A
female
age
30-35,
*rettypenny
writes:So about a month ago I found out my boyfriend was watching porn. Mainly on the days when we don't have sex. We've been living together for about two years and I've always been the sexually frustrated one bc I have a super high libido. I usually have to get him in the mood. But lately he's been masturbating to porn at least twice a week, and I think he even watches private web cam shows. He doesn't know I know bc I check the history, but I did confront him about it and he was honest that he did and said he only watches occasionally, and I told him I thought it was cool. I like porn, I have no problem with it. But now I'm wondering if that was a mistake, bc it seems whenever he gets a chance alone with the computer and we haven't had sex that day (bc I had to go to work, etc) he watches porn. We have a really good realtionship, as you can see we are honest and openly communicate about EVERYTHING. Yes we've had our fights but overall we make it through. Should I confront him about this? I personally feel I am just as hot as any porn star out there, I LOVE sex, and I'm faithful AND I cook. I know it doesn't have to do with me not doing certain things in bed, bc I'm also very sexually experimental. My past issues of men being distrustful and disloyal has me on the brink of walking out, what should I do?
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female
reader, prettypenny +, writes (16 April 2011):
prettypenny is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks guys. This helped a lot. It is livejasmin cereberus, so I guess there's no webcam action. It doesn't usually interfere with our sex life, only when he can't keep it in his pants and then I get off work super horny and he's too tired or not in the mood. Other than that, we usually have sex every day and he watches porn on the days we don't. I just wish he would hold his urge and then jump on me.
A
male
reader, Philips  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 Guys- if you're in a good relationship, do you still watch porn?I'll answer this.I'm actually in a great relationship. Our sex life is healthy, i'm satisfied and so is she. We have sex atleast every 2 days, and each one of them last atleast 1.5 hours.Yes, i do watch porn, however i must confess that at times when we are sexually VERY VERY active i don't; simply because i don't have time to and well maybe i should let it rest a little.Guys are more visually stimulated than women. I a way its rather satisfying to watch porn. We don't regard porn as cheating as we truly do not want to have something to do with a porn actress. We know it's all fake, the make-up, the sillicone. But it still stimulate us. We just like the fantasy. I don't think their is any problemabout it.The problem will only arise when their is addiction. Their is a problem if a guy prefer to satisfy himself by watching porn rather than have sex with his girlfriend, who is demanding sex. This is very selfish and is not healthy for a couple. The question is, are you sexually satisfied and can your try to not give too much importance to his porn?
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A
male
reader, Myau  +, writes (16 April 2011):
 My first gf owned a porn video, we would put it on and watch it together.
To be honest.....it depends on who I am with, I like to have sex every day. Not too many girls are willing to do that (usually once a week), so on the off days I use porn.
Im old.... my imagination has been ruined by tv afterall :)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): personally if I am in a good relationship I do not need porn.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): I do and it's not a reflection on my sex life because that's very good. I'll use on days I don't have sex too. It's not an act of replacing my partner or getting sexual satisfaction from another woman, it's just a matter of getting a release, popping one out. My girlfriend uses porn for the same reason. It just makes masturbation quicker, so we don't have to sit there for 10-15 minutes trying to visualize something in our minds and get ourselves going. When we watch porn we get aroused very quickly and can finish of very quickly too. No fuss, no mess and we can get on with our days without giving it a second thought.
Talk to him about the webcam thing, that's a step too far. Both me and my girl have a rule that there's to be no interaction whatsoever, such as sexting someone else, cyber or webcams. Although if the links you have seen are for livejasmin then he hasn't, that website just pops up when you're viewing other porn sites. Trust me it's on every other porn site it's spam advertising and it's really annoying. OP webcam shows aren't free, really there's none that do shows for free, so if you want to know whether he's been looking at those in private then just check your credit card bill.
OP if you're unhappy with your sex life then you need to tell him that, you say you have no problem with porn, well if your sex life is suffering because of it or he's masturbating instead of pleasuring you then tell him that's an issue for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): Its nothing to do with being as hot as a porn star, your emotionally involved when you 2 have sex, porn is just a turn on its impersonal
Sounds as if he's getting addicted though, maybe you should have a chat again, also ask yourself why you feel you have to check his browsing history on the PC? Hes not deleting it so clearly doesn't feel he has to or that he's doing wrong
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (16 April 2011):
the answer ro your quistion is yes
many men do watch porn even when they are sexually satisfied with thier spouses and that doenst mean that they want to cheat at all
and it doenst mean that sexually they are not happy
BUT
watching private cams is a red flag
because the situation is different here
any ways try to observe him quitly and if it is just porn i dont think it is a big deal
just let have his porn
Good Luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 April 2011): Im sorry to hear this miss. In some case there are no middle grounds with pornography in relationships. I think he should quit everything altogether and by simply doing that he will show you many things: including the risk that he'd never cheat since he isnt amused by other women, that he is loyal and wants to put all his sexual energy into you and please you, and importantly, this will show he respects your body and yours alone. He needs to stop and who cares if youre working, he can wait. Whats wrong with a little buildup anyway? Thats always a good thing and to miss each other for the day can make sex that much more exciting. Best on this.
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