A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Just wondering, has anyone ever had a happy ending out of having an affair, with a married partner or with someone who is just attatched?I'm just curious.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): Its all a matter of who you are having the affair with. I just ended a "successful" affair with an ex of mine(she moved away).We are both in relationships and we had the same intentions.Just fun with no strings attatched.No heated debates or fights, just friends with benefits. I learned from watching my buddies try to hold a steady gf and juggle other women on the side. The other girl almost always wants the guy in the end and the steady gf finds out.
A
female
reader, got some sense now  +, writes (23 September 2007):
I guess every situation is different. I had and affair with a married man and he swore up and down that he didnt love his wife anymore and that he was leaving but he never left. It just came a time in my life where I had to just leave him alone. The bad part about it is his wife found out and since we work together she came up to the job and busted out his car windows and confronted me. Everyone at work already knew but after that confrontation they really knew. I say that married men dont leave most of the time. He probably does love you, the other woman but not enough to leave. The other woman just needs to come to a decison about her life. Decide what she wants whether it be something real or something just casual. There are plenty of single men in the world and it hurts like hell when that married man you gave your heart to stomps on it by finally confessesing to you that he isnt leaving. Then you are left to deal with a broken heart while he just goes home to his wife and kids like nothing ever happened.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 September 2007): As someone said there are many circumstances to every marriage.Yes,you can love more then one person at a time,you cant help who you fall for,one thing i have learned is that love doesnt have rules and comes with no warning labels.It just happens.I was married for 18 years,to a man,i had a affair with,he was still married,he divorced,we got married,had 2 boys,stayed married for 18 years.Thing is like any marraige there is alot of ups and downs,I can honestly say,when he says he still loves his wife,it would depend on how long they been married,the history of their marriage and so on.I ended up divorcing my husband after 18 years but,i can say i love my ex husband,We still talk everyday,we eat dinner together once a week, we still do things together here and there,we are after all friends,it became a love of habit,caring for one another,want no harm to the other person,but i wasnt In Love with him ,time sometimes can make two people drift apart,and sometimes it to far apart to repair,but doesnt mean you dont still love that person.But 18 years ,2 boys,i can say it turned out happy,from a affair,just life changes as time sweeps by.
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A
female
reader, little miss helpful +, writes (19 September 2007):
 it is possible that someone can love two people at once by the way.
and i never had a happy ending with mr affair he promised me the world (all i wanted was him) and when it came to it he backed out.
if your having a affair just be carefull dont give your heart until you know it is over with his wife.
take care. x
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (19 September 2007):
 just so you know, my married man never hid the fact that he loved his wife, but it is possible to love 2 people at once, i know, because i hadd boyfriend for a few months whilst i was in the affiar.he's not having his cake and eating it, it's just an unfortunate case of unforseen circumstances, but i think you should trust him, if he was honest enough to tell you he was married, he's not going to lie to you.xxx
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (19 September 2007):
 You can't help who you fall for but you can help how you react to your feelings. Age does make some of us older and wiser. Some of the opinions of 18-21 year olds are not from experience. At that young age, people feel invincible. I'm not saying they're all wrong but they are inexperienced in love because they have not had enough time to understand what a solid long term relationship is really worth. That is why it is so infuriating when people are so willing to destroy what others are trying to build. Time is the best teacher.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 September 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers guys. Leanne, your right, you cant help who you fall for!
Ill take your word for it!
As for the others, your opinions are appreciated.
I have always thought that men have affairs because theyre not happy in there relationships, but what if the man has stated that he loves his partner although likes you?
Does that mean hes just being modest or is he trying to have his cake and eat it?
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A
female
reader, leanne.od +, writes (18 September 2007):
From someone who has had an affair with a married man which didn't end great, i can safely say, whilst your in the relationship, it's perfect. probably because married men know what to say, they are married after all, but personally i think it can have a happy ending. if a man has an affair it's prob because he's not happy in his marriage and so is seeking comfort but you do mean something, it can go right and don't listen to all the negativity, you can't help who you fall in love with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 September 2007): I was with a guy for 5 yrs. He treated me like crap, beat me, was emotionally abusive too. Broke my things when he didn't get his way, etc. He acted miserable too. I'd say good morning & he's say shut up bitch..I left as soon as I found a place to go. I was stuck with him for a long time b/c of financial issues. When I moved out I lived with a friend. She & I would invite one of our male friends over. We hooked up. I was still technically seeing the other guy although I tried leaving him, he woldn't accept it & kept contacting me. Long story short, I am now married & have a baby with another one the way with the guy I "cheated" on my ex with. Were happy & he treats me good, works hard & supports us so I can stay home with our baby. All situations are different. Don't judge them all as the same.
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A
male
reader, eddie +, writes (18 September 2007):
I'm sure there are people who have ended up happy after starting the affair. But, you always have to live with the fact yo began your relationship on a rotten path. People who rob little old ladies, and don't get caught are happy too. So are murders who evade justice for years. IT doesn't make the rotten deed go away, it just puts more time between it and the present.
If the marriage was rotten, perhaps the affair was not a heart breaker for the person cheated on. If the person cheated on was happy in the marriage, then although you're happy, you destroyed someone else.
This is why it's always better to have integrity. If someone is unhappy in marriage, fix it or leave. If you're the significant other, respect the spouse who's being cheated on and don't get involved.
I'm not religious but the " do on to others as you'd have then do unto you" holds some water here.
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