A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:For the past two months are so I've been engaging in a friends with benefits. He and I started seeing eachother after we met for the first time through mutual friends. Neither of us were really looking for relationships, we ended up enjoying eachothers company, and a friends with benefits eventually panned out.Well for the past few weeks this guy has been acting extremely weird. He's been being extra romantic, and has been trying to hold my hand, kisses my forehead, etc. He has also made the sex a lot more romantic. I know a lot of guys ARE just romantics, but since during the first month of our relationship we would just be a lot more playful and crazy, its starting to feel like we are more on the lines of making love. He even goes as far as playing depressing love songs... yes, depressing. We also have been having a lot more indepth conversations, and he cares more about cuddling at the end than even I do. He gets his feelings hurt whenever he sees me talking to another guy, and if I don't want to spend the night with him because I have to get up really early or something he gets outright offended. He's also extremely attentive and makes sure I'm never cold and will basically do anything I ask of him (not that I take advantage of this). Also, before he would always keep his options open, and I was more like a booty call to him. Now we've been making plans to get together several days in advance, and for every night of the weekend.I was thinking that since we didn't actually know eachother before we hooked up, he possibly has gotten to know me and now realizes he's actually interested in me. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about this situation, but I don't want to continue leading him on... also if I'm wrong, I don't want to freak him out by asking him!! I know this sounds sexist, but you always hear about the girls getting the feelings in these situations, never the guys.What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): I think you need to talk to him about it, and see what he wants, so that you are both straight with each other.
A
female
reader, monkey friend +, writes (8 October 2010):
Hhmm, this is a perfect example of why sex shouldn't be involved in relationships. 1) Usually the girl lets him have sex too soon and 2) this is the one I like~wait until marriage! If you do this you will know if he's in the relationship for you or just for sex.
For any relationship to work both parties must be mutally into the other. "Nice guy" is different than "life partner".
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A
male
reader, lionelhutz +, writes (8 October 2010):
From the picture you paint he definitely seems to have developed feelings for you. If you don't want to lead him on, the best thing is to talk to him. Better to get it out in the open and deal with it now than down the line.
best of luck
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): Just talk to him about it. Ask him if he's starting to fall in love with you.
It does sound like he's becoming very attached to you.
Well at least you learned a lesson that FWB's don't work.
One person always develops feelings for the other, never both. If it was going to be both people falling for each other then it wouldn't have been FWB's it would be dating.
Try and avoid them in the future, they might look good on sex and the city but when you're the one who falls in love it can be painful.
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A
male
reader, slimfish  +, writes (8 October 2010):
 and your'e complaining?.......
millions of girls would trade places with you in an instant.
it just go's to show some people are never4 happy,lol.
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A
female
reader, maid_of_stone  +, writes (8 October 2010):
Lol they do tho trust me! First u need to work out whether u want this to go anywhere because if u dont u hav to tell him as it sounds like he's goin to try to talk to u about it soon. Maybe he's got what I like to call "puppyface syndrome" I went through a stage where I didnt want anything serious because I didnt want to get hurt again and I like a guy who gives as good as he gets as im pretty sarcastic and a bossy bitch tbh. After a while the hook ups I had stopped answering back and became annoyingly obeidient and had this weird eager look in their eyes aka puppyface syndrome. Its the equivelant of treat 'em mean, keep 'em keen and frankly off putting lol he may only want u because u act like u dont want him and he needs the challenge of winning u over. Good luck with whatever u decide to do and I hope I helped x
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