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male
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anonymous
writes: My bf broke up with me between Christmas and New Years, and I could tell something was wrong for a week beforehand, but he kept saying things were fine. We had bought committment rings for each other, promised each other we'd be together forever, and then out of the blue he broke up with me saying he wasn't happy. He decided to move out and wanted space. I've tried to fix things and no I realize that I generally haven't respected his desire for space and independence. Every time I tried talking to him, he's just get more upset, and finally said he couldn't take it anymore and is trying to move on with his life. We had a counseling session scheduled for three weeks from now, which he asked me to cancel. I know we were very much in love, and I'm pretty sure we still both are, but I'm not helping things by bringing up getting back together. So, I'm going to completely stop bothering him about anything, and not call or email him at all - wait for him to initiate contact. I just want us to work though our issues and be happy again. Do you think in time he'll think things over and want to work things out? I'd wait forever for him, I know we were great together. Any sugestions as to what I can do, other than just keep my mouth shut and deal with it?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2006): Hi, I had a boyfriend that was similar to yours...he always gets pissed off and when i try to talk about our problems, he either signs off, hangs up, or walks away...it's hard and i love him so much...he recently broke up with me for a stupid reason..and he says it won't be forever...he said he just needs his space...yet, i have a hard time giving it to him b/c he's on my mind all the time...and i just can't be w/o him. I guess the right thing to do would be to give your ex some space..and the thing that helps me is..."if it's mean't to be then you will be together in the end." just keep that in mind...and always remember that there are other fish in the sea. I hope I helped for the most part...lol. bye.
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reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): Don't see him, and write a letter to him - say once a month? Once every two weeks max? Show consideration, express your faults, but don't degrade your self-esteem. In a past relationship, I felt the same way sometimes the way he did with you.
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A
female
reader, x Chrissy x +, writes (18 January 2006):
 I think that you have most of this figured out. It is the bestthing to wait for him to initiate things espically if he wants space, you calling him might not help the situation.Try talking to his friends if possible and find out how he is and what he is up to that way you will not lose all contact and you will know when the time is right. You also dont want to be calling him all the time because it might sound that you were desperate for him. Things will work out you just have to give it time and if he really loves you he will come around soon.
Good Luck.
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A
female
reader, llqueen +, writes (18 January 2006):
That is a hard situation. I know that you both probably do still love each other. But, there is some reason he doesn't want to be together. It is fine if you want to wait a little while, but don't wait forever. Leave your possibilities open to new things. I wish the best for you. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2006): I know things feel impossible right now. Be patient. Give him his space. Sometimes being apart can make someone realize what they miss. In the meantime "waiting forever" is not realistic. You have to move on with your life. This does not mean dating, but getting involved with new interests. Go work out and get "buff." Take on a new hobby. Keep yourself busy! Eventually you will want to move on and meet someone else. Just don't rush yourself. I know it hurts! Surround yourself with friends, family and activities that make you happy.
I wish you the bst of luck!
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