A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:After I lost my job I went through a period of depression. Then I went on a weight loss program and dropped 25 pounds, got a new job, looked around and realized I wasn't happy in my dead-end marriage so I got out. Now I've found a new man but my friends have all turned on me. Mind you, these are the couple-friends I had when I was married, so I expected them to drop me after I split up with my spouse but I didn't expect them to sabotage my new job or say such nasty things about my new man, whom they really know nothing about. Yes, he is a little bit of a bad-boy, but he's got a good education, has an exciting career and is stable. Yes, he's not anything like the suburban husband I left behind, he smokes, he drinks, he's naughty in bed but he treats me well and he loves me and we have an amazing life together. One of the husbands in our old friendship group is good friends with my boss and the CFO of the company I work for and I know he's been telling them crap about me because they've began to treat me differently but it's nothing on the surface that I can confront. It's all under-the-table gossip he's spreading, I just don't know how to stop it or prevent it from ruining my career. I don't consider these people friends anymore and I could care less if I ever see them why can't they just get a life and leave me alone? I can't prove anything, so I really can't confront them, but I suspect there are things being spread about me that's no one's business. What should I do about this?
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female
reader, YummyMummy  +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Stop contact with these people. They aren't mates if they spread gossip about you. Your boss can't treat you any different or sack you because of "gossip" spread by sad, people who have nothing better to do.
If you are happy with this new man then don't pay any attention to the crap. They will get bored and stop when they realise they can't drag you down. You sound happy with this guy, so just enjoy life and keep your head down at work and just do what you have to do with your job!
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (28 June 2007):
 Like you say what can you do, you have no proof that they are definately saying something.
If i were you i would hold my head up high as you have done nothing wrong, keep doing your job well and don't let them see or know that it is effecting you even if it is.
You have moved on and you are not hurting anyone with what you are doing so they should move on too and leave you alone.
Unfortunately when a marriage ends and there are mutual friends involved they tend to side with who they think is the wronged person.
You don't need these people so don't let them consume your life and they will get bored soon and give up, especially if they think you are not bothered by what they are doing.
Take care.xx.
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