A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:my girl likes to hang out her guy frends but some of them shes slept with should i be okay with that Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Too Sensitive +, writes (15 December 2008):
Well, I know from personal experience that this situation can wreak havoc on a relationship.
I have been friends with a guy for close to 20 years. We never hung out alone, just the 2 of us, until after he got separated from his wife (and they ultimately divorced, as she was having an affair with one of his best friends behind his back). We decided to cross the line and date and sleep together, but vowed that if it did not work out, we would always stay friends regardless. Well, it did not work out dating, and we remained friends after the fact. We only hung out - it was never "friends with benefits" as they say. I just had no desire to sleep with him ever again, though I knew if I gave him the green light, that he would go for it.
When I met my fiance, it had been over a year, maybe 2, since the last time I had slept with my "friend". I never had any desire to sleep with him again, and still don't. He is just a friend who happens to be male is all.
However, my fiance is extremely jealous of him, b/c I was honest and told him everything that happened, to the point that my fiance does not even want to be in the same room with my friend. He can't stand the thought that I slept with this guy, even though it was years ago. So, to keep the peace, I only talk to my friend by phone once every few months, and I tell my fiance when I do so. But I do miss his friendship. However, I value my relationship with my fiance more, and if this is what I have to do to keep the peace, so be it. Even though I swore up and down never to allow any other man tell me who I will and who I won't be friends with. I've broken my own rule. But, we have to live together under the same roof, and we are engaged to be married. My concern at times is whether or not he will try to exert his influence and opinions and restrict me in other areas of my life. Sometimes I feel as though he just wants me all to himself and has a possessive side to him.
It can be a difficult situation. I don't think it's appropriate for your gf to hang around with these guys unless you are there too, if it bothers you.
In this day and age of cheating, it can be tough to trust someone in this situation. If it makes you uncomfortable, tell her. If you are okay being in the same room with these guys, then by all means do it, so that your gf does not have to make a choice between you and them. B/c if given an ultimatum, she may choose them, so be prepared.
A
male
reader, Boredatwork  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 Did she sleep with them before you meet? If so just get to know them, as your together now.
You may find it earier if you know these friends also.
If shes is still sleeping with them (you did not make it clear in your question) then this is not ok, and get out of the relationship now.
...............................
A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 December 2008):
 NO.
...............................
|
