A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I really need some help and I really don't have anyone to turn to :(I have been suffering from some horrible symptons recently and to cut a long story short I'm having tests to find out what's wrong. The doctor thinks it's endometriosis. I know what the implications are of this, and it's distressing to say the least.The problem I'm having is that I feel like I'm not getting enough support from my boyfriend and I don't know what to do. He is having a lot of family problems lately and I'm constantly there for him whenever he needs me, I listen, I call, I comfort. Yet whenever I want to talk I get 'just don't think about it'. Maybe I want to think about it? Maybe talking helps me? He's gone to his mother's this week, when I have my hospital appointment. He told me he would try to come, but he has little money. However he's telling me he's going out with his friends at the weekend and even how much the ticket is going to cost. Now he has pretty much stopped talking about how he said he was going to try come with me to the appointment.I feel like I'm being unreasonable for just wanting him to support me a bit, but I don't feel like I can put this in a way that doesn't make me sound like I'm demanding. I don't know what to do. I just need someone to listen to me and tell me I'll be ok, even though I know I might not be :( I really love him, and he says he loves me too but I'm starting to worry that this is a more one sided relationship, or maybe he's just got too much in his life for room for me. I've tried talking to my friends, but I guess they don't really get my point. Can anyone please give me some positive advice? Thanking you in advance, I appreciate it.
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male
reader, Luaris  +, writes (7 April 2009):
 That really isnt right. I would flat out ask your bf about this. Ask him how come he doesnt have money to come see you but he does to go out with his friends and tell him how shitty it is you have to even ask questions like that when your going through the things you are going through. Im sory to hear about your medical problems and any bf should be doing a lot more then he is right now in your time of need. But then again your friends know you two better than me so if they se his point maybe thats right too. I dont know this is just my opinion.
A
male
reader, Neboraic +, writes (7 April 2009):
Demanding, yes you are, we all have demands, needs that need to be met, the typical male need is physical whereas the typical female need is emotional. There is nothing wrong with expecting your boyfriend to support you, its what every girl does and what every good boyfriend does.
As for advice, you could talk to him about it, let him know the full story, that "dont think about it" is not enough and you want him to listen and let him know how much it bothers you. Dont do it in a demanding, angry, telling off way. Do it in a sad way, just give him the facts with no orders and see how that goes. If he doesnt change then you should change him (for another boyfriend i mean).
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