A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I had a stupid drunken one night stand, in the morning I felt really sick about it because i was not at all attracted to the woman...I couldnt even look at her. I was nice enough to her and left not wanting to see her again. I went to work and on my boss's table there was a photo and who should be in this photo but this same girl! Turns out she is my boss's only child! With high insight something about her looked familiar but it didnt occur at the time in my drunken state and I have not been in this dept THAT long to recall every little detail about my boss's table.Now I dont know what to do, as I truly dont want to see her again but dont know how to handle it. She has been texting me etc and wanting to see me again. But her father will find out as from what I heard she at times meets him for lunch. And of course it could cause alot of trouble for me at work. So I dont know the best way to get rid of her without making her as upset or something....I mean I cant be honest and tell her the truth that I just dont fancy her or it was a one off or I dont want to or whatever because if it goes wrong and she does feel hurt, rejected etc it could affect my working life....so I guess I need a good excuse to give to her that will potentially not hurt or upset her in the slightest about why I cant see her again....(and no dont want to say that it is because her father is my boss or whatever as something like that I know she will try to work around as seems the sort who has got daddy wrapped around her little finger) so any help, ideas, suggestions guys?
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at work, drunk, my boss, one night stand, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Fiona xxx  +, writes (20 May 2008):
 I just hope she doesn't call into work to see her Dad, that would be awkward!
Would she really tell her Dad, surely most people don't tell their parents everything.
Be careful next time, and don't play too near home. Seriously a rotten coincidence.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): You can keep an eye out open for another job, but only if 'you' feel this would be too awkward for YOU. So I agree with maid marian's conclusion...in the logical, legal sense...this was not a work related incident. It was a personal thing. You definitely should not lose your job. If your job position is in any way, threatened because of this, you need to take a strong stand and seek some legal counsel. You cannot be fired simply because you turned down the boss's daughter's advances. That's ridiculous.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Dont make excuses to her, be honest. Say you enjoy her company but you didnt feel the spark. Ive told people that and had it told to me. Ya, maybe it hurts for a minute but you feel much less teh fool than you would texting someone who didnt like you back!
It really shouldnt affect your work at all, I dont think you can legally loose your job over something like this! :-D
Im sure shell understand!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): A situation like this does not get better.She's already texting and calling you.What do you think is going to happen when you continue to blow her off or snub her entirely?When she goes crying to daddy?The proverbial shit hitting the fan is what!Before this comes back to haunt you, best to look for another job.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): I have no "excuses' to give you. Why not try telling her the truth. She's the boss's daughter, you bedded her and now you find here is no spark between you and you no longer want to date her. This is the harsh reality. She wants the relationship to continue. That is her fantasy. You have to be honest and tell her that. The relationship you two had with her was not a work relationship. It was a 'personal' relationship. She should know that and she is also responsible for her behaviors, as well. You don't need to give up your job over this. Accept that there will be some discomfort, some awkwardness and you could piss off her Dad, who happens to be her father. But if he's a good fair man and if he finds out about this--he will make her aware of her own irresponisble behaviors towards herself and help her to understand the consequences of such behaviors.
Take a chance and do not allow anyone to 'blackmail' you into dating them. Be nice and complimentary to her personality, but be absolutely sure to let her know the relationship is not going to go where that she wants it to go. Don't go anywhere near "let's be friends." She will feel you are leaving an opening for her eventually and that's cruel. You need to make it clear that she is free to move on, just as much as you are. Being honest and truthful may hurt at first, but over the long run she will move forward.
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A
female
reader, Aunt Audrey +, writes (20 May 2008):
 This could be a good film script, man unknowingly drunkedly sleeps with boss's daughter and ends up marrying her to keep his job!
There's nothing us aunts and uncles can do here, maybe if she doesn't know where you work and you ignore her she may never know, and move on......
Beer goggles eh!
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Oh dear.OK.... What exactly is it that you are expecting her to tell her father:"Daddy I had a one night stand with that guy *points out you* but he doesn't want to shag me again. Please fire him."I don't think her dad would be too impressed. But if you are really worries and think that she would lie about you to upset your working life then you could just apologise to her.Just say that you were really drunk and that you regret treating her with disrespect, say that you do not usually have one night stands and that you feel ashamed about what you had done. If she then wants things to go further and to develope a relationship with you just say that you are happy being single at the moment due to things that have happened in the past (but mentioning that you like her and would like her as a friend might help).This way she will feel as though you are a nice person and will not want to destroy your working life.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): Sorry, your situation, but it does happen. (LOL) I don't know really know what to say. Honesty is usually the best policy people say. You could try telling her the truth, that you hate yourself because you were drunk and took advantage of her.
Alternatively you were previously a preist and she was your first woman in a long time..... You were worried about your sexuality and you think you might be gay..... The list of lies you could tell are endless.
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A
female
reader, banditsmom1124 +, writes (20 May 2008):
 invite her out for lunch or something and be a total jerk...just hope she doesnt read this column lol!
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A
female
reader, Minelisse  +, writes (20 May 2008):
 LOL... sorry... just have to laugh... what a luck you have there! Maybe an ex girlfriend who you were deeply in love with has come back to your life. That might be why you have not called her but now you think it is best to let her know. You did not want to hurt her feelings and had a great time, but you cannot just let this opportunity go as you love her (the ex) deeply.
Be careful not to be seen flirting with new girls at your job or at a local bar for the next few weeks. Then you can break up with the ex and be so torn you do not want something with anybody.
Good luck, but if she is a good character judge she might be able to tell. Try to be a good actor!
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