A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi!I would really appreciate if I could get some answers! Anyway, I went to a party and got drunk to the point I don't remember most of it. The thing is I had a one night stand with a guy I never met before and since I can't recollect anything, I don't even know his name! He left me is phone number and unfortunately I had to call him to ask if we used condom, so that I would take the right precautions. I realize it must have been a mistake, but it's not like I want to start a relationship with him. Even so, I want to call him again because I'm really freaking out thinking about sexually transmitted diseases and at least to know what kind of guy he is. How should I approach this situation? It was my first time doing something like this and I really don't know how to act?Thanks a lot
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condom, drunk, one night stand, std Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Why not also take a quiz.
http://www.lanarkleedsaa.org/pages/aboutaa/are_you_an_alcoholic.htm
Get STD screening, initially, and for HIV you need testing serially over at least 6 mos to a year. DON'T BELIEVE HIM IF HE SAYS HE "DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO WORRY ABOUT." Many people don't know they have HPV, Herpes, or HIV.
A
female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 I'm sure these things have happened to a lot of us at some point. The crucial thing is learning from these bad experiences.
I assume by now you have had the morning after pill.
Your next priority, at some point, is to get some tests done for STI's. With a bit of luck, they'll come back OK. But by the sounds of it, you'll be very worried and will not have much peace of mind if you don't get tested.
He isn't going to own up and say he put you at risk is he. Chances are if he was happy to have drunken unprotected sex with you, then he has done the same before.
In response to the anonymous poster's thoughts. It's not just about us girls who have got a bit too drunk one night, or even not drunk, but not really thought about what you were doing at the time... What used to surprise me was the fact that guys are more than happy to try it on, yet they don't carry condoms. In terms of what he thought of you: Chances are, he was pretty drunk as well and only did the same as you, i.e. drunken unprotected sex.
I doubt either of you feel that great about the other person at the moment and he probably was surprised to hear from you in that way. I really wouldn't feel inclined to contact him again - unless of course any test shows up a problem. I'm sure you only contacted him because you were in some sort of panic about it all.
Take care, I'm sure you'll be OK.
Fiona. x
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A
female
reader, idontwanttodothis +, writes (2 November 2010):
Facebook stalk! :) & go for a check up... you should go for check ups anyway if you are sexually active :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Writer you could ask him but he might not be honest about it. If he likes you and maybe wants more he might not tell you that he sleeps around. I think the fact he slept with a stranger at a party is a good indicator that he does. It might have been a one time mistake for him but there's nothing to say he hasn't gotten an STD from a girlfriend or blow job or something.
You need to precautions against pregnancy and then just wait a few months for an STD check. To be safe and to protect other people you should refrain from having unprotected sex, including oral. Until you've gotten tested.
I personally don't think asking him will make any difference because he might have an STD and not know about it, he might have lost his virginity to you and still have an STD. No matter what you have to get tested, so asking him accomplishes nothing to be honest, only make you worry unnecessarily for a few months while you wait if he tells you he has lots of unprotected sex.
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A
female
reader, Madalo 1  +, writes (2 November 2010):
Ask him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): Thank you for taking your time answering me!
The guy told me I should take precautions... But, I don't know if he was just talking about pregnancy-related risks. I will visit a doctor for sure but, what I would really like to know is if it would be a bad attitude to try and be honest with him and see if he usually has risk behaviour? Since, you can only know for sure if you contracted AIDS after 3 months...
The writer
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 November 2010): in what state of disarray were you that you could not recall if a condom was used? Then you compound the problem by contacting him to ask if he used a condom. What must he have thought, of you? If you sleep so casually with a man you know it is you, not the men, who will have a negative opinion of how easily you 'come across' What you need to do is: 1. Get a pregnancy test from the store. Follow the instructions. That should tell you if you are pregnant. 2. Visit the doctor. Ask for a series of pathology tests to screen for Sexually Transmitted Diseases. Include an AIDS test. You may have to get follow up tests to ensure you are clear.
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A
female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (2 November 2010):
 The ONLY thing to do is go get swabbed at your docotors surgery.
Next time, drink less ans use a condom.
If you have an STD tell this guy you slept with. Its embaressing but needs to happen.
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A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 You need to see a doctor and get checked out right away to rule out any STDs. Apart from that, next time you go to a party you need to limit your drinking so this doesn't happen again.......what did the man say when you phoned him?
I hope you find you are "clean" and that you can learn from this unfortunate experience.......
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