A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Have any of you had luck dating friends? I have this friend but I'm interested in more. She's beautiful and intelligent, we have some common interests. Of course I'm afraid to ask her out on a date cuz I'm scared of rejection and affecting our friendship but just wondering if anyone has tried asking out a friend or been asked out by a friend. Heck, has anyone had a long term relationship coming from a friendship? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 I've never had a friendship turn into a relationship - though I tried quite a few times when I was younger. Eventually I learned that while you can almost always make a move on a girl before becoming friends when it doesn't work, it's never worked for me to become friends and then try to upgrade.
Only one couple among the people I know have successfully gone from friendship to relationship, and both of them had few prospects other than one another. In that case, it was the woman who wanted the upgrade, not the guy - and while I can't back it up with anything more than this anecdote, I suspect it's easier for women to upgrade than for men.
If you want to take the shot, that's great, I hope it works. I just think the odds of success are low. Don't let fear stop you - either decide to ask her out or not, but if not, you absolutely must go find another girl to romance, rather than pining away for your friend.
A
female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (24 June 2011):
 I knew my current partner for a year as just friends before we decided to get into a relationship. We realised that we shared a lot of the same values and interests, had the same sense of humour, and were attracted to each other. The only thing stopping us was that we were dating other people. (there was jealousy throughout our friendship as a result of this haha)
I think its best to actually be friends with someone before you date them. It lets you get to know the person on a comfortable level before anything sexual is introduced into the relationship.
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A
male
reader, spinnaker +, writes (24 June 2011):
 The familiarity is what attracts us to our friends. They know us we know them so a lot of the foundation is already set.
If you do ask that person out or in any other way confess your feelings one of two things would happen - this from my experience.
1) She rejects and the friendship will suffer only as much as it affects her level of security and trust in you
2) she accepts and you develop something more. Just remember that if things go sour you will not be able to simply roll back the clock and be friends like you were.
I have been in this situation and used a little finesse to gauge the other persons willingness to enter a relationship. I just brought up the conversation of relationships in general and somewhere in that conversation I realized that we are better being friends. Not that she wasn't a great girl or that there was something in there I didn't like - but a relationship would not work in our case. Moreover, we were such good friends that even now the prospect of a relationship seems awkward. It would be like dating your sister - awkward.
My advice would be to just bring up the conversation of relationships and see where it goes. No sense in tipping your hand if you don't have to right?
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