A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy in January through a good friend of mine on a night out clubbing. He kept eyeing me and made a pass at me but I was quite shy at the time, and even though I was attracted to him I stayed away. After that I added him on facebook but we didn't really keep in touch.Well, fast forward to about 3 weeks ago, he started talking to me on fb chat and I told him that I was planning to go to this club on a thursday with my friends, and he said he would go too and meet me there. It ended up being a really good night, we sat alone and talked for a couple of hours even though we had had a few. We left at about 3am and he came in the taxi with me and paid the fare, but requested I be dropped off at my place and him to his own.We kept in touch and met again at the same club a week after, and it was going good until I lost him when he went for a smoke break. He ended up taking off in a taxi to go home without telling me and said he thought he said goodbye. I was extremely pissed off and did not speak to him for the rest of the week.Yesterday, I went to the same club again and he knew I was going, and was waiting for me when I got there. We hung out and everything was okay, but the same thing happened. He took off again. I, however was completely expecting it. It did ruin my night and I ended up leaving my friends because I wasnt in the mood.He keeps telling me that we need to go for coffee or dinner so we can talk when we're completely sober but he never sets a date, or when I ask him when he would like to catch up, he doesn't reply back. The only time I've spoken to him on the phone was right after he would take off, he would call to apologise. I know he's wasting my time, but is he worth it? We get along great and we have chemistry, I just don't understand why he's playing me like this.He is also quite snarky, witty, intelligent etc. and has a lot of facebook groupies. By groupies, I mean women worshipping the ground he walks on. lol.Any comments/help would be appreciated :)
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clubbing, facebook, in the mood, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your input. I am going not going to really try and put any effort into him.. if he really did want a relationship he would try harder.
I am not going to casually date him, just so you guys know. I don't want to be another groupie.
A
female
reader, mizz.butterflies  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 looks like this guy has a lot on his mind,and a lot of groupies.he's caught up between starting a serious relationship (with you)...or enjoy the fan club treatment of his groupies. Dont show him ur pissed. Just relax and try to have fun in the club. When he sees u again and wants to talk to you say yes but leave shortly afterwards to go back to ur friends. be polite and smile....just dont stress over him. once he sees ur relaxed he might wanna forget about his groupies and fall into ur arms. it's a 50-50 chance.
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (26 April 2010):
 I don't think there is chemistry in his end because if there were he wouldn't just disappear. Courtship is very important in the beginning of a relationship it doesn't seem like he is trying very hard. Having a bunch of groupies worshiping him might mean that they go out of there way to be with him and they will tolerate him being inconsiderate and rude. I think you shouldn't put yourself in that list of groupies since he can't properly date you, respect you or act like gentlemen towards you, not worth the headache. You should leave it at that and date someone who knows how to treat a lady like a lady.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (26 April 2010):
 That's what happens when people drink too much. They tend to forget about good manners :)
He does not sound overly interested. If he were, he could get in touch when he is sober and set a date for taking you out. But he's very vague about it .
I think he is ok with hanging out with you casually- if it happens it happens- but does not wish to bave a deeper involvement with you.
I would not say he is "playing" you maliciously on purpose. He probably thinks that his behaviour is self-explanatory.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010): Sounds like this guy doesnt want to get to close to you or you get too close to him.
He probably leaves without saying goodbye so that he doesnt put himself in an awkward position of perhaps having to ask you to come home with him?? Maybe he is sexually inexperienced??
I would suggest that you play it cool and keep him at arms length... and if he has loads of women worshipping him do you really want to compete with that??
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (26 April 2010):
 Good grief. Who cares if he has "groupies". If he can't put the effort into something as simple as a goodbye, then he's not worth it. Maybe once can be excuseable, but more than once? Nope. That's a character flaw.
You should never have a relationship with someone if you have to mentally justify a serious breach of ettiquette right from the start. Leave him to his groupies.
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