A
male
age
36-40,
*hirteenthsoar
writes:I've been with my girl friend for a while and i get texts, emails, messages on facebook, all telling me how great i am. What a nice kind guy I am. And a true gentleman. She tells me she enjoys it when i come over and spend time with her and her kids. Yet when i come over, only her kids want me around and spend time with me. She is different. It is like she doesn't want me around. she tells me that if i do something wrong she will tell me. but why is there tension between us when i'm around and she only shows her love and appreciation when i'm away from her?
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (28 April 2012):
 thirteenthsoar,
You are worried over something that could make your relationship difficult. To put it bluntly you two have restricted communication. Many people find communicating online / via text easier than say Phone communication or face to face communication. In online / text communication there is an opportunity to edit before you hit send. Also you don't stammer or blush. Well you may but it isn't seen. That can make that kind of communication more accurate, or it could cover up some lies. Another possible problem is the presence of her young children. She may be protecting herself from heckling by not exposing them to lovey stuff. Try to arrange to spend time with her away from the kids. That will help her relax.
I think the most likely problem is that you two are using different "love languages". From your description of her messages she prefers to say "I love you" by sending you specific messages about what she likes about you. You would prefer to her that message by her spending more time close to you. First understand what she is saying with those messages, and don't reject them. Second help her to understand your "love language".
Communication is so important in a relationship that you two should really be talking to each other about this. I really don't think she is using text to hide a dishonesty with you.
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