A
female
age
30-35,
*onfusoholic
writes:To cut a long story short...I was in love with a guy a couple of years ago...pursued him like hell (ok i made a fool of myself) but he was not interested...so it was basically one sided.A couple of months ago i met him. After a gazillion years. It was sweet...we went out for dinner,he dropped me back home. I felt happy. No butterflies this time though.Now we talk once in a while over the phone. He's in a different city...actually 3 hours to be precise.I was actually planning to pay that city a visit as a lot of my friends are staying there. So i was planning to go this SAT (which is also my birthday). I texted a couple of buddies; including him to enquire if they would be free.Well after 2 days i got a call from him...we spoke for almost an hour. (which is an accomplishment consideringhow quiet he generally is. So he was like, " i have a couple of exams to study but sure, if you wanna come i;ll definitely meet you."Me:Are you sure? I son't want to interrupt your studies as they are more important. We can meet some other time.Him: No, its fine. By the way; where are you planning to put up? I have a place if you want. I mean i'll be studying but you can crash in whenever you want; its not a problem.Me: Um...ok i'll let you know. Take care...i'll keep you updated.Ok i freaked out. I mean...to be frank he's shown no interest in me apart from us being good friends...the point is my emotions are going over the hill...i don't know if i should take up his offer or decide to stay in a motel...Because the point is...i get to meet him so rarely i would love to catch up with him and talk to him through out the night :). But then i am also scared that i'll bug him or irritate him...and i don't want to interrupt his studies. Nor do i want to fall in love with him again .What should i do!!!!!!!!!!
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female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (24 May 2011):
 Good to hear it worked out and that you enjoyed your birthday........you had your head screwed on straight (as the saying goes) and knew what you want and did not want.
He clearly respects you, and that's to his credit. It goes to show that not all men are "out for what they can get" ....many are decent guys, in fact......
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2011): Good for you. It's always nice to hear of rarities. Enjoy.
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A
female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (22 May 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the question Well just to let everyone know. I DID stay with him. HE was a perfect gentleman...made no moves. We went out for dinner and a movie...chatted into the wee hours of the night...he made breakfast for me; after which he dropped me off at the station and i'm back home. It was the best birthday ever. :) Even if i can't have him; i'm glad i spent it with him...and i know i sound rude but i am glad he proved all of you wrong :) :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 May 2011): His only interest in you is sex. Get a hotel room, and party up your vacation with your friends. Do not invite him nor meet up with him. He's not your friend. He's an insensitive, heartless user. Put him in his place; Shut him down with the "permanent adios."
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A
female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (20 May 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut thank you anyhow for your inputs :)
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A
female
reader, confusoholic +, writes (20 May 2011):
confusoholic is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not going to have sex with him...if that's what everyone thinks. Its just that i had feelings for him once upon a time and i don't want them to return :(
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A
male
reader, cute guy +, writes (20 May 2011):
 Sorry but this guy wants to be friends with benefits. He will probably wanna sleep with you, but not a relationship which is only going to hurt you in the end. Motel it for now and if he really wants more....let him prove it! Let him pursue you instead. If he doesn't you'll know I was right.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2011): Take up his offer and stay over at his place. have some fun together!!!
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (20 May 2011):
I'm with Vintage64 on this one. Get a motel and see him with your friends and see how it goes.
It wouldn't be a good idea to sleep with him because as you say, you see him pretty infrequently and there may not be much chance for a real relationship to develop. Relationships do take time, and need the opportunity to meet and go out on a regular basis.
So: sleeping with him might be fun st the time, but you have to consider how you'd feel if it was a one-off event without a commitment - especially since you tell us he wasn't really interested in you romantically before this....(unless he feels differenty now - and frankly, that's an unknown quantity at this point).
Give it some thought and don't let yourself get all freaked out emotionally.......
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Stay at his place...it will be less money...however yes...you will be expected to sleep with him. Does that help you make up your mind? Sounds like you want him to anyways. win win situation
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 May 2011): Stay in a motel, but invite him out with you and your mates for your birthday and see how it goes from there.
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