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Goth or Diva?

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Question - (31 May 2009) 13 Answers - (Newest, 6 July 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, *over23 writes:

i need help.im going in to middle school and i wanna become a goth or a diva.my friend says if i become a snotty diva she won't be my friend no longer.but my dad says that if i should become a snotty diva to show dont mes with me who should i listen to.it's very hard.i wanna be a girl who hyas friends and njot really popular but for people to know who i really am.please help with your best.thanks!!!hope i can help witany questions for you.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2009):

Here's a crazy idea, don't change to anything, just be you!

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A female reader, r_a_w_r1645 United States +, writes (5 July 2009):

r_a_w_r1645 agony auntokay im 14 and in 8th grade. and i went thru a phase where i wanted to be goth or emo but im over it know, its just something ppl do to get attention. and dont turn into a diva either. ull realize u dont have any friends anymore. just be urself. be the preppy little girl u probably r. cuz its better to be that then something ur not.

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A male reader, Skellington United States +, writes (5 July 2009):

Skellington agony auntI agree with Neboraic, you shouldn't try and make yourself fit into something you're not, it should come naturally.

I'm not entirely sure what you mean by "diva", but if you mean one of those snotty ass girls who think that their shit smells of roses, I pity you.

If you're going to try and fit yourself into a gothic mold, you could be terribly shocked to see how many people make fun of you. It needs to come naturally, and being gothic is more of the mindset of the person in question rather than the look. Sure, you could dress all in black with black nail polish, make up, etc. But you'd be called a poser goth, and believe me, you don't want to be one of those.

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A female reader, Shauniiee babii United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2009):

And beingg yourself isnt an option because?? Chick seriously, be yourself and create your own style!! Trying to be somethingg only gets you lost!!

s x

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A female reader, Legioness United Kingdom +, writes (1 June 2009):

Legioness agony auntBe who you are. Don't conform to what other people are like. Why not be a goth diva? Kinda like myself, but I call it goth chique :) individuality gets you noticed and what a better combination than goth diva. You get the best of both worlds :D

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A male reader, Neboraic United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2009):

Be yourself. Whether its a goth or a diva. There is nothing more annoying than someone trying to be something they are not . Also, it should come naturally, you cant chose to be something (only wannabes choose to be something) if you have to choose to be something and make an effort, then you arent really it, its just acting.

So stop trying and be yourself.

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A female reader, Youngmummy United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2009):

Youngmummy agony aunti used to be popular and a bit of a bitch it didnot work fights started and everything just went down hill

i no a friend who got stabbed for been a goth she is sill alive but not the point

now i am just my self and the happiest i have ever been it woke me up a lot when i had my twins i am only 14 by the way. and you realise how much time you wasted tring to be some one you are not

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009):

Changing your style may not gain you friends, though you will certainly gain attention, but it won't last long. If you want to make more friends then be yourself and interact with more people and join clubs at school. Also your friend wouldn't be a true friend if she did ditch you after changing your look. I think you should wear what you feel comfortable in. Don't change for other people, only for you.

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A female reader, kellyxxx United Kingdom +, writes (31 May 2009):

kellyxxx agony auntJust be yourself! Don't be a goth (they are freaks) don't be a diva (they are bitches) I'm sure people will like you a lot better if you are just normal. X

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009):

If you "become" a certain type of person to please other people, you will be constantly changing who you are, because there will always be people who don't like you, just as there will always be people who will.

The friends who are worth your effort are the ones who respect you for who you really are. The other friends...well, as soon as being a goth/dive/whatever goes out of fashion, they will probably just leave behind their old friends and move on. Which is quite shallow.

I know it is hard, because people seem to need to label everything. When I was at school, I didn't fit neatly into one category, so I had some hassle too. But the friends I did make back then were genuine, and liked me for me.

Try to be strong and be yourself, you are good enough just as you are! x

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A female reader, Unonymous United States +, writes (31 May 2009):

Unonymous agony auntI don't think you should answer either. this concept affects many girls in the world, believe it or not. be who you are. if someone mess's with you, you tell them to back off, because you have friend and family support. if you choose to be goth or diva, you are not being who you are. or are you?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 May 2009):

Don't try to be someone you're not. I promise you, you won't be happy in the end. The idea of assuming an alter ego/stereotype for the purpose of going to middle school is ridiculous. Good luck.

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A female reader, kaylynn United States +, writes (31 May 2009):

kaylynn agony auntYour dad is a jackass. Don't try to be a hardass, just be yourself. You'll have a hard time keeping up with the lies you've created rather than enjoying YOU.

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