A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend of years, we keep breaking up and getting back together, has forgotten my birthday again, and has told me she can't see me this weekend because she is spending the weekend with her cousin and neice, because it's the cousin's birthday, I'm not feeling good about this, what do you think?
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female
reader, DrPsych  +, writes (2 November 2010):
 In some ways it is not a bad thing that your girlfriend has outside interests. However, the fact that she forgot your birthday suggests you are not a priority in her mind. Despite your length of relationship she may just feel you pair are still casually dating. You are obviously in a breaking up-making up cycle. You have to ask yourself honestly if you get back together for fear of being single, or because you genuinely want to be with her. There will be reasons behind each break up and if it is similar reasons on each occasion then you should question if this relationship has any future when it stalls repeatedly. I think it is probably time that you had a heart-to-heart with your girlfriend explaining your expectations from the relationship. Of course relationships will be a two-way street and you have to accommodate her other social commitments to some degree too. However, if you are both very different people then it maybe better to walk away before you cause each other further distress.
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (2 November 2010):
 Not very considerate of her. However, if you say you've known her for years but you two keep breaking up and then (later) getting back together, there must be some serious issues you and she have not been able to resolve.....
What have you done to attempt to tackle those issues? Have you had joint counselling, perhaps?
Anyway, maybe its time for you to seriously consider making a final and permanent break if you're this unhappy......
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