A
female
age
30-35,
*unty Emily
writes:guys have you ever been completly faithful to a woman throughout your relationship-I'm starting to wonder whether faithful men are a myth,all my boyfreinds have cheated Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Lots of guys don't ever cheat. Lots of other guys always will.
Don't ever make excuses for anyone. A cheater is a cheater. The problem is not because he's young and immature, it's not because he had the chance, and it's not because you weren't enough for him. He cheated because he is a cheater.
If you keep getting cheaters then it is at least partly due to the way you are choosing guys. I know at least a couple of women in their late 20s who have never been cheated on in their whole lives. They just tend to pick different guys than the ones who get cheated on all the time.
A
male
reader, OzBloke  +, writes (25 September 2009):
I can't speak for all men, but I can give you my perception. As a 33yo man, I can not state I have been around a long time. At the same time, you can hardly accuse me of being too young to know anything!I was married to my wife for fifteen years. Over the course of our marriage I drank with male friends as many men will and talked about sex. My understanding of womens' conversations seems to be that of fulfillment or emotion, based on what little I overheard passing through the house while my wife talked to her friends. Whereas men on the other hand just converse about bravado and conquest.It always seems to come out much the same. Most men, given the opportunity would have sex with another woman. My father cheated on my mother (whom I knew to cheat on him too, but not related to your question), and I've known other family members to have had extramarital intercourse.Most other men (outside my own family) have the same kind of pattern. For most, it comes down to 'if' they have had the chance yet. I have met the occasional man who did not rant about their conquests, but I would consider them the minority.Believe it or not (after reading my post thus far I would not be surprised it you chose the latter), I have never had these relationships outside my marriage. I believed that my wife was 'the one'. I had no interest to hurt her or betray her. My ex (prior to my wife) came to my house with a bottle of rum with some friends one night and she clearly wanted sex. I did not sleep with her.My wife's sister came to my house in a sheer black top with a black lace bra and asked if she could spend the night. Being she was my partner's sister (though we were not yet living together) I of course said yes. She told me all about how her fiance wasn't giving her enough sex and how horny she was. Honestly, she was considered by most men to be the second sexiest woman in that town. I was infatuated with her from the day I met her and I suspected it might have been mutual. That night I was aroused by her and my imagination went wild with possibilities. And that's where it has stayed to this day. Once the conversation ended she decided to get a taxi home.On another occasion I had a neighbour turn up with a bottle of rum. She was quite probably the sexiest woman living in my area at that time and I drank the rum with her. I do regret drinking that rum because I now know how much it hurt my wife when I told her abut it. Near the bottom of the bottle she leaned over and tried to kiss me. I politely told her that I was not interested and she passed out, drunk. I got my landlord to come over and he took her home and had his way with her!One night I met up with my wife's cousins' wife in a pub (My wife was out of town and that is why I had gone to the pub in the first place). She was clearly hot for me as she was drunk and I could tell what her motives were. I introduced her to a mate of mine and he took her home.I have had opportunities, and to this day they are great fantasies I 'finish' in my imagination.Yes, some men do cheat. Maybe even the majority if given the opportunity? But not all men do. Some of us love our partners and to dishonour them is unthinkable. Our fantasies harm nobody and that's where we keep our opportunities. I told my wife of each opportunity including her sister!You will find a good man if you look. They are out there. Everyone deserves to find someone they can trust and love. Yours is out there and I am sure you will find him.
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (25 September 2009):
 Yes, it can happen. I was totally monogamous for over 20 years during my third marriage, and had only one little diversion during a previous marriage in the 1960s. A good man can be faithful if he knows his wife is a good woman.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (25 September 2009):
 I am completely faithful. I could have opportunities not to be, but I choose to be. She's the love of my life, everything I desire and want is in her. Any type of pleasure, she's the one I want to share it with. She's also my best friend. Someone I can really share with. So, why would I do something that would hurt someone I have so much with? Every tear she has, I want to wipe and not be the cause of.
Monogamy is not a myth. Cheating is also not something that just happens, it's not an accident, it's on purpose and it's a choice. Because I love who I'm with, I choose not to.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): Given the age you posted, I'm pretty sure that anything I have to say doesn't really relate to what you're asking. But I'll post anyway.
OK, let's define "complete monogomy". Are we talking intercourse? Feeling up? Kissing?
I first kissed my (now wife) in 1982, and married her in 1988. The only 'affair' was in 1995, when there was serious kissing, and I grabbed her boob. Otherwise I've been a good boy. That is, the only intercourse I had other than my wife was in 1981, before we even dated.
Does that help you at all?
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A
female
reader, unorthodox.philosopher +, writes (25 September 2009):
I know my boyfriend has not and never will cheat on me because he's 9 years older than me. I guess you're still so young, and most guys at your age are meant to be playful and lack deep thought about the consequences and commitments. In 10-20 years of time, a large proportion of this male group tend to tone down their behaviours and become more committed to their partners. While faithful men still exists but just a minor group.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2009): No, not a myth at all.
And yes, there are a lot of cheating men, but there are still many of us that stay happily faithful.
Maybe re-evaluate the type of guys you are choosing.
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A
male
reader, Illithid +, writes (25 September 2009):
 I have never once cheated. I haven't kissed anyone else, much less slept with anyone else, while in a relationship. Ever. Even though my last girlfriend wouldn't even return the favor (in three years, I ate her over 100 times, she gave me less than 10 BJ's), I never even considered someone else on the side.
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A
female
reader, pinktopaz +, writes (25 September 2009):
I'm not a guy, but I'm going to say 3/4 or them do...because I know for sure one did, I know for sure that one didn't, and the other two--I think they did. Of course, it's not an official scientific survey, but apparently I haven't been with the best of the bunch either ;)
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