A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi - I have been with my girlfriend for about 2 yrs. However, during foreplay (or anytime) she will not perform oral sex on me. She has done on a handful of occasions in the past, and I perform oral sex on her regularly because she enjoys it, just the same as me. Recently I have discussed this with her and she says the only reason for not is having a sore throat, but this has been going on for nearly 12 months! I know she has never been shy in the past. Any advice would be great. Thanks in advance!
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foreplay, oral sex, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, auntyR +, writes (24 February 2011):
it's obvious. The girl just does not like giving oral sex.
It's not for everyone. When i first gave a guy head i didn't enjoy it at all and said to myself never again, but then with the next boyfriend i really started to enjoy it and liked seeing him enjoy it. But if it;s not for her then you can't pressure her into giving it to u.
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker  +, writes (23 February 2011):
 Personally I never let a sore throat prevent me from giving oral sex, so I'd assume she doesn't want to do it and would rather use this excuse than say it out loud. I'd suggest discussing it with her, and if she is not comfortable with it, then that is something you will have to accept.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): Does she have asthma or other chronic sinus problems? If so, the frequent sore throats might be legit. Does she ever mention sore throats other than when she wants to get out of oral? If not, and there's no signs of problems with her throat or sinuses other than not giving oral, it's probably an excuse.
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A
male
reader, serenity80 +, writes (22 February 2011):
If she used to do it, but doesn't anymore, then maybe along the way in your relationship she realised she doesn't have to do it to keep you happy and interested in her. You need to show her otherwise. If she knew this was a part of sex that was necessary in your relationship for it to continue, I'm sure the sore throat would clean up.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2011): in some situations hygeine some times plays a big part to it. i wont let my Fiancee go near me unless he has had a shower. sometimes you need to set the mood, if your pushing some one to do it then maybe they dont fancy it. my advice would be have a shower, use cented body wash, then spray ur aftershave on, maybe a little down there wouldnt hurt, then set the mood in your bedroom, or if this fails, and strepsills dont work, then it might be a underlined problem. x
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Maybe she is scared that she wont be good at it, or maybe she's just the sort of person who doesnt really like giving oral. Try not to push the subject too much, there are other ways of pleasing people
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A
male
reader, Captain Ziggy  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Your problem is one of a lot of relationships, yet it truly is the backbone of any good, and lasting relationship. Honesty dude, honesty! Relationships require total honesty to function in the best way. Shes obviously not being honest with you here. If she hasn't been willing to go down on you in 12 months, then its certainly not her throat; she has a real problem doing it for some reason, she doesn't like doing it. You need to find out why. I suggest talking to her at some point when you can both sit down and and concentrate on whats going on. It could be that you have funky tasting spunk man lol. You have to let her know that you're ok with whatever her reason is, and that you only want to know because its on your mind - and as a couple you both need to get past it. Shes uncomfortable discussing it, so you have to find a way to make her comfortable. Discuss it rationally, see what the issue is, and then discuss a possible way to deal with it. Above all dude, you've gotta both be honest.
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A
male
reader, ClearEyes +, writes (22 February 2011):
This will be interesting, because an identical post by a female just went up yesterday. Im excited to see how different the responses are.
I would say that you need to explain to her the ide of give and take, your giving it to her, so she should return it. If you were a girl asking why a guy doesn't go down on you, you would be told that your boyfriend was selfish. Seeing as you are a male, people are going to "shame on you" and tell you to wait and make her comfortable. My advice would be, like I said, describe the idea of give and take, unless you don't care bout getting oral either way, I mean I'd be content with it being one sided, but thats just me.
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A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (22 February 2011):
 Maybe she finds oral sex repulsive and is afraid of telling you, are you nice and clean and sweet smelling when you want oral. To be honest nothing is a turnoff more than a man who has not washed/washed properly...
Maybe she was abused in some way, unless you have a serious heart to heart talk with her, you are not going to know what is really behind her not wanting to give you oral.
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