A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi, there is this girl that i am currently goin out with and i want to break up with her without hurting her and i really dont kno how. please help! Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2008): Hi,
I've been in relationship with this girl for 5 years. I quit my good job to be with her.When i felt in love with her, she never told me about her son.She likes to lie and fantasize a lot about herself.I am upset with her parents because her mum thinks her dad is flirting with me.I am tired of the extra baggages.I wanted to break off several times but did not have the heart to.I am suffering in this relationship as i always have to follow what she says.Now she's diagnosed with cancer.I can't continue my life with her anymore as i don't love her, i'm staying out of pity.How do i break up gently but still be a distant friend of her.I don't want to get involve with her family anymore.Please help.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2008): look mate i now how u feel
to tell u the truth it is not going to end up nicly witch ever way u look at it but who cares u dont like her tell the bitch to start walking coz ur single and make sure u make the most of it lol
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2008): be honest with your true feelings, she may be hurt in the long run, but if you tell her that you're sorry and that you still want her as a friend, i'm sure she'll understand. never e-mail it to her, text message it to her or have one of your friends because for one, it would hurt her if it did not come from you in person, and two, it would hurt her even more because she would think you are lying. be sincere and honest, tell her that you still want you guys to stay friends and hope everything for the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 July 2007): Agreed with the others..breaking up is rarely easy. Dating teens break up everyday on this planet and each situation is unique. Don';t be fake if inmsincere, whatever you do. Just be honest. You both are so young and you both need to date others. You both will go through numerous future relationships before you reach adulthood. And you should!
That is how you gain confidence and learn about love and relationships. So try to break up nicely and maturely so that you can both move on with your lives and find someone else better suited for you. A relationship really needs two people caring, so if one of you doesn't want to be in the relationship any more, it really makes sense for 'both' of you to end it. That's the message to get across to her.
Do this somewhere private and quiet. Never break up over the phone or via email, that's cowardly and unfair. Any kind of relationship is based on trust and dependability - don't prove you're unworthy of that in the final hour. Sit down and explain it's not going to work. If your gf has questions, answer them as fairly as you can, but without going into any blame-finding. There is always fault on both sides in a relationship that fails. Breaking up is more about you both being able to find "closure" to this relationship so you are able to then move on to new experiences. So..be strong and end this cleanly. Take a positive attitude and look back on your time together as an enjoyable experiment which just didn't work out the way you'd originally hoped. There is no easy to break up with a gf..just remember to be kind.. and use compassion. The sooner you do it...the sooner she can heal from this and move on with her life. Good luck to you both
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A
female
reader, Straight Up  +, writes (18 July 2007):
 As some of the other writers have said there’s not such thing as an easy break up unless the other person isn’t really interested or it’s both parties decision just be sensitive about. Think of it like this how would you want someone to break up with even though that’s not a nice thought
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (16 July 2007):
 there is no such thing!! any break up is tough and hurtful for both parties but it would be more hurtful to her if you led her on and made her think that everything was ok! tell her gently and give her your reason - she deserves a good reason and to walk away knowing why you broke up. there is no easy way to this but by all means do it face to face not any other way!! good luck, and dont feel too bad, break ups happen every day xxx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): If she really does have feelings for you then it's impossible to break up with her without hurting her. You didn't give a reason as to why you want to break up with her. Anyway if you going to do it face-to-face (which is always said to be the best way to dump someone) tell her kind but firm something in the words of 'i don't think this relationship is working out so i think that it's best for us to break up'. That's much better than putting all fault on her.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007): well you can't break up with her without hurting her but its better not to lead her on. staying with her would make it worse in the end. it will be ok- it happens to us all and she'll get over it. just be honest but tactful.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (16 July 2007):
 Its better that you tell her now rather than later, the longer you leave it the harder it wil get. Sure she will be upset, but its better that you tell her how you feel rather than lead her on and give her false hope. Just sit her down and tell her you think you should break up, but in a tactful and polite manner. Do this and you will feel better in yourself for being upfront and honest.
All the best
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (16 July 2007):
 All you can do is sit down with her and tell her you don't want to be with her anymore. I can't guarentee it wont hurt her but it will be a damn sight better then doing it through email/text/phone etc.
Just explain why you feel things haven't been working out for you and you think its best you go seperate ways :) From the age displayed you and your girlfriend are both young and will move on from this!
xxxxxxx
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A
female
reader, Nay07 +, writes (16 July 2007):
 There is no way that you can break up with someone without hurting them but you can make it a little bit easier by talking to her properly rather than doing it on the phone etc. Sit her down and tell her the truth about why you want to break up and then insist that you want to stay friends. Good luck! xx
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