A
male
 ,
*ild Thaing
writes:For the gals: What are you thinking when you are checking out a guy's wedding ring?I was having lunch with a buddy of mine when this topic came up. Occasionally, when I am among women, I catch them ogling my wedding ring. If they end up making a compliment then I graciously accept it and think nothing more of the act. However, there are times when a woman will have double, triple, and quadruple takes of that ring and say nothing. In those situations I never ask what is going through her mind but I come away feeling a bit uncomfortable.After this chat with my buddy I thought I would come to the anonymity of this place and ask the question. I'm looking forward to (while simultaneously dreading) the responses.Thanks!
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male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (1 July 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks to those who answered the follow-up question!
Flower girl, I like the idea of just handing her the ring so she can have a closer look. I'll likely do that if the opportunity arises.
Mandy7, I am hoping that she and I trust each other enough to skip the casual conversation part and get to the heart of the matter. But I should probably be careful what I wish for...
Cateyes, she is the type of person that knows what she wants and will go after it... as long as she is within the boundaries to do so. I trust her not to pounce on me, but I worry that unspoken feelings will put a strain on our friendship. With my kindred spirits, I prefer to have feelings, however uncomfortable they may seem, out and resolved.
With your help I now know what I will do. Thanks again!
A
female
reader, Cateyes  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 I think asking her...Hey, Jane Doe, I see you notice my ring a lot, do you like it or do you think it's a bit flashy for a wedding ring? (or do you think it's quite unsual to be a wedding ring?) See what she says. There's nothing wrong in asking that kind of a question. She could be like me...if I really like something, I could stare it down, partly because I want it. (clothes, car, furniture, rings) But, I am not sure if she's really staring at your ring, it just might be YOU! And that's a whole different story! Let us know how it turns out...inquiring minds want to know. :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2007): Hi love
In response to your followup if this friend of yours is looking on a regular basis then i would say something like, "Oh do you like it, unusual is'nt it" and see what answer you get from there, Very casual love and the conversation should carry on, then you will no whats going on... LETS HOPE EH! Hope this helps TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXX
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (30 June 2007):
 Maybe when you are with her next time and she looks at your ring take it off and hand it to her, just say to her you only had to ask if you wanted a closer look as i have catch you looking at it before, if she gets embarrased about it, it's probably because she likes you.
Just a suggestion.
Take care.xx.
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (30 June 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks to everyone who took the time to reply. There was a more subtle reason I asked this question.
A close gal pal who has known me for years checks out my ring (frequently) since I can remember but says nothing. I'm pretty close to bringing up the subject because I really want to know what is on her mind at the risk of causing an argument. I don't care what her response is because I don't want any secrets or secret feelings festering.
How would you feel if a close married guy friend asked you why you look at his wedding ring? And what is the least offensive way to bring up the subject?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 June 2007): Hi love,
I personaly love unusual jewelery so if it caches my eye its something beautiful, I have had friends who like a guy and i always tell them to check before they pounce as he may have a ring, but alot of men dont wear rings these days so its hit and miss for my mates, hope this helps TAKE CARE MANDY XX
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A
female
reader, Cateyes +, writes (29 June 2007):
When I am out, if I find someone attractive and someone that I might want to strike up a converstion with I definatley look to see if he does wear a wedding band or the such. Now a days, it's tough because some of the rings they make are "out of the norm" and you never know if they are a wedding ring or "just" a ring on the finger. Being said that you have one of those "out of the norm" rings, if it is quite different and apparently a really nice one, well, yea, I probably would say to you as well that it is a very nice ring. However, because of being unsure still if it is...this is where I am hoping you say....it's my wedding ring!!!!! Then it's a quick...adios amigo!!!! :)
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A
female
reader, angelica111 +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Hi!Let me answer what i think too! I never look at a man's wedding ring on purpose. If my eyes happen to see the ring I don't give it a long stare. Not interesting for me.I have a lovely unusual ring too and have had women and men glance at it more than once! :-)It's a pleasure to see s/one wear an unusual wedding ring, and intresting to look at. They might not dare to ask you where you got it, so instead just take it in!Not much to it, but the model! (you may be a handsome man, but honestly a woman wouldn't stare at your ring then!...:)
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A
female
reader, chunkymunky +, writes (28 June 2007):
 well that depends, if hes a hot guy probabli 'blimey shes a lucky lady'but usually im just checking out the ring!! xx
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (28 June 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the compliment flowergirl! Some think "charm" is attractive, so those people must think I am full of it.
Yes, I do have an unusual-looking ring and I admit that I am proud of the way it looks. So when someone makes a comment about my ring I assume that it's because it does look so darned nice :)
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Yeah definetly. I would of died of shame if the guy had asked me why I was looking. xxxx
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing +, writes (28 June 2007):
Wild Thaing is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your response YummyMummy.
I'll admit to an ego boost when that happens. But based on your response it's probably best to not to ask the ogler why she is doing what she is doing. I would like to look at these situations in a positive light - that these women know that there is a boundary and that they will respect it.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 June 2007):
I tend to find that women if they think a guy is nice the first thing they do is check out to see if they are wearing a wedding ring( if they have an ounce of decency anyway), failing that you must have one stunnig wedding ring and it just catches their eye.
I would not feel uncomfortable about it take it as a compliment you obviously a very attractive guy for your ring to attract that much attention.:)
Take care.xx.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (28 June 2007):
 It could be different things. A women might glance at your wedding ring, to see if your married and therefore off her list. A another woman might be getting married soon, and has been looking at wedding bands, she may glance at yours to check out the color and style and wonder what it would look like on her man. Don't feel uncomfortable. She might be doing nothing more than noticing that you have nice hands, or that you need to clean your fingernails. Just wear it proudly and know that it could be a million things that's going on in a woman's mind if she glances at your ring and does or doesn't say anything about it.
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A
female
reader, YummyMummy +, writes (28 June 2007):
Maybe they are thinking "damn he's married" and realise that you have somebody's name stamped on you. When I was single I always checked out a guys hand for a ring.
xxxxxx
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