A
female
age
30-35,
*ippie18
writes:Alrighhhtty, We'll cut to the chase.The love between my ex and I is well..confusing.So I'm asking for help, any advice, thoughts and suggestions. Help me out here!Get this, I went to middle school with my ex, totally didn't know each other til we re-met at his old job but still my current job, hit it off and it blossomed into my first love.I'm 18, Wooo, still young, (spare me the whole life I have to live remarks) =)I'm dearly in love with him and we just recently broke up for the same issues as most relationships, it got rocky and we're both young...whatever. I feel like he's truly my forever friend/soul mate. We're alike in how so many relationships wish they were,love the same things, we laugh together, give each other advice,understand and can predict each others thoughts ..e..t..c...He thinks there is someone better out there for me, but to him I'm his "perfect girl". Broken up for about two weeks and I can't see myself with anyone else, he's...me. I'm a strong girl, if things don't work out, I understand, but I don't know what to do, should I be his best friend and stick around to still grow up together? Should I call him my ex and move on?? or should I stay single and secretly..wait for him to come back to me. I like to think first loves do lasts. All in a matter of communication, good mindset and patience.Please, leave your first love stories, if they worked or went sour. (I prefer the ones that worked, haha) Advice and suggestions.
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): My first love story was tragic and I didnt even think she was the one. It was a relationship for 5.5 years. I took some time to recover, about 6 months, but did move on and afterwards it felt real good. Good luck.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010): Well, my first love left me...
But my second love didn't...I have told her many times that she is "the very air that I breathe". I love her more today than at any moment before this.
I saw a patient today, she was married for 60 years before her husband died, and said "that was unusual, everybody was getting divorced when we had been married 25 years and we just kept going".
I saw one yesterday who was married at 18...and lived and loved her husband till he died nearly 70 years later.
I saw one a few weeks ago, whose son told me "she lived and breathed my father".
Bottom line...it isn't your first love that matters, it is the one love that lasts...and lasts...and lasts... Not everyone gets to experience this and it takes a lot of strength, patience, understanding...and love.
If it is your first, then you are damn lucky.
If it is your second, third, or 4th, etc, you are still damn lucky.
Find that love, if you can.
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reader, mrvhappy  +, writes (23 September 2010):
Hi,
Does 1st love last?...hummm difficult one to ans. Yr 1st love is always v special but doesnt always last...depends on the circumstances.
My 1st love recently tracked me down via Facebk & FR. We met and still got on FAB. The love and chemistry are still there for all to see....unfortunately she is married but I am single...she wants to see me again soon....ohhh my complications!!
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reader, Sweety Pie +, writes (23 September 2010):
 Sorry...
My first love was when I was 14. We went out for 2 years, fought over something and broke up. Havn't heard from him in over a year.
I think maybe it used too, I know a lot of granparents who met ridiculously young, (like 12) and are still together. But maybe thats when divorce wasnt acceptable!
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Ok well i do have good news for you my story is a good one... I went to jr high with my hubby to be.2 we didnt really talk much. But i always kinda liked him and when we got into highschool we became good friends and decided to take our relationship further. We dated for a few months and out of the blue he broke up with me i was devistated. He told me he loved meand that we would be together again some day. But he was not ready to be in a serious relationship.i didnt beleave him so i let go and moved on. We did not speak to each other till our senior year we bacame good friends again but we were both seeing someone and i was preganate. On our graduation day we sat next to each other and talked during the ceramoney and as it was ending i felt like we were moving apart and i would never see him again. We threw our hats with the rest of our class and turned to each other and embraced and he told me goodbye and good luck. Over two years later we got in touch and now we are engaged. It just took a little time...
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reader, person12345 +, writes (23 September 2010):
 Unfortunately most first loves don't last. There's no way for us to say whether you should or shouldn't stay together, but it doesn't sound like he can anymore. There might be some kind of incompatibility, he might feel like he needs to explore a little more while he's young, it's hard to say. You two might be soul mates, you might end up together. If he truly believes you're his perfect girl, you need to reinforce that, otherwise you'll have to move on. Unfortunately usually when relationships are rocky and filled with fighting and breaks and break-ups, regardless of how much two people love each other, the relationship is probably not meant to be.
My story is pretty uninteresting, but here goes:
I went out with lots of guys, and never fell in love. Then when I was 19 I met someone who I connected with immediately, on every possible level. Being together and progressing in the relationship (everything from even starting to date, to sex, to saying I love you) happened so naturally and easily. It literally just felt like the most natural thing in the world. Even moving in together recently, just sort of happened without trouble or a ton of thought. Can I say it will last forever? Of course not. But I can say so far my first love has lasted, and will continue to for awhile! We're also talking about getting married once we're done with school (grad school and everything). Compatibility has never even been questioned and we've never taken a break or broken up or had any major fall-outs.
