to let him go. Don't think it is to do with you, it is not. Whoever he was with would be facing the same. He will regret it, but by then you will meet someone who is not so greedy, perhaps someone who has been hurt or who has a little mileage under their belt which makes them see your value and worth. When you find someone else you will probably make him feel jealous and he will want you back - think very carefully because this does not mean he is converted, just possessive. It is likely to take him a couple of years or more to mature. If you use reverse psychology and "agree" with him that actually you would like more experience with other boys you may get an interesting reaction. Perhaps you should say that you don't think he is right for you, let him know he is not coming up to scratch anymore.Perhaps not straight away but when he sees you out and about he will get jealous. Don't let him think you will wait for him. Take some satisfaction from seeing what happens but do not take him back. Let him know that he is not good enough for you and show him that you are making choices. I know it hurts very much but he is making you very unhappy. You need someone who would not hurt a hair on your head, you do not need a sexual spend-thrift.
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female
reader, BEEN THERE DONE IT  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hi there hun,
This is hard for you I know especially as you love him so much....You need to talk to him babes, tell him you love him so much and how much all of this is hurting you, if he still feels he needs to experiment like you say then you have to let go, I know this is going to be hard for you but you can't stop some one doing what they really want to do....
All I can say is you can get sex anywhere but love is hard to find he will be silly to loose you all because he is wondering what it would be like with some one else.....
Hope this has helped you in some way babes,
Take care
Love Donna xx
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A
female
reader, angel of love  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 well to sleep with only one person for your whole life happens only in movies...people need choices and they need to know if what they have is real...he may want to spend the rest of his life with you but he needs the proof that he only wants you...because if he really loves you and only you sleeping with other people won't mean a thing...while he is in bed with them you will be the only person in his mind...he may think you're it for him but there is only one way to be sure...just give him the space he needs so he can find himself and know what he really wants...like an old friend once told me, if you love someone than let them go, if they come back to you it was meant to be if not then you are better off without them...you only have one true love and when the time is right they will reveal themselves to you...take care and good luck! always here, ~*ANGEL OF LOVE*~
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female
reader, down to earth +, writes (16 July 2007):
 well your boyfriend seems very confused,it sounds like he really wants to be with you and not being rude but you were his first right i think he really does love you but maybe you should let him experiment with someone else if that is what he really wants.he said he wants to spend the rest of his life with you so i think instead of him cheating on you let him go and in time he will come back to you and at least you can have a little break get back 2 me and tell me what happens just (sit down and tell him maybe he should experiment with someone else instead of you hurting me even more by cheating) MAKESURE YOU WRITE BACK GD LUCK HUN
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