A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know what to do about my boyfriend. we always have disagreements because if he's stressed or had a bad day he gets really supicious. I don't know if this is because of his depression or his personality.he knows i'm not the type of girl who would cheat on him and i've told him this a million times. i've never done anything wrong in terms of cheating in the 10 months that we've been dating. Yesturday i called him when i got home from work as i always do. i don't usually work on sunday but i have the last 2 sundays to get some extra money for my holiday. I told my boyfriend i also had to work on wed now because my boss absolutly begged me beause he had no one else to work. my boss is gay, he has told me this and shown me pictures of his boyfriends and i don't mean to be stereotypical but anyone would know he was gay just by meeting him.My boyfriend started accusing me of things 'why do u want to work more?', 'whats at work?', 'is there someone else at work?', 'is that why you've been working extra sundays? and then heres the ridiculous ' is (my boss's name) really gay?'.my boyfriend works at the same place as me. my boss is also his boss and he knows why i was working some extra sundays. He says he trusts me but i don't see how he can. We always sort these thing out afterwards because my boyfriend realises he's being silly but it always gets me down and sometimes i get upset. it's becoming a regular thing if i do anything that breaks the routine ( i usually see him on a wed). What can i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): your boyfriend is childish and insecure. you can't change that. he needs to change that for himself and then he'll see that you are trustworthy and honest, and its all in his head. explain to him that his insecurity is getting in the way of your relationship and he has to work on it. hopefully he will agree but make sure he follows through with it
A
male
reader, JonHD +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Looking at this from a boys point of view and haveing been in this situation myself recently where i was being suspicious of my former love. It is nothing unsual for him to act this suspicious, it can prove tiresome and frustrating at times but its a normal thing in men to become protective of their partners, much like a lion would guard his lioness from other preying hormonic lions.
If he acts to this extent then you can saftley say he does care for you and great deal, if he didnt act this jelous and suspicious then you would proberly have a bigger problem. You will find most boys will grow out of it in time when they feel more comftable with being with their partner.
My advice would be to show him some more attention, the usual text during work to show your thinking about him, an 'I miss you' email, or even just throwing down a few more kisses at the end of any text or message. Little things, give too much however and while it is true this will help him he would become doubley suspicious if for whatever reason you missed a day out.
Give him time, men are much like women in the sense they hate the thought of others clawing at their partner. He does trust you, but there is a diffrence between trust and suspicion since even the happiest couple will be suspicous of their partner at some point. Dont doubt its becuase of his lack of trust, but rather as his feeling jelous, which means he thinks of you as a very attractive girl to be in that deep of a state.
Take care
Jon
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): Hi - I am like this with my boyfriend (perhaps not so obsessive) but I still always fear the worst. I have been very let down in the past and lied to. It can take a very long time to trust again. Talking things through calmly is essential so there is no blame involved. If you are as open and honest as you can be you can do no more - invite him out with your friends, let him borrow your phone, keep communicating so nothing is left unsaid. If your boyfriend is anything like me his mind will work overtime and he will start imaginging scenarios in his head that haven't even happened - just in case they do, so he is prepared for it. Hang on in there and provide 150% more support than you think he needs - it sounds as if you care about him and that you want it to work.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Hey sweetie,
All couples fall out at some point. Me and my partner can go without falling out then he'll have a bad day at work or my hormones will kick in then all we seem to do is argue.
If you think your boyfriend is depressed maybe he should see a doctor or talk to someone.
Your boyfriend sounds like he has a low self esteem, especially when it comes to you being with him. Maybe he can't see why someone like you would be with someone like him and gets suspicious because he thinks one day you'll find someone "better".
You need to sit down with your guy and get him to explain why he asks all these questions, especially seen as he works in the same place.
xxxxxxxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, angel of love  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 well honestly there isnt much to do...he's either really sensitive at the moment or he is second guessing himself...he probably knows that you are really speacial and important that he doesn't want anything to mess up his alone time with you...even if its work...the way he is is just him being a guy...but if it gets too out of hand just sit him down and ask him what is really bothering him...because situations like yours usually happen when there is an even bigger problem that he's dealing with and the littlest things can get him to be on alert alot...so just take a deep breath and talk it out...i hope i helped in some way...a friend that's always here, ~*ANGEL OF LOVE*~
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