A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm so miserable. My boyfriend loves me but always makes me feel second best compared to his ex. They were together for about 2 years and says now it was all just superficial. He makes me feel bad by rubbing in the superficial part. He says she was rich, beautiful, popular, talented like it was a bad thing and I have none of those qualities... that hurts so bad. Of course I want him to love me for deeper reasons, but he makes me feel like I'm such a step down... but ohhh... that's not important. Please someone help. I cry all the time thinking about it. Same thing when it comes to making love.... he says that with her it was "superficial"... meaning she was just hot and with me it's love but that makes me feel like he's saying I'm ugly.... but oh it's okay. I'm so upset please help.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): I wouldn't get into any conversations with it about him at all. If you have to argue or reason your way into him thinking of you as #1, why in the world are you with him in the first place? If what you're saying in your original post is exactly true, there's no way you ought to be in this deal.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2009): Who wants to hear about the ex! Sounds like he aint over her. He shuldnt make u feel that way either. Hav u told him how u feel? U shuld tel him that u dont care if his ex was all that. U are who u are & u shuld be able 2 feel good about it. He sounds like he is the one that is superficial.
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A
male
reader, Luaris +, writes (7 April 2009):
 yeah I agree next time he says she was beautiful ask "and Im not?" and then I would have a serious conversation with him to see if he really is over his ex. Ive kinda been through this sorta situation with a girl and it turns out she did kinda have feelings for her ex...but after a while it worked out and now were dating again so who knows? maybe you should even suggest some time off after this conversation to see if he decides to pursue you or her thats what it took for me.
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A
male
reader, Neboraic  +, writes (7 April 2009):
let him know.
Better yet, let him read your dearcupid post. Either he doesnt know how to act around women or he cares little for you. Staying like this should not be an option. Tell him he shouldnt ever mention his ex girlfriend.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 April 2009): talk to him and let himm know how your feeling you can't keep things bottled up it ain't fair xx
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