A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was with my bf for a year and a half and he wanted a break so he could go and party his last semester of law school without worrying about me (his exact words). Before he left we were having problems and we tried to fix them and three times he gave up, saying it was too hard. Now he wants to get back together with me saying he made a mistake and loves me etc...I do still love him, but I don't believe him or trust him anymore. I don't know if I should give him another chance.
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male
reader, anon_e_mouse  +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I would just like to add that my EX said the same thing before she went away on holiday for 11 days. No contact for all that time and when she got back we got back together.
After a few months we seemed to argue far too much and the relationship became extremely unhealthy so I ended it.
After ending it I later found out she was "enjoying being single" while she was on holiday. I cannot say for sure what she did but needless to say I'm better off out of that so-called relationship.
Be strong and concentrate on yourself. You are far more deserving of someone who you can trust and isn't going to "swan off" whenever he feels like "sowing his oats".
A
male
reader, anon_e_mouse +, writes (13 March 2008):
From personal experience I'd say NO WAY.
He wants to not worry about it so he can fool around and not feel guilty about it.
End of.
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A
female
reader, lilmisse2424 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 It is your choice. I would choose with caution. He has given up before, and now that you are on a break, and in this case, a somewhat unhealthy way to take a break from a relationship, it will allow you to really think things over. I give him props for being honest with you, though. He does not want to hurt you. Trusting someone who has been honest with you may be difficult. I would use this time to think it over and really consider what is best for you.
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A
female
reader, Gena Bullock +, writes (13 March 2008):
 Answer: NO
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I'm going to be a bit cynical about his motivation here, and I could be waaaay off, but here it is.
He was honest about wanting to party, and by splitting up with you, he technically wasn't unfaithful to you. It was kind of his last hoorah before having to start his career, and maybe he just had to blow off some steam.
Is he going to work for a large law firm? You know, the ones that demand their junior attorneys spend 80+ hours/week at work, billing as much as they can, working Saturdays and Sundays too? Where they have no chance for a social life?
Maybe he's just been hit by the reality of that work demand and suddenly realizes that he won't have time to date or even get to know another woman, so he's figured out that it's easier to go back to you. Then he doesn't have to go through the dating phase again, and he won't have to apologize for working long hours....
Sorry again for being cynical, but I have a feeling he's put his needs first, and isn't treating you with the respect you deserve.
I would have a long think, as the other posters have suggested, about what it is YOU want and need in a relationship. Maybe a guy who has to spend lots and lots of time at work won't have much time to devote to you. Maybe you deserve a guy who wouldn't put partying above you in the priority list.
I wish you all the best, and good luck with sorting this out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): when you love some one you have to trust the person.
bringing that person close when you do not trust him might be calling for your own missery.
if it happiness your looking for then you can learn to trust him or do not axcept him back
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A
male
reader, tux +, writes (13 March 2008):
 I will have to say tread with caution. He left you once so he can party his last semester of law school. I'm guessing his partying included "other girls." Sometimes breaks can be healthy. A break to go party I don't believe is a healthy break especially considering he initiated it. My other concern is you have had problems in the past where he gave up. When you hit a rocky part again, will he bail on you again? I don't think I would trust him. I believe it's best to move on. IMO
~tux
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Hi Hunny
You have to follow your head with this one not your heart..He left you to party and the partys over now so he has realised his mistake ok!!!!! Id definatly keep him waiting untill I had thought about this very carefully love, Put yourself first and your feelings and see were they take you think really hard ok hunny TAKE CARE WITH LOVE N HUGS MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): Well, at least he was honest about it, that counts for something.
But he has set a precedent hasn't he? If he wants out, he gets out. So what is going to be the next time?
It is easy to say you made a mistake, the hard thing is not to make them again in the future and if you take him back, in a way you proof to him that with you he can make mistakes.
If you hook up with him again, odds are sooner or later he wants out again.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2008): IT is up to you. He has been honest with you, which is a great quality.
(I think I would find it hard wondering about his sex life during the split. I guess you should ask about his for the sake of your health. This would be the hard bit to put in its place if it were me. But it could be worth doing and nothing worth having is easy.)
If you can get over that and remain honest with each other you could have a good relationship. You could turn this around in your own favour and use it to make you a very strong couple. Either way whatever you decide must be a conviction, it would not be fair to start blaming him or questioning him or it will be ruined anyway.
If you have issues to do with trust it will be hard to steer this on a straight path. If you can be positive you can think well, he had loads of choices put in front of him but chose you. That is a huge compliment.
Maybe think about doing this slowly. Do your own stuff and have your own interests. See him a little and give yourself some time to really consider whether this is right for you. Don't let worrying about this relationship take you over.
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