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Found womanly things under his sink, I stormed out and now he won't talk to me.

Tagged as: Cheating, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (7 April 2011) 5 Answers - (Newest, 7 April 2011)
A female United States age 41-50, *upidlover89 writes:

Why is this guy ignoring me!???

Ok, I have this guy friend who I have been just seeing for 5 years. A couple of days ago, I found a lot of womenly things underneath his bathroom sink. I questioned him about it and asked if he had a girl living with hin or if he had a girlfriend. He acted like he had no idea all that stuff was there and responded very short. He said he had no girl living there. I got very upset because I felt lied to, and I just wanted to know the truth. I stormed out of his house, and sent some text messages later accusing him of lying and said some mean things. He finally responded and said after what I said to him he had no answer for me. Every since then he ignores my messages and I still have not heard from him (it has been 4 days)... I want to know why he could be ignoring me? I just wanted to know the truth, and in the past we have been very open with eachother, and usually let eachother know when we are dating other people.

Why all of a sudden is he ignoring me? And why can't he confess???

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2011):

In the past he has acted the same way if I was dating someone else. He even told me I cannot see him if I was seeing the other guy. So I don't feel like I was wrong for being upset about his lies, not the other girl the LIE!

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A male reader, yesno United States +, writes (7 April 2011):

He's been using you for 5 years. He's not calling because you're expendable. Let him go.

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A female reader, tam elaichi Malaysia +, writes (7 April 2011):

Dear cupidlover89,

Some guys DO have interests for womanly stuffs like nail polish, facial products, slimming creams and any others sorts..5 years and you still dont trust your guy friend? Come on...

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A female reader, Lexie88 Australia +, writes (7 April 2011):

Lexie88 agony auntHe's obviously seeing someone else and it sounds like it's getting somewhat serious. He probably didn't like that fact that you found this other girl's things in his bathroom so he's ignoring you as he doesn't know how to handle it. Perhaps he's come to a place where he now has to decide to either become serious with this girl and drop you or to keep you around. So he's keeping things to himself for now.

What does 'just seeing him for 5 years' mean? Sleeping with him with no committment? If that is correct, you don't really have any right to question him about other women or accuse him of anything. He's not committed to you and there is no need for him to tell you anything.

It sounds like you're interested in much more with this guy than you let on and that is why this incident upsets you so much.

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A female reader, charliesdevil73 United States +, writes (7 April 2011):

charliesdevil73 agony auntOk, let me get this straight. You are just seeing this guy, you can date other people and you get mad at him because he might be doing just that? That's why he's mad at you and won't talk to you. You have been his fwb for five years and now you're acting like a jealous girlfriend. You can't be both. I think first of all you need to decide if this made you jealous and if you really want more out of this current arrangement. Secondly, you need to apologize for how you acted and hope he will forgive you. And if you stay fwb, don't freak out if he is dating someone else. Like you said, you usually tell each other when you're dating someone else. If you want to know everytime, you need to tell him that.

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