A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Im in the middle of a break up from the man who made my life loads better and wanted to marry me. We loved each other so much but things took its toll on us and Ive gone through something that a person never should which traumatised me, I dont really want to say what happened but it made us start arguing. I took things out on him and did chucked him out. He now has to live with his mother after giving up his flat tolive with me. He cant forgive me and Ivr kind of made him drpressed. Ive tried apolgising, Ive tried my best to make it up but he now keeps breaking up with me every other day. He tells me its over then changes his mind. I decided to make it easier for him by saying id give him space, delete his phone number and asked him to block.me from emails, facebook, his phone so I cant contact him and it would be up to him if he ever spokr to me again. He refuses to block me and pushes money through my door to make sure Im not struggling with bills. He doesnt want me anymore but he will still do that. What do you think I should do. Im trying not to contact him but he refuses to block me then i send stupid i miss you texts and messages. Do you think he is going to evet come back. He says he hates me but then gives me money. What the hel is going on in his head!
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female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 July 2013):
 I agree with Ernie, you are acting a bit nutty!!
If the relationship is over, which seems to be the case then you both need to stop contacting eachother!!
I think he is concerned for you, but no longer wnats to be with you and you are misreading his giving you money as a sign he wants to come back...I don't think he does...he's just making sure you don't jump off a bridge or something (because men can't really deal with the crazy clingy stuff)
I am sorry you had a life trauma, there are people in place to help you deal with it, it should not have been laid on him! He can be supportive if he knows you are getting help but dealing with someone so traumatised and unbalanced on a day to day basis is not that appealing!
You are not in the right place in your life to get back with him, but it may not be dead in the water. You have to get yourself right, give him some time and space to recover and maybe you can start talking again in the future.
Contact your GP and ask them to refer you for counselling!
Good luck and I hope you find some peace.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2013): He is concerned for your welfare. He knows your behavior is due to your trauma. He will move on eventually; once he feels you are capable of handing your problem on your own, and can sufficiently support yourself.
He wants to move on; but he can't, knowing you are in such a vulnerable state. He feels responsible for you.
If you wish no contact, and don't want to keep his money.
Place it in an account to return to him. Don't use it.
Do not accept his calls or e-mails. He is checking up on you.
Seek professional help for your problem. When you feel strong enough, return his money. Let him know you have sought help and you are capable of living on your own. Thank him for his concern and support.
If you're acting like a crazy lady, you're just making his life miserable. He's trying to tell you that you need help.
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