A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i find an account of my boyfriend from Adultfriendfinder. i feel really hurt..but he told me he doesnt remember he ever creat this account. he told me he is sure he didnt sign in there. its because he sign in a site called myfreepaysite and that site creat adultfriendfinder porfile automatically..i couldnt believe that..i feel so hard to trust him!! i check that myfreepaysite and its all porn there but he told me he just try to download some normal program..how can i trust him??? please help me..im so so so sad...
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female
reader, gypsysoul1973  +, writes (8 May 2015):
Just found out my live in boyfriend of 5 yearsmade an adultfriendfinder account he tried to lie at first but then said he only made it to see if I had one which I don't buy..... I'm pissed and hurt .. ..we have sex often and I don't understand why he would want to disrespect me like this.... I've caught him on porn sites as well but this does it.... I'm done ..... As soon as I can get a second job in kicking him out......no excuses.... He won't stop he will just keep doing stuff behind my back....maybe eventually I will find a man I can trust if not I will stay alone...... Because this is cheating no matter what anyone says....... It's not ok and not right .......if you are in a relationship you have no business to be on these sites.... After being with someone for 5 years it will hurt to get rid of them but I'm afraid in the long run if I don't I will get hurt more
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female
reader, StillinSHock09 +, writes (19 March 2009):
I agreed to have an "open" relationship with my bf since we had became long distance. Apparently he got an account with AFF and met up with this one female from time to time. To make a long story short. She is pregnant now and claims he is the father. Im in disbelief and hurt. Our relationship is over. This women/men on this site apparently dont give a damn...and neither do the users.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 January 2009): Wow...... Heaven forbid the problem might be closer to home. Have you thought at all what any of you could have done to avoid this? Hell, did any of you actually tell him you want to be the only thing in each others lives? It might be to begin with that he didn't realize you were going to freak out at him for playing with the idea. No matter what age, what sex, what demograph people like to be told that they are attractive and fun. Its entirly possible he is freaking out over the idea of having just one girl with him for the rest of his life and wants to know that he "still gots it".Monogamy is archaic.
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): I too have been through this and the outcome was not what I wished for. My boyfriend bugged me throughout our 7 year relationship to have another man join us. I obliged him and we had quite a few encounters with different men. I began feeling really dirty because our sex life became less and less intimate. When I backed away and didnt want this anymore... he continued the lifestyle. I was able to track his internet use, and found various profiles posted out there, some had pictures of me and our encounters.He said it was just looking at porn, but later I discovered that there were craigslist ads posted and the pictures attached were him with others, advertising for more encounters. There were postings for M4M and I found pictures of him and another man on his cell phone. He wanted a girl that liked to swing. I think it was an excuse for him to have encounters with other men and couples. After I discovered the blood test paperwork, a form they fill out to determine what tests to take, and it stated "Exposure to STDs". I finally lost it. I stayed with this man for 7 years believing his bullshit lies.Before I met him, I was full of life, slim and beautiful, and left another man to be with him. I began to gain weight, feel bad about myself, and due to his jealousy, eliminated all my friends from my life.I am now still trying to regain back the person I was, and find friends again. After so many years, no one embrasses me as they used to. I cannot shake that dirty feeling and stress that others I know will find out, or see the pictures of me.All I can say is if you dont like the behavior or trust thsi man, believe your intuition... IT IS USUALLY DEAD ON! It can spiral out of control of you allow this behavior.I am no longer with this man, and all I need to do is browse the adult personals or craigslist, and find some posting out there of him... "Even though he will swear up and down that he was just looking at porn"!Take care of yourself and believe in yourself... Your mind protects you, that is why you get those feelings.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2008): hi allI have GF and i have AFF account too. i wanted to asnwer this question as side of man. there are some possiblity1- your boy friend has a history, before meet with you, he has some trials to reach a adult friend to share his animan insticts2-he is not happy of your sex life, that is not enough for him3-some man has differend fantasy to realize it, some time ordinary sex is not enough for him (Ex:FFM, MMF, anal sex, oral sex etc. which is not in your sex life)4-your BF is greedy there never be enough sex for him
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female
reader, london girl3724  +, writes (12 October 2008):
a year ago i found out my boyfriend had signed up to adult friend finder and some other dating website called melanies adult contacts, sending messages to people and sending naked pictures and in one occasion i saw he had written his real number down, even though he said the person never called; i confronted him about it when i saw it on his computer but he just accused me of looking through his things, which is true but i felt so betrayed i didnt care. first he denied everything but then confessed to some things, but not everything. he told me i made him feel wrong and dirty and that he was only doing it for cheap thrills, and he doesnt understand i feel betrayed. he tells me its all over and that i need to forgive him and that im being unfair in not trusting him but i dont know what to do. its been a year since i found out and i realise that i still dont trust him and some of his actions still seem a bit suspicious. i was just wondering if any of you had some advice on how you handled it or if you were able to trust again. i really love my boyfriend, we planned on getting married after college before i found out all this, but i dont know what to do and if i can trust him again.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2008): Hi there, wow I am really surprised to see how many people are dealing with the same crap as I am. I have been dating my boyfriend for 2 years and he has been caught on numerous occasions on porn sites, sex with no strings sites - every possible dirty site out there pretty much. It definitely ruiens a woman's self-esteem and trust. Men can be such assholes, so selfish and don't see anything wrong with them doing something sick like this online, they think it is not considered cheating because the sluts on the other end are on a computer, but who knows if they meet these girls in person.I have decided I will end up leaving him, as hard as it may be if it's like this now and i've been with him for 2 years, and he's still doing it, I have no choice but to move on. There is no point to dealing with a guy who cannot control himself just for one woman in his life. If he needs to look at more to satisfy himself with dirty conversation , he is not worth it - and most likely will never stop. Since he is addicted to it. As much as you may love him, if he really loved you back I wouldn't be turning his head away to get off on another woman. It is pathetic how men are. It does not matter how old they are, a lot of them are slutty men (behind our backs).
