A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:For the guys only:A lot of women write on this site that thier significant other views porn and it makes them feel insecure as the porn stars are well endowed with fake boobs. In addition, the women write they are inundated by the media with images of women with great bodies and they feel they inadaquate. My questions is , I am noticing ads with a lot of half naked men such as Abercrombie and Fitch. And , more men posing for Playgirl Levi Johnson, Chippendale dancers etc. With images of men being exposed as sex objects does that have a negative affect on a males self esteem? If a man is watching a movie with his girlfriend and in the movie they show a man's penis and it is large how does that affect the guys self esteem? Do guys care if thier girlfriend has a bachlorette party with male strippers performing lap dances? I really appreciate all the honest feedback. This site is very helpful to me!
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male
reader, baddogbj  +, writes (24 November 2009):
 Strangely not. Most men are socialised to have a fair degree of contempt for pretty boy models. Although they may look muscly in close up photographs most of them are actually pretty skinny and weak. Few men admire or are intimidated by a boy who can't have a beer and curry because it might add a couple of pounds or who will back off from a confrontation because a punch might spoil his looks.As for male dancers or porn stars, no, why would I feel intimidated by someone who has to do that for a living?That is not to say that there are not men that I would feel threatened by but we men are conditioned to see our own wonderfulness and downplay that of others. Another man would have to best me on a fairly broad spectrum and frankly looks and the size of their penis would be some way down the order of importance after factors such as: business ability, Inteligence, physical strength and sporting ability, dignity and presence, family ... If my wife's friend's husband is a self made multi-millionaire, speaks 5 languages, pilots his own aircraft, spends his weekends engaged in extreme sports, has set up a charity to help AIDS orphans in Zambia, looks like a movie star, cooks like a Michelin starred chef and is reported to be hung like a horse... THEN I might start feeling that he might have the edge on me but as a man I would still be searching for those areas in which I'm better than him and trying to focus on those.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (23 November 2009):
I'm not bothered by it at all. I don't measure myself against other men, because I know there will always be someone who is better looking, richer etc. All I can do is be myself. I'm quite happy, so I'm not threatened.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually the Acercrobie and Fitch ads are hot!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): I disagree that the media hasn't saturated men enough to affect them yet.
Mens focus on appearance is getting MUCH bigger than it used to be. The gap is obviously not closed, but it is much farther closed than it was a generation ago.
Look at the increasing rates of cosmetic surgery for men, look at the increasing steroid usage for models & celeb actors, etc. These things are growing fastest in the youngest age groups. Even the toy male action figures are much bulkier than they used to be.
But even then I don't think men are as bothered by it as women are. It's a natural evolution thing for appearance to be more important with females. Males are desired for statues and wealth and physical abilities. Females are chosen mostly for fertility and that is more appearnce oriented. Some of this gap will never close.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 I've been around long enough to know there's always someone smarter, better looking, richer, whatever, than you are. If my wife were with me because of my looks, I'd have been single a very long time ago.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionLazy Guy,
I am not blaming my insecurities on men. Women have been treated as sex objects by many men for far too long. For example, prositution, porn, girls gone wild , strip clubs etc.. I do not find the humor in it at all!
I honestly appreicate all the wonderful men and women on this site that provide thier honest answers and take the time to help people with thier problems.
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A
male
reader, TorontoJohn +, writes (23 November 2009):
It doesnt bother me to see other men. If im watching porn and i see a big penis...thats not what im paying attention to, so I dont really care. If my gf is enjoying seeing another man who is in good shape it doesn't bother me either. Thats normal and natural. As long as she doesn't act on anything then it's all good. The door swings both ways.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 November 2009): I know you said guys only, but I wanted to point out a flaw in your thinking...guys get their self esteem from the size of their bank account, ask them if they lost their job, house and credit cards if that would make them feel insecure and you will get more 'yes' answers.
The media has not saturated them enough yet to affect them. Ask this question in 15 years and you will get a different response.
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A
male
reader, Jim01 +, writes (23 November 2009):
For me, when i'm watching a movie like 300 or a movie with brad pitt in his hay-day, (something of that sort) and they have the abs going on and they're all muscular, it actually motivotes me to get myself in shape. I go to the gym often but i get sidetracked a lot, but i know that that is my ultimate goal physically.
When i see those abercrombie models I just laugh, I believe most guys do, because come on, have you seen those ads? They're ridiculous. They're not even wearing clothes but it's an ad for a clothing line. That's funny.
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A
male
reader, LazyGuy  +, writes (23 November 2009):
 We are men, we look in the mirror and see perfection.
Super-models are thin and got small breasts, yet clearly the media shows women have to have big breasts... like all the a-cup super models.
What media are you talking about when it comes to breast size? Baywatch or the catwalk? How come no matter the cup-size women can be talked into being insecure about it?
Don't blame your insecurities on all men. Women do it all to themselves.
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