A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi. This is a question for Military wives and women who have met men clainming to be US Army personnel.A few months ago I met a lovely man on a dating site. We got talking and he told me he was on his third tour of Afghanistan and his MOS was Engineer and other information about his background. So about 2 days later he said he would call me on the weekend and true to his word he called me with a really deep American accent and what sounded like Military aircraft in the background he said he was just returning on a flight and when he got back we could talk on line. True to his word he did come on line. So from that we talked almost Every night. During this time there was a television programme about women who had been scammed by men claiming to be US soldiers so I watched it and there was a young woman who had been just such a victim. So I told my partner (will call him that) and he became most upset and asked if that is what I thought he was. So he said we had to have trust if we were to continue with this freindship. So we continued as before on the internet every night.Then one evening he said that he had, had a breifing to say they were going on a mission that could be dangerous and would I pray for him and it was important for him to tell me he would be gone for about 3 days so we would not be able to talk. On his return it was the 4th day I asked him how he was and he said he was emotionally tired from what he had seen on the mission and was in a bad way. So we talked and I suggested he go talk to someone. He told me they did have Counsellors there if they needed it. His discription of what happened on the mission was exactly as I then saw it unfold in a news bulletin. I told him I wished I was there to give him some much needed TLC. Not more than 2 days later I think he told me that he had been invited to meet someone whose son he had saved on this mission. I was so proud of him and we talked about it on his return. He even said he was offered a gift but said he couldn't accept it, but then after persuasion did accept the gift. I told him to treasure it and be proud he was invited to meet this man. So we continued to talk I would look at his pictures and think how lucky I was to meet such a really great guy. I would tell him and he said he felt lucky to have met me we were so pleased with each other.Then the dreaded day came. he had a problem would I ring someone on his behalf. He was retiring in January and preparing to get his luggage back to the the States but had an e mail his luggage wasn't going anywhere. It turned he needed MONEY!!!!!! he started to get aggressive on this particular night and I had been to a funeral that day and said to him please don't get angry it isn't like you to behave in this way (as he had been so gentle and warm) he said he was worried about this luggage and would I lend him (the Huge amount) he wanted to free it from customs. So then we had an argument and I said I did not have that kind of money and he said so you don't love me after all or you would help me. So I said look I can't take this aggression tonight. Sort yourself out and get back to me when you have calmed down and signed off....This was last week and never heard from him again...Can't stop crying...keep looking at his pictures and thinking who were you? Crying now can't see the screen to type. They say scammers make mistakes...but he didn't. All his pictures matched even the dating site picture matched the Military pictures. Even his screen name matched his christian name and that he was in the military. I can't seem to pick myself up, I look for him on the internet and can't find him. I am angry with him..and myself, for missing him, but prior to that night last week when he wanted money he was the perect partner to me. So has anyone else been through this with someone claiming to be military and they are not. On the night he asked for money. I asked him to prove who he was. I said ok you must have a number or something and he said you know I can't give it. I know he was a scammer I just can't beleive that he was. I miss him I wrote to him and asked him...what did you think you were doing asking for money when you knew that we had issues over internet scammers. So now I am so sad that I was taken in. He was so Genuine..so sweet.
View related questions:
christian, military, money, the internet Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2011): Thank you all for taking the trouble to reply. I am really grateful. I have asked myself why someone would go to such lengths to eventually try to get money from you. All the false stories and the lies. What is the point? Well it won't happen again. But I really was taken in he was so plausible. Thanks again.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): Just be proud of yourself. He was a cruel, mean scammer. This is classic. Luckily, you have hurt feelings but nothing more. The person you thought you were in contact with does not exist. Thank heavens you saw through the lies. Good for you - take heart.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): Charmers/Abusers http://www.oocities.org/healinghug/166.htmlhttp://abuse101.com/toxicmen.htmlhttp://www.escapeabuse.com/?p=116I always feel better armed when I read articles. I like to know how or why I was duped or fooled. It happens to the Best of Women all because the greatest weapon a Charmer, Abuser, Player, Serial Cheater, Scammer has is a Womans loving, trusting nature. He turns it against her. Women are supposed to be loving, kind. They don't anger or get mad. We are supposed to be GIVING.And we can and do, but its reserved for those who DESERVE and EARN it. At first we give to those because we ideally trust others but once that trust is broken, you sure in the heck should work 10x harder for me to even CONSIDER helping you out. Its just how life is.The other reason why I don't support LDR or Online Relationships. Its not a solid, in the flesh, face to face relationship so anyone can be anyone and uses the honesty and integrity of another while they are not who you think or perceive them to be. This way they do no REAL work. And they only come online to USE you to help them feel better about themselves. Its not honest and there are so many drawbacks.Its best to have local, face to face, people in your life. This way the solidarity of love and the relationship can be put to the test because a Man is there to follow through with ACTIONS as well as his words, daily.Weren't you fortunate to see that broadcast? Seriously. What a blessing. You survived a Scammer with your money in bank. Your heart will mend.But understand, was it real love if it only took how many days for him to get to you?Charmers/Abusers KNOW who to target.The Lonely, The Low in Self Esteem so the best thing a woman can do for herself is to NOT be a victim/target.Before you invest your emotions into a long distance relationship, compare what they say against common sense. Someone who claims to be in love without, sight unseen, never having met you in person, is mostly a scammer or simply unbalanced.Apply the same common sense rules of safe dating online as you would in person. Let friends or relatives know where you are going and when you expect to return when you meet someone from a dating website. Always meet in a public place. Never send money to someone you met online. Especially, never, ever send money via Western Union.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja  +, writes (18 December 2011):
 what you need to realize is that he "wasn't so nice". He was pretending to be someone he was not. The bond or connection you had was not with him, it was with someone he created for the sole purpose to "snag you (your money)."
It's hard for you to understand because you are not that type of person. You won't find answers, I am afraid, because you just don't have that "chip" in you. He wasn't genuine, nice, caring, but most of all, he wasn't real. He knew what kind of person to be so he could draw you in. He was an actor playing a role. He isn't nice. No nice guy would do that.
You'll be fine. Eventually, you will laugh about this and in the end, you have a pretty funny story to tell about on-line dating.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2011): thank you for your reply....That is what I can't understand we built this bond....he was so nice...then out of the blue it is all over...simply because he asked for money. I have looked for answers and can't find any.
...............................
A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (18 December 2011):
I am sorry you had to go through this. A sort of similar thing happened to me. But I was apprehensive all along so I never did build the bond that you two did. (Well one of you did.) In my case, the guy's dating site information didn't match. His photo was much younger than what he said he was. He did have the two day off thing but when he emailed back through the dating site, he sort of got his story mixed up. I already had red flags going off and this was just another one. I decided to play along but was rather aloof. The time did come when he asked for money and I sent an email back saying "oh you poor thing, I am sending you money today." Then I promptly reported the individual to the dating site and blocked him.
It is sad that I was drawn in to a guy like that but when you are hopeful of something more, it's hard to not let your heart's guard down. I did miss him after I blocked him but just because it was something to do. I had no hope at the end, it was just kind of a game I was playing out.
I think the best thing you can do if find the most repulsive image of a mad and when you think of this guy, put that image into your mind. Move forward and realize you learned a very valuable lesson.
All the best.
...............................
|
