A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hello, I'm 15 and I have been with my boyfriend for about 6 months now. I am in my last year at school and I have been with this boy before a few times. He used to be the ultimate player, liar and cheat all in one and I was really hurt. I have been with him twice before now and I honestly loved him. You see, we had been friends for 5 years before we started dating. In fact, we were best friends and he was going out with my best girl mate that I had been friends with for 10 years. We were always really close and had great laughs and I would always have been there for both of them during their arguments/problems because there were together on/off for about 4 years.I began noticing my feelings for him during the 4th year of their relationship although i never acted on it. Anyway, that is a bit of background information. I really loved him yet he broke my heart.He told me he wanted me back 7 months ago, and I didn't take him back straight away because I wanted to know he was being sure about this and not just using me cos he wanted a girlfriend. He said he had changed, stopped being a player etc. But my question is: can players really change?Because he says to me all the time, I love you. I could have had any girl I wanted back then, but I chose you and I chose to change my ways FOR you. Why can't you just believe me?And I believe this because during the time when he was trying to get me back, whenever we hung out, there would be loads of girls ringing him and texting him. He would just ignore them or press the red hang up button and I saw all the messages on his facebook and the texts on his phone about these girls wanting to go out with him. So I know it's true.We haven't had sex yet. He's not a virgin but I am. He's also my age. He used to sleep with loads of people and would cheat on his girlfriends. When I went out with him in the past, he wanted sex but I never gave it to him because I wasn't ready and he didn't respect that. He didn't sleep with any other girls, he kissed 3 other girls during the time I was with him then. But now he knows that I'm not ready and I have said. I have only just started giving him head properly and before I told him I didn't want to because I wasn't ready and he tried to reassure me it was okay but I wasn't convinced and he respected that. He also says we'll do it when I'm ready and he'll make it special for me, petals and candles etc.I feel like I'm ready to lose my virginity and to him. But I just want to know if you think that he has actually changed?Thankyou x
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best friend, facebook, I love you, liar, player, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 January 2010): NO!
NO! HELL NO!
sorry for my word girl but hey i`ll tell you the truth and it has been around one of my sisters and my friends for a long while and now am going to tell you, "cheater well all ways be a cheater."
some thing else just to let you know he is just doing all those stuff so he can have sex with you and go to his next gril on the line.take this for me please,
thanks and hope the best.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): Most players are just getting STARTED at 15 or 16 years old, girl. You can sleep with him if you want, but sex won't give you the result you want it to. It won't change him. It won't give you the right to demand that he changes for you. It won't stop him from lying to you. It won't make him feel more for you than he already does.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): If the term "sloppy seconds" grosses you out, you probably should not be with that guy.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): The "ultimate" Player by the age of 15? That's some kind of child prodigy!
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A
male
reader, lazyman87 +, writes (4 January 2010):
i think at your age he hasn't got the maturity to change. you are at a very high risk of becoming just another girl he has had sex with. if i were you i would wait before having sex.
give it time, don't commit yourself... yet. can you detect a significant difference in what he does? you certainly don't want to be with the 'old' him, but there may not be a 'new' him.
i'd get rid of him, but if you truly feel he has changed, then give it time.
i'd be interested to hear a woman's opinion on this.
best of luck xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2010): I think he is an idiot and you should get away from him as soon as possible. But I doubt you will listen to that. So you want my opinion? No, that guy has ABSOLUTELY not changed.
He just wants to have sex with you. He'll even make it extra special for you, with rose petals and stuff (as if it were an effort for him to recognize your value). Unbelievable. I would put A LOT of money down on him cheating on you after you did it with him. How would that make you feel?
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A
female
reader, xAx +, writes (4 January 2010):
 Players are people who tend to want everything as soon as possible and have it all easy for them and get bored. To help you believe that he has changed you need more time of being with him as that will give you reassurance that he won't cheat and if he continues to not pressure you into sex, you know that he does truely like you. So give it a bit longer before having sex. Also, you are underaged, so you shouldn't have sex. This may happen to you also, but when i lost my virginity at 16 and i felt confident as the law believes that at that age i should be able to make a good decision if i want to have sex or not. So when i finally decided, i felt emotionally and physically ready.
Hope this helps :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 January 2010):
I'm afraid only time will tell. He has hurt you before, but that might be because he was immature. He may have changed. If you can trust him, then continue and see where it leads. If you don't and you're just going to be paranoid, then end it now.
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