A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend of 4yrs on and off again just cheated on me with my best friend last week. we have 2 kids and i think i want to try and work past this, but here is the issue, my friend has wanted a child for a long time now, so 3 weeks a go we mad a plan that he would try once to get her pregnant but i had to be there so he did i was there that is were it was supposed to end.One week later she called him to come over and "hang out" after work wile i was out of town at 12:00am and she admits to the fact she made the first move he still had a choice. so i guess what im asking should i forget it ever happened and take him back raise our kids (he is such a good dad)and loose the friend or do i say F them both and move on as a single parent with no job or nether what do i do
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male
reader, PrinceCharming  +, writes (27 August 2011):
I agree with Mariab you allowed them to do this , its your fault. Its no reason to lose your bf and baby daddy , tell them your feelings and that it better not happen again , and that you were wrong for suggesting it. If they do it again drop them both!
A
female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (27 August 2011):
 Why didn't your friend pay to use a sperm donor? I don't understand why you loaned out your boyfriend. There's no forgetting it happened. Trust me, you will never forget. You're not going to be able to push out of your mind that the father of your children and best friend are untrustworthy. It would be wise of you to take your baby daddy to court to make sure you get child support for both of your children then dump him. Unfortunately, he will be in your life forever because you two have children together, but it can be at arms length. And only to do with the children.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2011): why did it have to be your husband who tried to get her pregnant ??. why didnt you introduce her to a friend of yours or why didnt she have sex with a friend of hers or something ?. a single one .
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): CaringGuy said it perfectly.
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A
female
reader, Mariab  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 You ALLOWED you bf to have sex with you best friend to make a baby! I am sorry really but if he has a child with her then that would make her part of his life forever!! Given this situation... why would you be upset if they had sex again? In my eyes... he did not cheat.. you opened a can of worms and really you cannot blame the guy! If I were you... I would tell this best friend of mine that you made a mistake and you don't want this to EVER happen again and she should back it up... explain the same to your man. Let it go for now....BUT make sure you are clear that its a NO GO ZONE! Good luck.. xx
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A
female
reader, Aunty Susie  +, writes (26 August 2011):
 Yes, you made a massive mistake. It has happened, now you have to move on and start a new life for yourself, and your children. Many women manage to create wonderful lives for themselves and their children, it will be hard going to start with, but how could it be any harder than what you are in the middle of right now.
Find yourself decent child-care, find yourself a job to support you and your children, then you will find some dignity, and be able to move ahead with life. In the future, be very careful when making choices. Good luck to you. xx
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (26 August 2011):
I think there are many reasons to end your relationship.
First of all, you use the words 'on/off' to describe your relationship. That's not a good sign. It means that you're not really working through problems that you have together, and you revert to ending things when it goes wrong.
Secondly, I don't think anyone here has thought about the consequences of allowing your boyfriend to make another woman pregnant. First of all, that child will be allowed access to him. Secondly, that child and your children will have to be introduced. Thirdly, your boyfriend will have to support that child (legally), and therefore you and your own children will lose out. This hasn't been thought out properly.
Finally, your boyfriend has now cheated, and your so called best friend stabbed you in the back. You've been screwed by both of them. You can't trust her at all to be a friend. You can't trust him because he's now cheated. Worst of all, what if she is now pregnant?
I don't see anything here worth salvaging. All I see is a massively flawed relationship. You seem to be entirely lost. You have two children by a man who hasn't really committed and has cheated. You have a best friend who has stabbed you in the back. You don't have a job of your own or any real identity.
I think after what's happened, you certainly need to get rid of your best friend. She's useless. I also think that you should end it with your boyfriend and make a life for yourself. Yes, you don't have a job, but you can certainly try to get one. And believe me, that's got to be better than living a lie with a man who cheated with your best friend. There's a lot more dignity for you in being a single mother who is working hard to provide for her kids.
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A
male
reader, aebniala +, writes (26 August 2011):
You took a big chance and lost. That was a bigg risk.
You are not the only one to try this.
Some call it, communes, other mormon.
If he love you and you him, what the hay, go for it.
If he love you both that mite not be to bad also.
Its a question if you can live with it and share.
He will have a big load, tow wives or what you mite call it and lots of kids.It will never be a boring life.
The call is yours.
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