A
female
age
41-50,
*owerhouse
writes:I'm currently in a relationship with a man that I won't to marry but I fill as though I am not enough for him I've told him how I feel about him conversating with other women it really make me fill uncomfortable once I got into a relationship with him I cute all lines of communication off with the opposite sex because I was my mate to be my everything and I want that but he makes me feel like I'm not enough for him I love him I'm actually in love with him but I don't think I can take much more of this it's getting to the point that I'm going through his phone because I dont trust him please help me? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Powerhouse +, writes (28 November 2009):
Powerhouse is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to than k u for ur advice I appreicate it greatly
A
female
reader, AuntyEm  +, writes (28 November 2009):
 Its not enough to possess someone in a relationship and such behaviour will not make them more faithful or make them stay with you. People are in relationships because they want to be there. Trust has to be built and both sides need to feel comfortable in order to be able to express themselves fully and freely to eachother.
Placing conditions on your partner such as ' he must break all ties with anyone from the opposite sex because that's what you have done' will not make him feel more secure, it will make him think you are trying to control him. You have your own reasons for not feeling good enough for him, it's probably a little low self esteem.
If you think that you don't deserve to be with him, then eventually he is going to feel the same. Men particularly like to think they have won the heart of someone special in some way. If you convey to him that 'your not worthy' he may try to please you for a while but eventually he will believe your no good and he will move on.
Relationships are very complex, even if we get so far down the line, invest time and effort in someone, any cracks or problems that are there will begin to destroy the relationship if we dont address what we truly want.
You need to boost yourself esteem and perhaps talk through any issues you have regarding jealousy, then you will learn the skills to overcome such negative thoughts.
Good luck
Aunty Em xxx
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A
female
reader, Roadster73 +, writes (28 November 2009):
 I have been down the road you r currently on...as soon as my partner went in the shower I was like a whippit going through his phone... I don't know about u but it's not a nice feeling, I used to feel sick as I was doing it & give myself a huge knot cause I was scared of finding things... A few times I found things & blow it out if proportion... Then it would turn into it being about me snooping & not about what was on his phone... I got to the point I almost lost the plot with it all.. So I made the decision not too do it anymore.. Cause I only hurt myself & at the end if the day.. Me constantly checking up on him is not going to stop him cheating infact it just makes him more sneaking & shady?? All I am trying to do now is make the relationship so much fun & full of happiness love & sex that hopefully that will stop him straying?? But thing is if he is going to cheat, he will.. No amount of checking up will change that!!
Good luck too you, I really do know what u r currently going through & it's bloody hell
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