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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Hi, my question is on first time sex and its not going to be easy to answer, but basically I was wondering whether I should do it or not. I know this must sound a little odd, but I was watching a Family Guy episode last night (don't knock it, it actually got me thinking) and there was this whole thing about purity rings and sex. And I'm not certain whether I want to or not. My 16th birthday is in 11 days time (YESSS!!) and on one hand, I feel ready to have sex with my boyfriend but at the same time I don't know whether to wait for marriage or not.I was hoping for some opinions on this subject or other people's experiences to help get a clearer picture on this subject.I feel really quite confused to be honest! Reply to this Question
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male
reader, realman  +, writes (21 February 2010):
As a man, from man's desire, maybe I should suggest that you can have sex with your boyfriend anytime. But as a father who has daughter, I strongly suggest donot do this now, you're after all too young. There are two reason I'll give you, one is this boyfriend you have currently may be not your husband in the future, if you have sex with him, just only for preasure, not for love. secondly, If you did, unprotected act might cause pregnant, it's really a upheaval disaster for a young girl of 17 years old. Respect yourself, it will give you a happy and wellbeing family.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Whatever your decision is , you should not have unprotected sex.
The choice is yours. You can wait until you are married or you can go with the flow.
If you are the religious and moralistic type you should wait until you are married.
Being pregnant at your age can be a big upheaval and a lot of heartaches to your parents.
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (21 February 2010):
 Your post is interesting. In reply, I am giving you some cultural ideas.
In all human history, in all nation, and in everybody's head, there exists ORTHODOX culture, that regard sex as something, that should be done in marriage relation only. What it mean? why after marriage, and not without marriage? The meaning is clear, orthodox mind hold sex has only one natural function, that is procreation.Which they hold is true nature of sex, and the word the 'nature' has only one sexual meaning also. Such culture do not speak about love. To them love is love for God. There is no space for human love. In marriage relations sex is duty, and not inspiration. It is duty of female to cooperate with male to have him sex, is the moral order for female. Female are not supposed to have any idea about having sex or love or both.
It is spiritual vision of pagan culture, that regard the divine aspect of sex and love.
Now try to find out your moral answer from above cultural analysis.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): If you have sex, just don't do it because you've bought into the bullshit. You're not being feminist and powerful and progressive thinking by being a slut.
Women were very sexually repressed a few decades ago, but not now. Not like it used to be. Now they are being told by almost everyone and everything to have casual sex. Religion still tells them no but there's a hell of a lot of other pressures telling them yes. The fact that most of them do it should tell you which pressure is really stronger today.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): if your boyfriend loves you enough he will understand you want to wait and that proves to you that he is worth having sex with , however if your having doubts about it might as well wait till your positive about having sex then that's when you will know its the right time .
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2010): Look I was younger than you were when I did it, am not even going to mention the age I was because it discusts me! And I the boy wasn'ty boyfriend so he was only after that one thing!
Its all up to you but sit down and tell him how you feel because you obviously have your doubts about it which shows thatyou don't want to as much as you do!
If I could go back I would love to have said no to him and waited until I was ready because I'm only 16 now and I still think about it and regret it alot. You may think that you are in love with your boyfriend but if he is not prepared to wait until you are as ready as he is then he's not the right boyfriend for you...
I hope you find out what to do pet but the right thing to do is wait until you are ready xxo
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): Just have fun, seriously!!! The more you worry, the worse it gets.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): Well, you can't have both, you cant have sex and at the same time wait for marriage. There's some chicks out there who are just hypocritical if you ask me, they wont have vaginal sex but anal and blow jobs and oral sex and whatnot. Which is just the same as having sex if you ask me.Main reasons to wait with sex until marriage: you dont get any STD's and you don't get pregnant.STD's you can get from all types of sex, even kissing (herpes). Pregnant you can get if you dont use protection (they are close to 100% safe but you should still be mentally prepared in case you're in that tiny tiny percentage that get preggo either way).Then there's the emotional side of sex, a lot of people believe its sacred and something special between two loved ones, hence the reason they want to wait until marriage. Others want to wait until they are in love with their partners, others again just love sex and will have it as often as they get a chance to despite whom they have sex with. Not to down talk your boyfriend though, but a teenage boy usually thinks with his penis, so be careful if you decide to have sex with him. He might not care if you get pregnant and he might not care about you as much as he cares about having sex with you, so watch out! I advice that you have a talk about this with your boyfriend just to clarify things and maybe it can help you reach your decision. I mean, it could be your boyfriend isnt ready or that he wants to wait until he's married for all you know. And a talk will do you good before you go on to having sex! For example: what are your expectations, what happens if you get pregnant etc etc
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female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (20 February 2010):
 If you're not sure, then you're not ready - simple as that. If your boyfriend loves you, he will understand.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): I don't agree with the first poster. Sex is a very big thing. Some people think it's just something you can do with just anyone whenever you want because it feels good and is fun. I don't think that.
In a real relationship sex should connect you to a partner in ways that you didn't know existed. It literally is a physical connection and as a first time experience should be thoroughly enjoyed and not gone into unsure if that's what you want.
The first time I had sex I was 17. And I felt rushed into it. I didn't enjoy it needless to say and I wish my first experience wouldve gone smoother. The fact you are asking shows you aren't completely ready.
If this guy loves you and you love him and you feel you are ready to experience it. Go for it. But be safe.
One way to tell if the guy is worth it is to ask him to wait. And if he agrees and is kind and waits, then he's probably the type of guy worth it.
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female
reader, Lîttlë FäLLën FrëäXx +, writes (20 February 2010):
My sister had this same problem to, so I'm going to tell you the same thing I told her. It's bad if you have sex at a young age because if he gets you pregnant, you will be ignored by friends, and sometimes even family. It's also a big responsibility if you do. What I'm saying is, wait until marriage. It's a lot easier on you, your family, your friends, and even your boyfriend..
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (20 February 2010):
If you were ready, you would be very sure of yourself. If you wish to wait, then wait. The right guy will understand.
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female
reader, dorothy2342 +, writes (20 February 2010):
 I would have to say wait until your married. Your virginity, you as a pure woman who has saved herself for her husband is the most precious gift you can give him and he will treasure that gift forever. Marriage is a Holy union, it means more than just being ready for sex. An animal is ready for sex. We are ready for marriage, where we give the most valuable gift we have, our purity, to the man we have saved ourselves for in marriage. I know sex means so much and yet so little to so many, it is reduced into just a physical act and it is so ment to be so much more than that. I hope you make the right decision. I hope you love each other enough to wait until marriage. If he is not willing to wait, you will be glad you didn't throw your virginity away to just another guy.
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female
reader, Chantelle x +, writes (20 February 2010):
 To be honest, i think you need to discuss your concerns with you boyfriend. If waiting is what you want then i am sure your boyfriend would be fine with it. Sex isnt such a big thing, admittedly it is good fun but at the end of the day it is how you feel.
I watch family guy also so wouldnt knock it :) also hope you have a happy 16th birthday :)
Good luck and i hopt this has helped. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2010): Well, I can only suggest what I did when I was young.....
And that was simply wait until I was ready, yes a guy said that lol.
But its true I should have waited bout another week before loosing it, but was too curous. Ultimately I dont regret it though.
So dont feel the need to rush it, and just let it happen when you are ready :)
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