A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I have just come out of an 18 month relationship with a guy 10 yrs younger than me, he used and abused (verbally) me throughout but i kept going back (and still would). I cannot get him out of my system (maybe because he lives next door), but last weekend he had some woman there who slept over and from my house i look onto his bedroom and they were in bed. This has caused me to be physically ill and I feel like i am totally falling apart. I cannot eat, work or sleep I just cry all the time. He does not want me and i thought i had accepted this but seeing him with someone else like that is something i am not handling. advice please, this is just hurting too much. At my age surely this is pathetic and very sad, he and the girlfriend seem to be purposely tormenting me by saying and doing things within hearing distance or where they know i can see them carrying on. I now do not open my curtains on that side of the house - it's just sick. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, TaylorChu  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 I don't get why people like to torture others especially in the realm of love. I am so sorry to hear that this man is acting foolishly and not taking your feelings into consideration. I know the pain you speak of in a way. It will take a bit for you to heal eternally but you will come out of it much stronger. Now that you see the type of man he is you know that he isnt worthy of you. If he is willing to flaunt other women in front of your face I think he'd be willing to do that to other women too. That is an immoral man and doesnt care about women.
I say take all the pain and anguish and funnel it into something your are passionate about. If you have money saved up go take a trip and live for you! Get active in something that consumes all your attention. If you happen to see while out the house just stand your ground, wave hello and show him what he does doesn't have an effect on you because CLEARLY he malbehavior is to hurt you directly. Find some friends and party or have a get together at your place and enjoy people who cherish you not want to hurt you.
A
female
reader, TELLULAH  +, writes (25 July 2007):
 Oh you poor thing,
To have this happen anyway, is bad enough, but to have to watch it next door must be a nightmare.
The only thing I can say is that in time you will get over it, but in the meantime, you should get yourself out as much as possible. Do you have a friend you could stay with for a while?
Getting your confidence back, should be the road to recovery. And by getting on with your life and doing new things to take your mind off it all will help you.
As for them rubbing it in, he sounds rather childish and spitefull. I really cant understand why you say you would want him anyway. And dont think that he wont end up treating her as bad as he did you. He is just fooling her till she is in love, and we all know how stupid that makes us. The truth is he wont change, and she may be laughing at you now, but that is because he would have sweet talked her into thinking he's nice. Just wait and the crack's will appear.
Honestly Honey, he is not worth your tears. The best way to get back at him would be to show that you dont care, and he no longer has an effect on your life.
Try to be stronger, and have a good cry, but do it so he cant see. Your body can only take so much, and eventually you will become numb to the pain he caused you.
XX
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A
female
reader, Shalita  +, writes (25 July 2007):
My dear I am sorry for what you are going throu, however there is only one way to do this, is by accepting that the man you loved did not love you. It hurts if love is thrown back to your face but I want you to be your own and try doing something else like go partying with your girlfriends, visit friends and try hard not to think about him, of course he does it knowing you are watching, please get off him and enjoy your life while you are still young.
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