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reader, CuteBabe +, writes (23 September 2010):
 First love never lasts?! mmmmmmm come to think of it it's quite of true!:s First love is the most pure love and most honest one, It's the love that grows and lives in our hearts and believe me it can't ever be forgotten!!
And yes it doesn't last only for a few exceptions you know:s Our first love could be considered as a phase of life that we learn from and gain lots of experience.. We look back at it and see what went wrong and fix those mistakes in future relations..
According to your story I'd tell you to let go and move on you deserve better than waiting for him to crawl back to you!! Except if you're willing to sacrifice your whole life for the guy who dumped you (SORRY) are you willing to go through the whole thing again if he ever did come back??!! Believe me no matter how hard it is now it's way much harder if you got back toghether and he re-does the whole thing..
Now my first love begun at the age of 18 and 6 months after that we got engaged a year later we got married and 10 months after getting married I gave birth to my 2-year baby girl.. anyways when my daughter became 2 months old we got a divorce!!:s
I know sudden ending but thats my first love blossomed REALLY fast and ended even faster!! And now what I've learned is NEVER be a door mat for anyone!! I'm human too I have my needs and rights and it's ALL about me the same way it's about him!(I'm not being selfish you know but if I'm going to surrender and give in he'll throw me out like a bag of shit:s)
Hope i helped:)
Good luck!
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reader, hippie18 +, writes (23 September 2010):
hippie18 is verified as being by the original poster of the question okay this is what i wanted to write after an answer was posted.
I was talking to an ex of mine, as friends, but my current ex has a little bit of insecurity issues and we he found me texting him, he got kind of upset and said that was "flirting" etc and we decided to take a break...Right now, he still hasn't decided whether he wants to get back together..he says "I can see it both ways. Me being with you for the rest of my life but also YOU moving on to a better person." He says he still loves me and knows that he won't date for a lonnng time again or won't even try to search. This texting the ex has happened before, that's why he feels like its hard to get back with me, the whole...what if I do it again. I know his past girlfriends have always done that, talk to the ex and go running back to them, how can i prove that I'm different?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 September 2010): Sorry that's not enough info to give you accurate device "for the same issues as most relationships, it got rocky and we're both young" The precise reasons you broke up is an important factor. It will be able to tell us whether they're redeemable issues.
But to give you general advice based on what little info on the break up is available, the fact that you broke up means it's not meant to be. So I say move on.
All those great things you quoted about how well yee work together, how he said you're his "perfect girl", he completes you etc. It's all meaningless if you want my opinion because you broke up.
I don't think it it matters what I say though, because your whole question says you're not going to accept it's over, especially the line I quoted above and the dismissive "...whatever" at the end of it.
I will say this though, words mean nothing, actions are the truth of feelings he says you're his perfect girl, you say he's your everything yet are you together? No, you're not.
You're going through a break up with your first love, it's by far the toughest and I feel for you.
My story is simple, similar situation as you, we broke up because she wasn't in love with me too. I too didn't believe it as she said all that perfect guy stuff, she loves me but is not in love with me and I deserved better than her. So I did what I believe you're going to do and tried to remain friends with her, in the hope and belief that she was wrong and she'd eventually see that and we'd live happily ever after. It didn't work out like that at all.
I hung around and watched her date other guys, comforted her when they hurt her and had my heart broken over and over again by the closeness we still had, my belief that we were destined to be together and above all, the hope. I was crushed and it was my own fault because friendship is never enough when you love someone and unless you're a masochist it's not worth it either. I learned that we wouldn't have broken up if what I had in my head about us was true.
Waiting around hoping you can be with someone you're in love with is horribly painful and it's far better to just cut them out of your life and take the pain of that, because that goes away a lot quicker and you don't waste as much of your time and emotions trying to make it work just because you think it should.
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reader, Arcturius +, writes (23 September 2010):
First loves are powerful, there is no doubt about that. I'll tell you this though, all loves last. Either you always love someone, or you never did. If it doesn't work out, the importance it has for your day to day emotions fades with time, but the love itself doesn't really change. I would not recommend being friends, it'll be too hard for you to watch him live his life if he doesn't come back your way, and if he does, but takes too long, you'll resent the life he lived in between. Convince him that as he said "You're his perfect girl" fast, or move on. Too much time passes and its over no matter what happens.
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