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2008): I found out that my boyfriend of 2 yrs opened an adult friend finder account and then he deleted it the same day. i confronted him about the website...just asking if he had heard about it and he lied straight to my face that he had never even heard of it. I also found a website xxxblackbook.com but he said that he never had a profile there but was just directed to videos on the site thru bearshare (whatever that is)...admitted to looking at porn but said he has never visited a "matchmaker" type site. Part of me feels like it is harmless to look at videos and what not--we have a great sex life so i am not worried about him not being attracted to me or vice versa--but if he truly is seeking out online sex--that's gross. i am also very hurt he lied to my face. I know he was scared and knew i would be upset but still...i think i may confront him again (we were not entirely sober when i confronted him the first time). But the bottom line, is it harmless or is it serious? and if he opened the profile and deleted it the same day...is that a sign he was just exploring and not serious about it?
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female
reader, star23  +, writes (6 August 2008):
 hello you guys.i am in the same situation as you all. ive found out my boyfriend has being using adult friend finder for ages and ive been going out with him for over three and a half years. im on the brink of a breakdown,i know how stupid am i, a stupid man breaking my soul. its so sad. i know i searched history on laptop, saw his emails, hes lied to me about this and only admitted to using this once i saw the emails last week. its awful.the internet is being used for terrible uses these times, i cant deal with it. whatever about him looking at porn, i can just get over that just about, but this disgusting site, for online sex and swingers. it disgusts me, i cant cope with it. its interacting with other people to get off with them. what will it end with??? an actual meeting?? we are on the brink of breakup because of this. he even said that the people in his house were probably using this and making up fake profiles. ya f*****g right! so now i just dont know what to do? with him? with myself, my emotions and my sanity!
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female
reader, Joy britain +, writes (21 July 2008):
I think I'm in exactly the same situation as you. The difference is I'm 3 months pregnant and discovered just yesterday that my partner has been crusing the adultfriender website for 1 night stands since March 2008. Natuarally this discovery has made me feel a small as a pin and as empty as a ballon.
Many would suggest to get rid, but you and I know its a lot more complicated than that.
I have about this very carefully and have come to conclusion that the:
#Step 1. Gather all the evidence i.e emails sent from the adultfriender sites. This will require you to hack into your partner email inbox. I was able to do this by signing into my partner yahoo messanger which then loads his email automatically, so why not give this a try.
#Step 2. Create a descion tree in your mind or on paper. By this I mean decide how you will respond if satisfies or doesn't satisfy your questions. Your instincts will tell you if you are satisfied or not with his answers.
#Step 3. If you decide to give your partner another chance, please be well aware that there is every chance that this whole occurence may happen again, so in order to give yourselfs a fresh start you should be completely convinced and satisfied that he is telling the truth and be able to draw a line and move on, never refering to this again in the future.
#Step 4. If you decide to have a break from the relationship, then i urge you to be steadfast and strong. Enjoy the time you spend apart with friends and family because spending too much time alone will only make you feel lonely. Eventually your partner will be pushed further and further back into the ocean of your thoughts and if your partner's really willing to change he will prove it BEFORE you consider getting back together.
#Step 5. Go with your gut, what works for me may not work for you.
Remember only YOU and your partner know what you have and whether its worth salvaging, you decide whether you've had enough or whether your partner is worth all the stress, also ask yourself are they forgiving?
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female
reader, christinepe +, writes (18 June 2008):
I just found out my boyfriend of five years made an adult friend finder account with his friends when he was mad at me as a joke. "as he says". I dont know but in my opinion I think there is more to your boyfriend's/husband's story then he is letting on. Try to find out his email password and once you do that you can find out the password to any other accounts he has. If I haddnt, I dont if I would have ever found out his email password and wouldn't have found out he had an adult friend finder account. You just need to figure out how to snoop with out being caught by your boyfriend. But, once you can prove he has done something wrong, you can confront him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008): I to found my partner had a free account to get an account you have to submit all your details so he would remember I feel hurt n dont trust him anymore. I found it through an email confirming his account he said it wasnt him but he confessed in the end I still dont know what to do can anyone help me with the answer
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2008): My ex boyfriend secretly had an adult friend finder account. He didn't think I knew about it. He was a very good liar. It sounds like your boyfriend is just as good. Don't overlook this adult friend finder incident. You will regret it! He is lying about having a profile on a website dedicated to adult sex and swingers. That is a huge breach.
Additionally, it's a social networking site which means he is just a click away from hooking up with someone sexually, or he may choose to carry on a discreet sexual relationship either online, which may eventually go offline.
Dump that guy while you are still sane and disease free! He is most likely lying and cheating (or very close to cheating) and this type of behavior will erode the very foundation of your soul. He WILL eventually break your heart.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 January 2008): Break up with him, hes lying to you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2007): i hate to say this but your boyfriend is lying to you my husband goes on myfreepaysite and adult friend finder with my permission i also use these site's and you can not get any normal programs from myfreepaysite it is all porn and by going on my freepaysite it does not automatically join you to adult friend finder you have to create an account for both the sites which includes making up a screen name giving email address and more information.These sites are for adults to have fun and don't necessarily mean he is cheating on you however he hasn't been completely truthful either..
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female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (4 November 2007):
 Do you trust your guy? It doesn't sound like it. He's told you that he didn't create and doesn't use the account. All you can do is take his word for it or let it mess your head up and destroy your relationship by you checking up on him all the time. So, ok he might be lying, but you have no proof right now so try and place this to the back of your mind until something else comes up. Maybe nothing ever will.
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