A
male
age
36-40,
*arrow85
writes:im 26 tomorrow and have never felt so alone and unloved im an extreamly caring person and have a big hart i would say im attractive stocky in build blue eyyes dark hair around 6ft.My ex finished me 2days ago for the 3rd time 3 years on the trot, around my birthday always before an i dont understand, if someone loves you why they do these things. Things havent been perfect for us we have had alot of ups and downs when we first met she wasnt realy my type but after spending several months with her i realised i realy started to loved her an i thought she felt the same, shed been on hoiday just afte we started going out and i picked her up from the airport to whisked her back to mine on the way joking id asked "so did you do anything with anyone, i bet u slept with xxxxx didnt ya" which was her step brother that shed known a few years previouse after her mum re married which i expected her to laught of and tell me to shut up but their was a gulp which at the time i knew, but she denied any such thing an swore on her mums life when the converstation got alittle more seriouse that shed done nothing with no on. she found out she was pregnant after a few months and i was told it was mine still together i was over joyed and named my first daughter i was in love so mutch the happiest man alive my daughter was born and i noticed after 5 months her hair was ginger you could only make it out in the light as her head went orange in the sun i questioned wheather she was mine and the worst happend she told me she had slept with her step brother on holiday and that the baby could be his i was as you can imagen angry disgusted, hurt, upset, i couyldnt stop vomiting, she then decided to finish it as she felt it was never going to work after that, we talked and i asked her why and after her pleeding that she thought the baby was mine she told me i was a mistake she couldnt undo but swore she thought it was mine we decided to give it another go im very loyal to people i love and have always known that love isnt perfect and you need to work at a reletionship for it to work. So she moved back home an so did i cos at the time id lost my job and was struggling and she didnt want to work at all up untill the birth and for 12 months after, so she could spend time with the baby she then finihed it just before the babies 1st birthday which is 8 days before mine she said its not working and that she didnt love me anymore again hart broken i tried to move on but i couldnt id bonded with my daughter and she had with me, an i still loved her, the same thing happend the year after at the same time for the same reasons an again she told me shed fallen out of love with me but again after a few weeks of being without each other the txs started again and the relationship was back on, things carried on as normal whilst all the time shes wanteing another baby, one with me, shes nineteen now and still living at home with no job in the pipline i told her no its not right we should be financaly stable before we can do that, then she told me she was pregnant again and i told her no not yet its a bad time i told her i loved her very mutch and i wernt going anywere and me being 25 an her 19 we had loads of time for a family so she got an abortion we carrried on for the next twelve months having similar upsets and she told me she didnt love me and i asked why ? she said it wasnt going anywere an i said were do you want it to go she replied i want use to be a family i said but we carnt afford it an she argued constantly going on about how mutch benefits we would get how easy it would be, but being older and from previouise experience with her new that wasnt going to be the case and refused saying we have time why cant we just try an be happy for a while she again agrees an we continue, i then start telling her she needs to get a job for self asteam and confidence so she wasnt waiting for me all the time to take her out or pick her up being board, an she did she got a bar job i was so proud of her she isnt that type of person her moms a gold digger and a benefit scrounger but iv always impressed to her that you need to work to be happy she has some of those trates like her mum but knows its wrong and knows her mum is to as we have discussed it.a couple of days ago i went to pick her up from work unanounced as i had no credit on my pnone when she saw me she seemed suprised and i got the impression the barman she was working with was to with look on his face, i asked her if she wanted a lift home an she refused and stummbuled im going my sisters for tea i said ok an left as i felt i wasnt wanted i went home knowing she was going to end it an sure enough a few hours later i got a tx no phone call a tx its not working i dont love you anymore its not anything you have done iv realy tried to make this work. again days before my birthday im falling apart even though this girl has hurt me so mutch i still lover her an miss the babie so mutch i can close my eyes as everytime i do i see them both i cant sleep im vomiting all the time an i cant make sense of it my family are warning me away from her an i cant tx her because id feel like a mug agian an i dont know whats worse losing 2 people you truly love or feeling like a door mat im afraid ill never meet anyone again or feel for them like i do her, even though shes hurt me so much i wish someone would come along and take the hart ake away. Im changing my life now getting fit quiting bad habbits like smokin draw but i need a women i need affection
View related questions:
abortion, confidence, ginger, living at home, move on, on holiday, unloved Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): Dude you need this woman like you need cancer. The best day of your life was when this woman revealed herself and her true nature.A human being is born alone and dies alone. You only have a limited amount of time in your life..if you knew you had say 1 year to live would you waste it on someone who continually hurts you and makes you feel so bad? Heck no!GO AND LIVE YOUR LIFE! You quit the fags, do some p90x, live your life to the full!You will meet someone who values you and RESPECTS you!This girl knows eventually she can come back into your life and you'll let her, watch what happens when you stop taking her phone calls and ignoring her texts.Move on buddy, life is for happiness and joy and she doesn't give you this, only misery...who wants that!Respect yourself first, this is not good enough, being someone else's second choice is not good enough. You are the first and the last!Good luck!
A
female
reader, Smileypants  +, writes (29 April 2011):
 What dirtball said X 3! Man, some people are just bad news, and wreak havoc on your life, and she is one of them. Good luck, stay strong. It hurts now, but I promise it won't forever.I speak as someone who has been through that kind of pain, vomiting and all. YOU make the break, YOU make it final. Give us an update later :o)
...............................
A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (28 April 2011):
 I cannot add to what Dirtball has said. His advice is pure gold. Except maybe to say this: give YOURSELF a good birthday present - tell her goodbye now and for the rest of your life. She doesn't deserve you.
...............................
A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (28 April 2011):
 This pattern will continue as long as you let it, and it will keep getting worse for you each time. The truth is, she doesn't love you, and never really has. I also doubt the baby is yours, unless you actually did a paternity test. Really, she's just selfish, immature, and sort of crazy. I know you love her, but she's really bad news man.
You do not NEED affection. You NEED to work on your issues and give yourself time to grieve for this relationship. If you rush out and try to fill the void it's left in your heart, you'll just end up feeling more empty. You need time to heal and get over her. Time to focus on yourself, be selfish, decide what you want out of your life and out of a partner. Time to understand what you cannot see about her right now because your love blinds you. Really, she's a shitty person, and with time, you'll realize that too
Please break this cycle. You might want to get a paternity test, and if that baby IS yours, then fight for custody. I think you would be better for your daughter than this child of a woman.
...............................
|
