A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Aunts and Uncles, I have been on two dates with a wonderful woman and over the course of these dates I have found out that she is perfect for me in every way. The problem is that even though the dates were successful it seems that I'm not a priority in her life at all. She has not responded to my one text and phone call the day after our last date. Now let me make clear she is a busy person and works very hard, sometimes getting out of work at midnight. After our first date she would text me back the next day or call me but now after the second one I haven't heard from her in a week! I'm afraid that she just doesn't like me and is afraid of saying so. I don't know what to do. What are your thoughts on this situation and how should I approach it to get into contact with her so that I don't seem annoying or rude?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI gave her a call yesterday but only got voice mail and got no response today. I guess I'll just take it as it is. I'm not interested in dating anyways and only wasted my time because it was just something that came my way.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 I don't think you have done anything wrong on the second date , or that you could /should have done something different.
I guess it's simply that even if the dates went OK, she all in all is not attracted enough / interested enough to carve out her busy life the time to date you. Yeah, she should have told you so ,rather than being passive aggressive and going AWOL... but, you know how it is. Women are not trained for assertiveness, they are trained to " be nice" and not hurt feelings , so many women have a really hard time saying " Hit the road Jack ".
Then again, she sounds really like a very busy person, and you too haven't been the most ardent of pursuers, so I agree with the poster or posters who suggested to give it ONE more shot. Call her ( better than text her ) one more time, it's worth a try, then if she blows you off again... game over and move on.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (22 May 2013):
 The thing is YOU had a good time, there is no way of knowing if she had a good time or not. She might have said 'I had a great time' but again she seems to be one of these cowardly types so would probably rather lie than hurt your feelings by saying 'sorry I'm not interested'.
She might have been smiling all the way through your date and outwardly may have seemed to be enjoying herself, but in her head thinking 'he's not the one for me'. You can still have a good time with someone but not be romantically interested in them, so I'd just keep that in mind if I were you.
I doubt there was much you could have done at the end of the date to change her mind to be honest, if she had decided she wasnt interested then there is nothing to be done to change her mind.
Just write it off as experience and move on - there are plenty more women out there who wont be so cowardly and ignore you for weeks on end.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): You only sent one text and phonecall?
Screw that OP, give her another call and ask her if she'd be interested in meeting up this weekend.
My first reaction was "ditch the bitch" she's giving you the cold shoulder. But you know what? I don't give up that easy on a woman who is as busy as she seems to be.
No need to mention her not responding to your others. Give her one more shot. If she doesn't answer within a day or two then move on.
You've waited a week too so you're no overbearing, give her one more shot and one more chance, that way you can really get closure if she doesn't respond again.
OP you really just can never know what's going on in someone's life. Normally, I'd be like the others and say walk. But recently a friend of mines dog died, her loyal 15 year old childhood friend type of dog and completely forgot about the guy she was seeing and couldn't deal with him, about a week later he called her and was very nice to her about the whole thing and has pretty much impressed us all by his determination and willingness not to give up on her.
Yes women love to give the cold shoulder instead of rejecting a guy a lot of the time, but you never know and it's worth at least one more shot.
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A
female
reader, R1 +, writes (21 May 2013):
 Some girls don't like to show a guy that they aren't interested. They feel bad so they pretend to have a good time. She obviously isn't interested or she would have text or called. A week is way to long for her to get in touch now...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt doesn't make any sense though because we really had a good time on our 2nd date. I made sure to take note if anything was off but we had a good time. Was it probably something I should have done at the end of the date. All I did was give her a hug, if that is worth anything.
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A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (21 May 2013):
 She's not interested. It would be polite if she just told you how she was feeling about things, but she's a coward.
Don't contact her again. Her silence has given you her answer.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (21 May 2013):
 Hi, she is not into you. Dont send any messages or call her again. If we are wrong, then she will initiate contact until then its water under the bridge - move on.
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A
female
reader, k_c100 +, writes (21 May 2013):
Sorry but I think it is a case of 'she's just not that into you'. Clearly she wanted to see what happened after the 1st date because she was texting you and calling you. Now she has ignored you for a week, so the 2nd date (in her eyes) was not a success, she is not interested in seeing you again hence she has blown you off.
Some people (men and women) are cowards, they are too scared just to say 'sorry but I'm not interested and I dont want to see you again'. Instead of being honest they drop off the face of the earth, never respond to your texts/calls again and you will never hear from them again.
Men have done that to me, men have done that to many women on this site (I've seen countless questions about it) and clearly women do it to men as well.
All you can do is take it on the chin, delete her number and move on. Contacting her again in any way shape or form will just make you seem desperate, so let it go and dont waste you time getting in touch again.
She has blown you off, a week is more than enough time for you to realise that its all over so move on - and DO NOT contact her again.
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