A
male
age
30-35,
*L20
writes:Hi people!I'm seriously lost in a discussion with myself whether I accept it or not, but already when I'm doubting, I already know I don't... Anyhow.My girlfriend and her best friend are both bisexual and they have had a tight relationship as friends for a couple of years. However, what bothers me is the fact that they literally are treating each other as if there were in a relationship.When ever they're drunk, and it doesn't matter if I'm there or not, they'll make out and give each other lap dances and just mess around really... And when sober, they're always texting, and it's not just about how they're doing or issues, it's literally, "I love you so much, you're everything to me, I can't live without you, you're the best thing in my life, I love you babe." etc etc... I can usually cope with my jealousy, but the fact that it's always these... things... and when ever we speak about the past, she always seem to change the story around of all of those involving her best friend.
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best friend, drunk, I love you, jealous, lapdance, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (30 December 2016):
 If you had a best friend who was a girl and you behaved like this do you think your girlfriend would find it appropriate? If the answer is no then leave. It shouldn't matter if it is a woman or a man. We should respect our partners and not do things like that. You are justifying what she does because it is with a woman, if it was with a man you would be a lot more annoyed I think. I couldn't be with someone like this. It is okay to be close to a friend, but giving each other lap dances is just ridiculous.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 You already know what the score is here.
I appreciate that the younger generation seem to have "closer" friendships than was the norm years ago. However, your girlfriend's disregard for your feelings will eventually eat away at you and make you feel worthless.
Have you told her how her behaviour makes you feel? If you have and she still carries on, then wish her well and leave them to it. You deserve better.
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A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (21 December 2016):
 Haha only FOUR TIMES. What. She's totally disrespectful and immature, get rid of her ASAP.
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A
female
reader, Eagle'sfan1986 +, writes (20 December 2016):
When you say she is besexual do you mean she is into both men and women or is she becoming a lesbian? It can be uncomfortable for a man to see his gf flirting with her best friend since they are both acting like a couple by doing all of the things with eachother while drunk if she is into her friend then you two need to question the relationship with eachother and see if there is still sparks in y'alls relationship. If not then you both need to end it for good.
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A
female
reader, [?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] +, writes (20 December 2016):
![[?]BitterSweetFinale;[?] agony aunt](/avatars/7bb1e9ea-6c2f-43b8-a4f7-0635b7eff08c.png) I'd wrap up the final chapter to this story before she ends up having sex in front of you. I'm sorry but what she is doing isn't okay. That's disrespectful to do that to your partner, irregardless if it's their friend.
There's a difference between being friendly and being physical. It sounds like they are already making it clear that they want to be together. You have the right to be jealous, a good partner wouldn't cheat on you behind your back or in front of you. That's not normal behavior, to constantly talk about the other person, texting them those sorts of things. I admit I've told my friends I've loved them, but it's never reached the heights of making out with them and talking to them as if they're my partner instead of a friend.
The act of cheating on your significant other is wrong. The decision is clear as hell at this point.. It's good you at least admit that what she's doing isn't okay. You deserve better, there are more fish in the sea. I wish you the best of luck-- and I hope you let her know where you stand.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (20 December 2016):
 If they weren't making out and being sexual towards each other, I'd say it's actually alright to value your best friend so highly (with the exception of constantly prioritising her).
Just leave her; she's cheating and you don't want that.
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A
male
reader, FL20 +, writes (20 December 2016):
FL20 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI really appreciate the answers, guys. :)
But sure, I mean, she had a rough time where her best friend was there for her... and she does help her best friend with guys and girls she does like, but they're always being playful and such when they're together.
Apparently the lapdances has only occurred like 4 times to "see if they were good at it." but she prioritizes her best friend constantly, they literally have a bond where they'd do anything for each other, which is pretty fucked...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 December 2016):
 Definitely NOT her sexuality. THAT is just an excuse that she uses for this "friendship".
My guess is they BOTH want a same sex relationship, but aren't ready for EVERYONE around them to know this. So your GF dates YOU.
Personally, this IS cheating. Emotionally cheating.
I'd let her go, it's not even a hard one for me. She isn't going to change. IF she was dating this BFF she would eventually look for someone else to have on the side. Again, NOT because she is bisexual, but because she WANTS to.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (20 December 2016):
 Oh and yes, of course this has nothing to do with her being bisexual. A cheat is a cheat, sexuality has nothing to do with it.
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A
female
reader, chigirl +, writes (20 December 2016):
Best friend and her acting as if they're in a relationship? Well, maybe they are.
I don't see why you should try to not be jealous, anyone would be in your shoes. We tend to NOT like being cheated on, and just because she chooses to do it right in front of your eyes does not make it any less cheating.
If you're in an exclusive relationship that also means no lap dances or making out with anyone else, even if they are your so called "best friend".
Take bisexuality and gender out of the equation here. Lets say she was heterosexual and her best friend was a male. Would you still try to be so accepting of her behaviour? No.
Tell her it ends now: either her inappropriate behavior ends or the relationship with you will.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (20 December 2016):
This is cheating, not her bisexuality. She even has the guts to cheat on you in front of you because she thinks she can get away with "my bisexuality" or "she's just my bests friend".
Bisexual people don't automatically cheat because they're bisexual, so that's not the issue here. Her cheating behaviour is the issue.
If she won't stop this (which she won't, as is clear in her texts), you need to find someone who won't cheat.
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