A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I'm a freshman in college, and my current girlfriend and I have been going out for about a month. This is the first time I've been in a relationship, and things are, for the most part, going really well.This has also been the first of my real sexual experiences with a girl. So far, we've "fooled around" three times. She's been able to get me off with a handjob all three times, but it was only this last time that I was able to get her off by fingering her. The thing is, she says she requires both the inside of her vagina and her clit to be stimulated simultaneously in order to achieve orgasm. Given that, at this stage, I lack the knowledge/skill/coordination to do both of these at once, I've been just fingering her while she massages her clit. Obviously, this works, but I can't help but feel a bit bummed about it. It's almost as though its half me fingering her, and half her just masturbating. I really want to be able to please her unassisted, but just can't pull it off... she obviously just knows her body way better than I ever could. Thoughts? Is this bothering me more than it should? I can't help but worry that I'm not as good as other guys she's been with in the past (she's had two boyfriends before, and has done these things with them, but is still a virgin, for what it's worth).
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, sammi star  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 First of all don't beat yourself up thinking about the other guys she's been with...you're the only one she wants now. Anyway, she's probably thinking you're an amazing lover because there aren't many men that are so selfless and dedicated to their partners pleasure!
There are lots of positions that are great for dual stimulation, search the internet and you'll find no end of ideas. Cosmo website is always full of great tips, it doesn't matter that they're written for women, they'll certainly give you an insight into what works for the female body!
Have fun figuring it out, it doesn't matter if it doesn't happen straight away, whats important is that you're talking to each other and she's not afraid to tell you what works for her.
A
male
reader, ivanichiaynus +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Good tip from female anon, but also try this...
Use one or two fingers on her g-spot (front wall of her vagina, abput 1-2 inches in, feel for a rough patch of skin), rubbing gently at first then more firmly as it swells.
Then use your thumb on her clit, rotating if you can.
As things intensify, try clamping your fingers and thumb together like pincers and pump your hand back and forth to stimulate clit and g-spot fully, going harder and faster as she gets near the edge.
Sucking on her nipples at the same time should get her there!
Ivan.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): I don't know if you would really cosider this but when my boyfriend fingers me he also uses his tongue to lick my clit, that way I don'y have to do a thing and it feels absolutely amazing!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Well why dont you guys have inercorse with her on top it stimulates her clit and vagina and she can control it since she knows her body well.or you could give her oral sex using your tounge on her clit while also fingering her at the same time...and dnt beat yourself up be confident that will pleasure her you just need pratice and it will be fine
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A
male
reader, hiro06 +, writes (11 November 2010):
Women are way different than man. They get turned on by emotional and mental means. Guys, well you know about guys and how we get aroused off anything. If we she a girl naked we get tunred on lol. I was in the same situation. What you have to do is read up on a women's body, study what parts of women body if stimulated correctly leads to orgasm. Also lookat porno and find information on type of position, techniques, etc. About 8 out of 10 women fake an orgasm most women never even have orgasm or known what an orgasm feels like. Also, go to the barnes and nobles or books a million and pick up a karma sutra book. That will really help and also listen to your partner during sex. Just because you are inexperience doesnt mean she has to know. But I promise you if you can get her to cum like a waterfall she will stay around trust me =).
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